Almost a Female Lifestyle
by Uwaah
Summary: Read as Naruto makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- SasufemNaruKiba slight femNaruHina.
1. Prologue - Kyuubi no Kitsune

**Almost a female lifestyle**

Me: Well my first fan fiction ever… Naruto is female so this should be fun. *Add – Evil laughter, lol -.-'?*

Naruto: WTF! I'm female what about my brilliant pranks?

Me: Will still be there… Your name will still be Naruto, Sasuke is still a teme – you just call him ero-genin and for a reason to – lol o_o' *Add – Blankness ^^,?*

Naruto: HOLY CRAP! I'm strong right? – Omg, I'm a lesbian right? – Oh no… x.x'! *Add – thump sound of Naruto fainting.*

Me: I was going to say that Sakura hates you and you hate her… but ehm… You'll find out.

Sasuke: I'm gay?

Me: Glad you admit it. *Add – Evil laughter! 8D!*

Sasuke: NO! Just disclaim please…

Me: Fine… Do I have to? *Add - Kishi-sama sewing me x_x'!* Fine… I do not own Naruto or any of its character only Sasukes OOC'ness *Add – Evil laughter 8D!*

Sasuke: I'm a pervert?

Me: Glad you admit it… Anyways, sorry for my bad English… I'm what they'll call a 'Dead-Last' in my class – btw. I'm bad for a reason I'm from Denmark and learned English in school -.-'!...

Sasuke I didn't admit anything… o_o'

Naruto: My awesome jumpsuit, hello?

Me: THAT'S GOING TO BE OVER MY DEAD BODY!

Sasuke: Mine too; please Kami-sama let her be hot!

Naruto: GET TO THE FRIGGIN' STORY ALREADY! *Add – Cute pout :3!*

Me: Sorry, sorry… HERE IS CHAPTER ONE OF 'ALMOST A FEMALE LIFESTYLE!' it's actually prologue but whatever…

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -Pairings not decided. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin' – Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Prologue – Kyuubi no Kitsune<p>

Hiruzens P.O.V

It was the 10th October. It was the birth of one of the greatest heroes of all time. The birth of Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto.

Minatos P.O.V

Earlier – Same day.

I was sitting at the table with two of the Hiruzen the third Hokage and Biwako his wife and of course my own wife Kushina. I knew this day was going to change our lives. 'Cause today we were having our first baby.

''This is what we did for your predecessor, Mito-sama, as well.'' Hiruzen started, ''the seal nearly failed when she gave birth.'' He continued.

He started to tell us about the place they have been setting up and the preparation.

Later – Same day.

''OH GOD IT HURRRRRRRTS!'' Was the sound of my lovely wife Kushina giving birth… ''KRAAAAAA!'' Another sound…

''Uh… I … Uh… I've never heard Kushina in so much pain,'' I panicked. ''are… are you sure she's okay?''

''SHE'S FINE JUST KEEP YOUR EYES ONE THE SEAL!'' Biwako yelled. ''But… She's-'' I stated before being interrupted. ''GOOD LORD YOU'RE THE FOURTH HOKAGE DON'T PANIC, THIS IS WHY WOMEN HAVE BABIES YOU MEN CAN'T HANDLE PAIN!'' She snapped at me.

While hearing Kushina struggling with giving birth and trying to hold the nine-tails I could feel Kyuubi struggling as well.

'It's so strong; I can feel the fox struggling to get out.' I panicked in my own head. ''HANG IN THERE KUSHINA, YOU TOO NARUTO!'' I yelled trying to support them both.

''THE HEADS OUT! ALMOST THERE, KUSHINA!'' Biwako yelled. I could still hear her pain. ''KEEP GOING KUSHINA-SAN!'' A nurse yelled as well.

''NARUTOOO! GET OUT HERE! AND NINE-TAILS STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!'' And with that line coming from me Kushina made her last push. ''It's okay…''

Kushina was panting hard at the moment. ''Congratulations, it's a beautiful, healthy baby girl.'' Biwako said.

I then heard two loud thuds and turned my head only to be met by Biwako and the nurse unconscious, and a man wearing a black coat and mask.

''Fourth Hokage – Minato… Step away from the jinchuuriki.'' The man said. ''Or your daughter dies at an age of one minute.''

My eyes widened, and then narrowed. 'That guy, how did he get through the barrier?' I thought as I heard Kushina in pain. 'Kushina, the seal is not done yet.'

''Back away from the jinchuuriki, or don't you care if your daughter dies?'' He snapped holding a kunai above Narutos face.

''HOLD IT! J-just calm down.'' I said panicking… ''NGH-GHHH!'' Kushina still fought against the fox.

''You should take your own advice Minato, I'm perfectly calm.'' He said tossing Naruto in the air.

''NARUTOOO!'' Kushina yelled. My eyes narrowed and with a yellow flash I caught Naruto, but quickly hearing a few 'KSHHH'. I looked at it only to see paper bombs attached to Narutos blanket. (A/N: Is it a blanket? O_o'?) I pulled Naruto out of it and in a second I was out of the place. I then transported home and put Naruto in a crib. ''You'll be safe here.'' Minato whispered to his daughter. ''You'll wait for on your own for a little bit Naruto… I'll have to go and save you mom before it's too late.''

When I came back after Kushina I noticed something really hard to notice… the nine-tailed fox had broken out. Kyuubi was aiming for Kushina but with a flash I saved her landing on a tree. ''Minato… Is Naruto…? Is Naruto okay?'' She managed to pant out; she looked to be in a lot of pain.

''Yes… she's fine I hid her somewhere safe.'' I reassured her. ''Thank god.'' She replied. ''Minato… Stop him, stop the nine-tailed… they're headed for the village.

I teleported home again, shocking Kushina. ''Why…?'' She asked. ''Never mind why… stay here with Naruto.'' I replied putting her next to Naruto.

Kushina panted heavy and wrapped an arm around Naruto. ''…Naruto…'' She said with a small voice. I clinched my hand into a fist looking down at my family sad. Putting on my cloak I said; ''I'll be back before you know it.

Hiruzens P.O.V

On to my version of the story… Damn you Minato for breaking in.

Uzumaki Kushina who happens to be the mother of Naruto was in labor and was at the time far, far away from the village. You see Kushina had a secret from the village. She was the jinchuuriki, the host of Kyuubi no Kitsune.

Kushina and her husband Namikaze Minato - who also happens to be the fourth Hokage and Konohas yellow flash – both knew that this was going to be a problem. The seal was weak at childbirth and therefore could we only fear that Kyuubi was going to fight the seal.

Kushina and Minato were sent far away with a couple of ANBU guards and medics. Those way things couldn't go wrong. Well… That's what we thought.

The same day Kyuubi broke free, and suddenly to my chock it was summoned to the village by who knows how. Every ninja was sent in action and could only hope to be alive after that. I was about to go myself when Minato came.

Everyone was relieved to see him on his face. (A/N: Didn't come out right… But you know what I mean… right? xD.) that was when Kyuubi formed a Bijuu beast bomb, and again everyone was scared. But luckily for the village Minato used a Hiraishin kunai and there created the 'space-time barrier'.

Other than the huge explosion that were miles away from the village and Kyuubi and Minato disappearing out of the blue.

Later that same day a few ANBUs and I were on our way to the place where Minato was. We weren't met by him although. No, we were met by the sight of the shinigami. That was where I knew he was going to kill himself.

Later that same day, that very spot, I saw Minato and Kushina die in front of their baby girl. I knew they were having a little girl but, I didn't know that she would be so beautiful. On her stomach were a seal, and a three bladed kunai.

And that was when Minato and Kushina died, and left behind their legacy, Uzumaki Naruto – Jinchuuriki of the leaf. Their newborn baby girl who they hoped would grow up as a hero.

* * *

><p>Me: AND END OF PROLOUGE! - Sorry if it was short, I'll do a longer one if I can, but get off my back seriously… Sorry!<p>

Naruto: Nobody's on your back…

Sasuke: That's what they call a dumb blonde… *Add – Uchiha God Smirk… xD!*

Me: … SHUT UP WILL YA? Geez I know, I know…. Anyway… REVIEW FOR A CHAPTER 1 :3!

Naruto: Don't if you want to live…

Sasuke: Do it I want to see him as a girl.

Sakura: This should be fun.

Neji: (WTF!) It's our destiny to see what will happen. (xD!)

Naruto-Sage mode: I'm serious…

Me: OKAY! Let's get on with this… thank you Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura…. Neji. (Seriously how did he get in?)


	2. Chapter 1 - Behold my Sexy Jutsu

**Almost a female lifestyle**

Me: HAVE NO FEAR YOUR CHAPTER 1 IS HERE!

Naruto: I thought this was 'Naruto'?

Me: It is…

Sasuke: Then what's with the Superman quote?

Me: I was bored -.-'?

Sakura: Nice excuse.

Me: Maybe I should add Sakura bashing…

Naruto & Sakura: WHAAAT!

Sasuke: YES!

Me: Well, if she's not nice…

Sakura: Ehm… We women shouldn't have to explain ourselves to you men…

*Add – Naruto and Sasuke face fault.*

Me: That's what I want to hear… Anyway I do not own Naruto and its character – if I did I would totally swim in money. NUAHAHAHAHA!

*Add – Totally awesome song by Green day – 21st century breakdown. Don't know how that fit but it does.)

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -Pairings not decided. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin' – Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Talking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 1 – Behold my Sexy Jutsu<p>

Normal P.O.V

It was the day of the day… No actually it was the day before the day of the graduation in the shinobi academy. And our favorite hero was as always at the academy listening to Umino Iruka talking… well now all there is missing in that description is our hero… _'Naruto is missing again…'_ Was the first thing Iruka thought. ''Iruka-san!'' Was the cry from a random shinobi as he entered the door to the classroom. ''Naruto is defacing the Hokage mountain, with paint!'' The shinobi yelled, and receiving stares from the whole class. However the shinobi noticed this and decided to say something to them… ''Stay in school…''

'_DAMN YOU NARUTO!' _Iruka thought as he began to walk out of the class. When he got to the door he stopped and looked out to the class. ''Study while I'm gone, okay?'' And with that he closed the door leaving some confused ninjas. ''DAMN IT WHAT DO YOU MEAN DEFACING THE HOKAGE MOUNTAIN? NARUTO WHEN I GET TO YOU IT WON'T BE PRETTY!'' Iruka cried outside the door, leaving some of the students to snicker.

''I respect that kid.'' A boy with red triangles on this face said to his dog. ''Kiba, that's unhealthy for you.'' The lazy genius said with a yawn. ''Sorry. But she does do some awesome pranks that I can only dream of being on.'' The boy now known as Kiba said.

Outside the Academy – the Hokage Mountain.

''GET DOWN HERE YOU LITTLE BRAT!'' A random shinobi yelled.

''NO WAY I'M HAVING A FUCKING GOOD TIME, AND THERE ISN'T A DAMN THING YOU DIPSHITS CAN DO ABOUT IT!'' Naruto, our hero, yelled.

Naruto wasn't the average girly girl. She was more of a tomboy… Even though she didn't look like it. Her hair was a sun-kissed blond and in two high ponytails going down to her hips. Bright sea blue BIG eyes, which she was very proud of. She wore a tight dark blue tank top which were fitting her curves just perfect, short one-sleeved orange jacket going to her waist, a pair of short orange shorts fitting her tights perfectly, she also wore fingerless blue gloves and blue shinobi sandals. All in all, she looked pretty darn good, and those whiskers like birth marks on her cheeks just made her cuter. (A/N: I am so bad at this I'm so sorry *Add – Anime waterfall tears.*)

''NARUTO!'' Iruka yelled, watching a now frozen Naruto. '_Crap its Iruka-sensei, what do I do, what do I do?'_ Naruto thought in panic. **''Kill him.''** Kurama said through a mind link communication… (A/N: o_o'? Is that right?) _'Stupid fox, I'm not going to kill him and that's the last time I'll have to say it.'_ Naruto yelled in his mind. **''Just saying…''** Kurama was interrupted by Naruto as soon he said 'saying'; _'Well don't you stupid-looking fucking fuzz but...' _That thought was also interrupted when Naruto saw Iruka standing right in front of her.

Naruto let out a scream, as much to Irukas annoyance. ''Naruto…'' He started out calmly. ''WHY AREN'T YOU IN CLASS?'' He freaked. ''Jeez, Iruka-sensei couldn't you see I was too busy defacing the Hokage mountain? Already gone senile?'' Naruto said while giving a goofy smile.

Back at the Academy.

The door to the classroom opened up, only to reveal Iruka and a tied up Naruto over his shoulder. As he entered he sat Naruto down on the floor to see her pouting.

''Naruto? What are you going to do? The exams are tomorrow and…'' Iruka was interrupted by Naruto before he could finish. ''Why do I feel so fucking dirty when I'm tied up?'' Naruto wondered. ''Cause it looks like you're about to get raped.'' Kiba said snickering. Naruto looked up at Kiba and then decided to speak. ''Yeah… That's got to be it. You're a genius Kiba.'' ''Care to tell my mother?'' He asked sighing, while Naruto giggled.

''Ahem! Naruto, the exam are tomorrow, and you are still the dead-last I can only be surprised if you actually pass.'' Iruka sighed and walked away from her. ''Well… about that, Iruka-sensei. I talked to the old grandpa and he taught me a new Jutsu that fits my chakra perfectly.'' Naruto said smiling, what looked like a real happy smile. ''Then there was something about my pathetic chakra control…'' She added.

This only made Iruka smile. ''Well, I can only say good luck then.'' Iruka said.

''And about the raping thing…'' Naruto said interrupted by Irukas cry.

''THAT'S IT! EVERYONE STAND UP AND RETAKE THE HENGE!'' Iruka yelled, only scaring the class to dare say another word.

Narutos P.O.V

Crap, I was busted by Iruka-sensei AND we have to retake the Henge no Jutsu. Great. Now my ultimate revenge! '_Kurama-kun, have any ideas?'_ I asked Kyuubi. **''You're on your own kit.''** Kurama answered chuckling_**. **__'Fuck you.'_ I cursed that stubborn fox, then hearing my name being called up. ''Uzumaki Naruto get up here.''

As I cursed to myself I finally thought about what to do. I added an almost silent evil laughter so silent only Iruka caught it. And there he got worried.

''HENGE!'' I screamed only to reveal a much older me… naked. Bigger breasts, taller in height, skinny… sexy. I then noticed Iruka-sensei was out cold from blood loss. I released the Henge and laughed my ass off. And I swear I even hurt some of the other students snicker at that.

''NARUTO, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?'' Iruka yelled.

''Uhm… I-I uhm… '' I stammered in panic and thought quick… Ehm… ''BEHOLD MY SEXY JUTSU!'' I yelled and turned back to the older me.

At the Hokage mountain.

'This fucking sucks!' I thought as I washed off the paint on the Hokage Mountain. 'They do know that it'll go away with rain eventually, right?'' I wondered while scrubbing hard.

''Better hurry, you won't get home before you're done.'' Iruka said eating an onigiri.

''So? It's not like anyone is there fucking worrying about me and my fucking health!'' Naruto yelled while scrubbing.

''Naruto?'' Iruka said questioningly. ''What about I'll take you for ramen after this?'' he added.

I lighten up and quickly yelled. ''YOU GOT A FUCKING DEAL!'' Then a suddenly realization came in my mind. ''Are you allowed to date your students?'' I smirked.

''IT'S NOT A DATE!'' Iruka yelled causing me to burst out laughing.

Normal P.O.V

At the Ichiraku's.

''Naruto, why did you deface the Hokage mountain? Don't you know who they are?'' Iruka asked.

''Of course I do. The Hokage is the strongest ninja in the village. The first founded the Leaf and the fourth sealed Kurama-kun inside me.'' She answered with a smile.

'_She knows about that? Kurama-kun? '_He mentally asked himself. ''Then why?''

''Because… One day I'm going to take that position. It's not a dream 'cause I know it'll become reality if I try hard enough. Even the ugliest caterpillar can turn out to be the prettiest butterfly.'' She said smiling.

''Wise words Naruto.'' Iruka said.

''Iruka-sensei, can I ask you something?'' Naruto asked looking down.

''You want another bowl?'' He replied slurping down some soup.

''Fuck yeah… But that's not it. I was kind of hoping I could try on that headband.'' She said giving a small smile.

Iruka sighed knowing the girl didn't accept a no, but in the end tried out his luck. ''This?'' Iruka asked pointing at his Hitai-Ate, ''No, but you'll get one tomorrow hopefully.'' He answered eating the rest of his ramen.

Naruto pouted but then ate the newly ordered ramen.

Next day.

Naruto was late as usual… She let out a sigh as Iruka yelled at her. She took her seat beside the lazy Nara.

''So now that you're all here we are going to have the genin exam. But first… a genin is the lowest of the lowest, which mean you shouldn't consider yourselves as good just yet. You need to work on that. Now we are all taken the Ninjutsu exam and the Jutsu you will perform is the Bunshin no Jutsu meaning the clone Jutsu. I'm going to call you up one by one and you may enter that room.'' Iruka said pointing at the door to a room we have yet to see. ''Okay first up is, Aburame Shino.'' He said going into the room, with Shino close by.

Everyone who entered that room came out with a Hitai-Ate.

'_I'm so excited!'_ Naruto screamed mentally. **''Shut it kit. I'm trying to get some sleep.''** Kurama complained. _'Sorry, sorry.'_ Narutos thought were interrupted by Uchiha Sasuke calling out her name to enter the room. ''Hey Naruto, your turn.'' Naruto smiled and nodded jumping up to in to the room.

In the room were only a table with Hitai-Ates on them and a chair with Iruka sitting.

Iruka smiled and began talking. ''Now Naruto, I'm going to see a **Bunshin no Jutsu**, right?'' He asked.

''No.'' Naruto replied looking at the gaping Iruka. ''I'm going to show you my **KAGE Bunshin no Jutsu**.'' She continued crossing her hands into a hand sign yelling out; '**'KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!''** And before Iruka stood 10 clones of the ever so troublesome Uzumaki Naruto. Iruka couldn't help smiling and gaping in the same time. ''You pass, with flying colors.'' He said smiling.

''YES!'' Naruto screamed.

''Now pick any Hitai-Ate you want.'' He said still smiling.

Naruto walked over to him and asked; ''Any?'' She then unwrapped HIS Hitai-Ate, and took it. Iruka was speechless but then couldn't help but to chuckle and hug her.

When she left the room she was surprised by the looks and gapes she got. ''OH COME ON!'' She yelled walked out of the room, furious.

Outside the academy.

Outside the whole class was greeted by their parents, grandparents and whatsoever. Naruto were about to leave them knowing she weren't welcome there when she bumped into a big, old man. The Hokage himself. ''Grandpa.'' She said smiling. The Hokage smiled as well when he saw the Hitai-Ate on her forehead. ''I see you passed Naru-chan.'' He said smiling.

''JEP! With flying colors too.'' She bragged pointing her thump on her Hitai-Ate.

''Come on Naru-chan, I'll take you for some ramen.'' He said.

''YAY!'' She yelled, as she followed the Hokage.

* * *

><p>Me: So? What do you think? Bad? Good? Give me some credit people I'm only human ): Btw. If you wonder who Kurama is then read chapter 568, there you will find out that he is KYUUBI!<p>

Naruto: I'm awesome…

Sasuke: Naru-chan… *Add – Sasuke bursting out with laughter.*

Naruto: TEME! SHUT UP! You're being totally OOC right now.

Sakura: I'm not even in it?

Me: Nope 'cause I'm the writer, I hate you and love HINATA 8D!

Hinata: A-a-a-a-arigatou.

Naruto: Well… Hinata is strong and all…

Hinata: N-Naruto-kun… *Add – Madly blushing Hinata.*

Me: NARUHINA! NARUHINA! NARUHINA!

Naruto: Huh? You say something Hinata?

Hinata: *Add – Faint*

Sasuke: No wonder she is being disowned by Hiashi all the time…

Me: HIASHI CAN'T SEE TRUE TALENT! I VOTE FOR HINATA AS HOKAGE! NUAHAHAHA!

Naruto: HEY!

Me: Anyway… Please review so I can continue this story, if not someone is getting killed.


	3. Chapter 2 - Pink Banshee and EroGenin

**Almost a Female Lifestyle**

Me: IN BRIGHTEST DAY IN BLACKEST NIGHT, NO REVIEW SHALL ESCAPE MY SIGHT! THOSE WHO FOLLOW AKATSUKIS MIGHT, BEWARE MY POWER… CHAPTER 2s LIGHT!

Naruto: Green Lantern quote? Seriously…

Me: *Add – Nervous laughter…* I'm a fan…

Sasuke: Why not Blue Lantern?

Me: Because that sounds plain stupid.

Sakura: Come on with the story I'm in this chapter…

Me: Stupid pink banshee…

Sakura: WHAT WAS THAT?

Me: I do not own Naruto or the characters… If I did Sakura would be dead, killed by Zabuza. *Add – Evil laugther.*

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -Pairings not decided. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin' – Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 2 – Pink Banshee and Ero-Genin<p>

The next day Naruto ran to the academy early, not wanting to be late as usual. And to her surprise a lot of the students were already there staring at HER for being early…

''What are you dipshits looking at?'' She asked with a furious tone.

''Naru-chan… you're early.'' Kiba answered while Naruto snarled.

''I told you not to call me that.'' She said pouting while walking towards the sleeping Nara. She sat down beside him, hoping to tear his life apart…

''SHIKA-KUN!'' She screamed and whiles the newly identified lazy genius Shikamaru jumped. And the Uchiha a row in front of them snarled at her loudness.

''Problem Uchiha?'' She asked twitching an eye.

''You're loud dobe.'' He answered calmly.

''I don't see the problem.'' And with that she jumped on his desk squatting right in front of him, glaring.

''You may not know it but you got a very annoying voice.'' He replied glaring back at her.

''Well at least I don't have a stick so far up my ass that it's messing with my brain.'' At that respond Shikamaru, Kiba and Chouji snickered while Hinata smiled at her.

''At least I got a brain.'' He said twitching his right eye.

''Okay, THAT'S IT UCHIHA YOU, ME AND FIGHT RIGHT NOW!'' I yelled making the whole class look at us.

''This is going to be good.'' Kiba said. ''Troublesome.'' Guess who. ''Naru-chan is going to be okay right?'' A worried Chouji asked. ''Naru-chan.'' Hinata just plainly said. **''SHOW HIM WHO'S THE BOSS!''** Hinatas Inner Demon yelled.

''NARUTO!'' Yelled a furious pink haired banshee. ''GET AWAY FROM SASUKE-KUN!'' **''SHANNARO!''**

''I HATE TO SAY IT BUT I AGREE!'' A pale blond haired bimbo screamed beside her.

''That's your back-up?'' Naruto asked looking at the raven haired Uchiha.

''I don't even remember their names.'' A confused Uchiha replied.

''Way to go, don't remember the fucking fan girls names.'' Naruto said snickering.

With that a book came flying hitting her head landing accidently on the Uchiha lip locking. The whole class stared at the two gaping. While Kiba looked like he was going to burst out. Naruto quickly moved away coughing his taste out of her. Sasuke did the same as her.

''YOU IDIOT!'' He yelled.

''WHO A YOU CALLING AN IDIOT ERO-GENIN!'' Naruto yelled back.

''WHO ARE YOU CALLING ERO-GENIN?'' Sasuke yelled on top of his lungs.

''I'LL KILL YA' FOR STEALING MY FIRST KISS!'' She jumped at him only to be stopped my Kiba and Shinos grip. ''WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING? LET ME AT HIM!'' Naruto yelled.

''We are not going to let you do that. Why? Because we think he is suffering a lot because of the fan girls. Why? Because they can be really annoying.'' Shino answered.

''Yeah… That could work.'' Naruto said smirking.

''Hn.'' Was all that escaped from Sasukes mouth.

''By the way you didn't have to try to use tongue…'' Naruto said walking casually past the now frozen Uchiha. Kiba burst a laugh trying to keep it in but failed. ''I have so much respect for that girl!'' He said still laughing, as he and Shino walked to their seats.

''Shika-kun…''' Naruto said poking at the sleeping genius. ''Shika-kun…'' She continued to say his name and poke him for a couple of minutes. ''He's out cold… maybe if I tell his mother he would stop sleeping in class like that, it's freaking me out.'' I said looking at Kiba.

''Try pull his pineapple ponytail.'' Kiba suggested with a foxy-like smile. ''Great idea.'' Naruto pulled Shikamarus ponytail. ''ITAII!'' Shikamaru yelled giving Naruto and Kiba a dead glare.

''He's up, man his face was priceless.'' Kiba said in between laughs. ''We have got to this more often.''

''It was awesome! Kiba you're officially my pranking partner!'' Naruto claimed in laughs.

''I'll kill you both when you're sleeping… Nah, too troublesome.'' Shikamaru threatened and then laying down to sleep again.

''Okay class, sit down and shut up,'' Iruka said walking in. ''don't think just because you're genins now that it's easier. 'Cause to be honest it is ten times harder than what you did in the academy. Now I'll be calling up the teams so listen up, I am NOT going to say it twice.'' Iruka then coughed and then continued. ''Team one will be…''

'_I hope I get a good team. Kiba could be fun being on the same team with.'_ Naruto thought. **''Hey Kit, wish for a team you can work with, not people you can have fun with. And now I think I'm going to add something that'll freak you out.''** Kurama said snickering. **''I think you like the Inuzuka.''** At that sentence Naruto blushed madly and did something she would never have done. ''STUPID FOX I DON'T FUCKING LIKE HIM THAT WAY!'' Naruto screamed made the whole class looking at her. ''Shit I said that out loud didn't I?'' Hearing Kurama laughing his ass off only made her even more furious.

In the background, she could hear people laughing. ''That's just priceless Naruto. So who's the stupid fox and the person you don't like that way?'' Kiba said and then noticed Narutos bright blush on her frozen face. ''You are kind of red…'' He said trying to hold in his laughter but failed miserably.

''Sh-shut up idiot, it's none of your business.'' Naruto replied blushing madly while looking the other way.

''As I was saying until I was interrupted, thank you very much Naruto… the members of team 7 is; Uzumaki Naruto... Haruno Sakura,'' Iruka was interrupted by two loud thuds, and looking up from his paper he saw Naruto and Sakura face first down their tables. ''and Uchiha Sasuke.'' He finished.

''YEAH!'' Sakura yelled.

''NO! THAT'S EVEN WORSE YOU LITTLE DIPSHIT, SCAR-FACED ASSHOLE, SON OF A BITCH I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE, GO DIE IRUKA-SENSEEEEEI!'' Naruto followed.

_'I'm stuck with two girls…'_ Sasuke thought…

Naruto looked to her left and saw Shikamaru chuckle. ''This should be fun.'' He commented. ''Shut it lazy-ass.'' Naruto said giving him a death glare. ''No, no he's right this should be fun.'' Kiba said snickering.

''Team 8 will consist of Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino and Hyuga Hinata. Team 9 is still in action. Team 10 consists of Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji. That's all for today, you may go to lunch. And Naruto you know after that complaining I'm cutting down your ramen today.'' Iruka finished.

Outside to lunch.

''SASUKE-KUN!'' Sakura yelled out. ''WHERE ARE YOU? I THOUGHT WE COULD HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER!''

''Give up Banshee, he's not there.'' Naruto pointed out.

''Stop calling me that. I'm not a banshee.'' Sakura said with anger in her voice.

''There is a reason why I call you that Banshee.'' Naruto walked up to her looking her in the eyes. ''Ero-Genin isn't here, he's probably somewhere brooding like always.''

''Why do you call him Ero-Genin, you only kissed ONCE.'' Sakura said sounding pissed off.

''To piss him off… it's actually quite fun.''

''Well stop that. We're a team now you better not piss him off.''

''Who are you to judge Banshee? Only looking for Ero-Genin when one of your teammates were standing right in front of you.''

''Why should I when you treat us the way you do.''

That was when Naruto snapped. ''WHAT THE FUCK YOU STUPID BANSHEE, ARE YOU A COMPLETE ASSHOLE? I TRY TO BE NICE TO YOU GUYS BUT ALL YOU DO IS LOCK ME OUT TREAT ME LIKE I'M NOTHING! WELL I GOT A NEWSFLASH FOR YOU BANSHEE. I'M UZUMAKI NARUTO I AM SOMEONE!'' Naruto then walked away from her.

''What the hell just happened?'' A confused Sakura asked the world.

''She's attention seeking 'cause of her childhood.'' A voice came making Sakura jump.

''Sasuke-kun. You know about her childhood?'' She asked sounding stupid.

Sasukes P.O.V

~-Flashback-~

_I was walking down the street noticing a few things different then when I was first walking here this morning. The people eyes were following a specific person walking on the same street. She had blond hair from what I could see. She had her back to me so I couldn't really see anything else, except the fact she had an unhealthy addiction to orange… Which were proven right when we got older…_

_I walked passed all the adults smiling at but I barely noticed. My eyes were focused on her. She looked beautiful even from behind of course I would never admit that… (A/N: He got a stick up his ass you know… Sasuke: Would you shut up and continue?) I heard people whisper something about – 'Demon brat' – 'can't believe Hokage-sama would let her start in the academy.' And from some older Jounin ninjas; - 'She kind of looks like the fourth. It's funny.' _

_I walked and walked behind her, until she turned around. I could see the tears at the corner of her eyes threatening to spill. I smiled at her; she was as beautiful as her back said she was. She didn't seem to notice me through; I guessed she must have had a tough childhood._

~-End of Flashback-~

Normal P.O.V

''A little. She grew up tough, alone. The people of the village hating her, some respecting her but she doesn't know it.'' He said looking at Sakura with an emotionless face.

''How come you now that?'' She asked him missing out on the little blush across his face.

''I heard from the villagers. They whisper rather loudly sometimes.'' He answered calmly.

''Oh, she must have it pretty tough then.'' Sakura said looking in the direction of where Naruto disappeared. ''But anyway want to have lunch Sasuke-ku…'' She said spinning around to face him only to be met by… nothing. ''SASUKE-KUUN!''

With team 8.

''Poor Naru-chan, ne?'' Kiba exclaimed. ''Having that banshee and Uchiha on the same team… that poor kid.'' Hinata looked up to him and smiled. ''She'll be alright.'' **''IF NOT I'LL KILL THOOSE POOR BASTARDS.''** Hinatas Inner Demon threatened.

''I'd love to talk to you too Kiba.'' A voice from behind him said sarcastically making him jump. ''I know they are going to make it tough for me, but you know that's how I like it.''

''Naru-chan~! How are you cutie?'' Kiba asked not noticing the obvious blush, even though you could confuse it with anger.

''Call me that again and I'll chop off what makes you a man.'' She growled – so her 'blush' was anger after all. ''And who the hell are you calling a cutie''

''Anyway… want to sit with us?'' Kiba asked smiling and trying to get out of subject.

''Sure… I see you guys as the team I never had.'' She said then noticing Sasuke in a window. ''Actually I have a self-giving mission, but thanks. See you.'' She said then disappeared with a flash.

With Sasuke.

''ERO-GENIN!'' Naruto yelled in a greetings way. ''Dobe… What are you doing?'' He asked coldly.

''Stop being so cold asshole.'' She hissed sitting on the edge of the window. ''I came here to talk to you about our team. No, actually only Banshee but still… can't you at least say to her you're never going to be together?'' She asked only to see Sasuke staring at her. ''Stop staring it's creepy.''

''…Huh… Oh.'' Sasuke said and then smirked. ''Why do you want me to tell her?'' He asked smirking in victory.

''Don't smirk at me you pervert.'' She hissed. ''Why wouldn't I want you to tell her? If she keeps being a banshee and squealing like she does normally… we might get killed.'' She said in an 'as-the-matter-of-fact' tone.

''I see your point, but it's not my fault I'm attractive.'' He said smirking again. ''Besides even if I tell her she will only think I'm trying to be precious.'' He finished off looking away from Naruto and still eating his onigiri.

''Well…'' Naruto started travelling over to Sasuke; now standing in front of him she actually stole his onigiri. ''You got to try until you succeed.'' She took a bite of the stolen onigiri and sat at the window again.

''You stole my onigiri…'' He exclaimed. ''You stole my first kiss.'' Naruto replied making him snort. ''You can have it back. I don't want it.'' He said coldly.

''But I want your onigiri so shut up.'' She said finishing the rice ball. Before she knew it, Sasuke had her cornered up against the window. ''I only got ONE bite of that one.'' He hissed glaring at her. Without realizing it they were in a glaring contest.

''You know, I think you like having me cornered up. Don't you?'' She asked still glaring. When she finished the sentence their glaring stopped and Sasuke pulled back. ''You didn't protest Ero-Genin.'' She said snickering.

He looked up at her and opened his mouth about to say something when Kiba jumped at her. ''NARU-CHAN! HOW COULD LEAVE US!'' He yelled wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder. What didn't go unnoticed by the Uchiha either was Narutos bright, bright blush. ''YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL US WHO THE FOX YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT IN CLASS WAS!'' He then began calming down as Naruto sighed.

''If you keep calling me 'Naru-chan' you're going to have trouble getting kids when you're older… And let go you're acting like a fucking pussy.'' She growled. Kiba then let go of her and looked up at the Uchiha. ''Uchiha…'' He said nodding his head in acknowledgement. ''Inuzuka…'' Sasuke nodded his head too.

There were and awkward silence then, until Kiba decided to do something about it.

''I act like a pussy, huh?'' He said staring at Naruto, who smiled in victory.

The break was then over.

They all walked back to the academy only for Sasuke to get attacked by a certain bubblegum pink- and pale blonde haired banshees and bimbos. ''Ne, ne… Ero-Genin… Good luck with Banshee and Bimbo.'' Naruto said laughing.

''Poor guy, I think he's gay.'' Kiba said thinking hard. ''That could explain a lot. He's always ignoring them, and only paying attention when it's a guy or you who are talking to him.'' Kiba said pointing the conversation to Naruto.

''Are you calling me a guy?'' Naruto said glaring at the dog owner. Kiba then panicked to find the right answer. ''No, um… I… You see… You make one hell of a girl…'' Kiba stuttered. Naruto then glared harder at him. ''But you… um… Make one hell of a tomboy too…'' He continued rubbing the back of his head.

''Asshole.'' Naruto hissed and waited for the senseis to show up.

As soon as Naruto put herself to sleep a man with dark hair and a beard came in with a cigarette. ''Team 10; meet me at the BBQ place.'' He finished walking away with Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino.

''I'LL MISS YOU SASUKE-KUUN!'' She yelled leaving.

_'Lucky bastards.'_ Naruto thought growling a little.

''Naruto… talk to me, your pranking buddy, remember? KIBA! INUZUKA KIBA!'' Kiba cried out desperately. ''See? Pussy. You still act like a fucking pussy.'' Naruto replied making Kiba happy.

''Akamaru, you heard that too right? She loves us after all.'' Unknowing to Kiba and Akamaru, Kibas sentence were misunderstood and Naruto were blushing like hell with widened eyes.

''Smooth Kiba you broke her.'' Sasuke said sarcastically. ''Huh, the Uchiha said a whole sentence?'' Kiba said smirking, leaving a really red girl alone.

''Team 8, come with me please.'' A woman with raven hair and crimson red eyes stood there in front of them. She then walked out followed by Kiba, Shino and Hinata. ''See you later…'' Hinata said waving. **''IF THEY DARE TOUCH A SINGLE HAIR ON MY BEST FRIEND I'LL KILL THEM!''** Hinatas inner demon growled.

Three hours later…

''OH COME ON! I'VE BEEN LATE BEFORE BUT THIS IS JUST RIDECULIOUS!'' She yelled and looked at the door. She then took out a bunch of play cards and mixed them for fun. She looked over to her teammates who just stared at her and her professional way to mix cards. ''Anyone up for strip poker?'' She said smiling a foxy smile.

The door then opened up, only to reveal a man with silver-white spikey hair and pitch black eye… the other eye covered with his Hitai-Ate, and a mask covering the half of his face. ''Hm… my first impression of you guys… Blondie looks like fun.'' He said and eye-smiled at them.

''I like him, can we keep him?'' Naruto asked out loud to her teammates, who still just stared at her.

''Meet me on the roof in 5.'' He said waving and then disappearing in a poof of smoke.

On the roof.

''Hello again students.'' He said with an eye-smile. ''I would like for you to introduce your-self.''

''What should we say?'' The pink haired banshee asked.

''You know… Name, likes, dislikes, dreams, hobby and things you treasure the most.'' He explained. ''What about I go first, for you I am the stranger in this group. My name is Hatake Kakashi, I like… I dislike… I had no dream but a nightmare last night… I have plenty of hobbies… I treasure…'' He smiled under his mask as he finished off. ''Your turn Blondie.'' The newly dubbed Kakashi (A/N: Like we didn't know that Ehe…) said and pointed to Naruto.

'_We only found out about his name…'_ The tree genin thought in unison.

''Right, I'm Uzumaki Naruto, I like ramen, training, instant ramen, ramen at Iruka-sensei pays for… everything about ramen.'' Naruto said drooling in action. ''I dislike perverts…'' glancing at Sasuke in action, which got Kakashi to think. ''and squealing banshees.'' She then glanced at Sakura sitting at her right. ''my dream for the future is… yeah… pretty much the usual having a normal life as a kunoichi, maybe one day in the future settle down and have a family.'' She said smiling gently at the thought. ''As for hobbies… pranks and training, did you know that pranks are perfect for training? I treasure a special kunai… for a reason I'll never tell.'' She said foxy smiling.

'_Interesting girl.'_ Kakashi thought then looked over to Sasuke. ''Broody your up.''

''Names Uchiha Sasuke. I like very few things and dislike a lot of things. And… I can't really call it a dream, more like and ambition. The resurrection of my clan and to kill a certain someone.'' He said resting his chin in his folding hands.

'_Whoa, what I only stole like… ONE onigiri.'_ Naruto thought backing away from him.

''Lastly pinky.'' Kakashi motioned his hand for her to start.

''My name is Haruno Sakura, I like… well… It's a person…'' She said glancing at Sasuke. ''My dream for the future is…'' glancing at Sasuke again she squealed. ''I dislike… NARUTO!'' She said.

''WHAT! OKAY THAT'S IT! Ero-Genin I stole ONE fucking onigiri and now you want to KILL me?'' She said standing up and turning to Sasuke then to Sakura. ''Banshee, I stole ONE kiss from the fucked up Ero-Genin and you HATE me?''

''You didn't steal ONE onigiri you stole THE onigiri.'' Sasuke argued back. ''And I don't want to kill you. Do you get dumber and dumber every day?''

''You didn't steal ONE kiss from Sasuke-kun you stole THE FIRST kiss from Sasuke-kun.'' Sakura said standing up looking like she was about to cry.

'_What the hell… Banshee, Ero-Genin… She sure is creative._ (A/N: Thanks… Sorry needed some credit, it's not like you guys gives me any.) _So she stole and onigiri from Sasuke and his first kiss that Sakura deemed hers?' _Kakashi thought snickering.

Naruto then sat down and pouted. ''I miss Kiba. He's my pranking buddy. WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?'' Naruto yelled. **''So you do like the dog boy.''** Kurama said with a mocking tone and laughed while Naruto were blushing madly.

''Why is she blushing?'' Sasuke asked.

''Maybe she likes Kiba. YAY! I don't have to share my Sasuke-kun!'' Sakura exclaimed rather loudly.

'_WHAT! No, that can't be. They're good friends but still…'_ Sasuke thought hard.

''Anyway… We'll meet tomorrow at training ground 7, 5 AM sharp, for our little survival exercise. And don't eat breakfast, unless you enjoy puking.'' Kakashi said and 'poofed' away.

* * *

><p>Me: OKAY! Finally… o_o'? Did you enjoy? What do you think of the nicknames? NO! WAIT! What do you think of Hinatas INNER DEMON! I like it.<p>

Hinata: Aw-Awesome.

Me: Hinataaaaa~!

Naruto: Do I have like the mutt face?

Me: … Holy shit what am I doing… Is this a SasufemNaru or KibafemNaru?

Sasuke: Whatever it is make me powerful in the bell test.

Sakura: Y-yeah… Sasuke-kun has to be the best.

Me: No… Naruto is going to be the best. Nyaaa…

Naruto: OH YEAH! PLEASE REVIEW! *Add – Nice guy pose.* REWIEV!


	4. Chapter 3 - A Thousand Years of Pain

**Almost a female lifestyle**

Me:Without warning it comes… crashing through the window of your computer… and mine… I have seen it before… somewhere… it frightened me… as a boy… frightened me… Yes, Chapter 3. I shall become a NINJA!

Sasuke: …. *Add – Blank expression.*

Naruto: … *Add – Gape.*

Sakura: … Batman?

Me: No… Bruce Wayne.

Kakashi: Ne, Ne. Give it a rest. She's a superhero freak.

Me: Thank you Kashi-kun.

Kakashi: You're welcome Author.

Me: I do not own Naruto or its character. If I did Kakashi would be married and have 13 kids x.x'? YES 13!

Kakashi: *Add – Eyes widened.*

Naruto: Oh gosh sensei… You've been busy…

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -Pairings … confusing. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin'_ _– Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 3 – A thousand years of pain.<p>

Naruto woke up the next morning doing her normal morning routine, and in action forgot NOT to eat breakfast. She looked at the clock, seeing it was already 5 AM… ''DAMN IT!'' Naruto thought and ran out of the door.

''**Hey Kit? Are you ready? You have your special kunai right? And the scrolls? WHAT ABOUT THE SCROLLS!'' **Kurama panicked. _'Don't worry Karu-kun. I got all the things I need. I don't need to hold back any longer.'_

At training ground 7.

''Naruto you're late.'' Sakura hissed, glaring at Naruto who glared back. ''I'm here before Kakashi-sensei… Aren't I?'' Naruto said smiling big.

'_Huh? Her smile is different from yesterday when she was talking about her dream. Almost like this one is fake.' _ Sakura thought and then nodded. Sasuke seemed to notice it as well as he just stood there staring at her.

One hour later.

''Ero-Genin, could you please sit still? I'm trying to sleep.'' Naruto said leaning up against Sasukes shoulder, sitting under a tree with Sakura and him.

''Stop calling me that… And stop drooling.'' He hissed. ''Ra~amen…'' Naruto dreamed.

Sakura just sighed and talked about how she was going to destroy Ino at everything… with love involving.

Three hours later.

''Where is he?'' Sakura complained glaring at Naruto who were currently sleeping on Sasukes shoulder.

Sasuke were staring at Naruto with softened eyes. Naruto were purring.

''Ra~amen…'' Naruto still dreamed, snuggling closer on Sasukes shoulder making him blush. _'Damn non-Uchiha face, I'm ashamed of myself.' _He thought scowling at himself. Sakura who noticed this felt a stab through her heart.

A poof of smoke woke Sasuke out of his thought, Sakura out of her broken fan girl and Naruto out of her sleep. ''Yo.'' Was all their sensei, Kakashi, could say.

''Yo? YO? WHO ARE YOU TO 'YO' US YOU FUCKING SCARECROW LOOKING DIPSHIT!'' Naruto cursed glaring at their sensei.

''Quite a mouth you got there Naru-chan.'' This snapped Naruto.

''WHATCHAYA' CALL ME SCARECROW? CALL ME THAT AGAIN AND I'LL FEED YOU TO KUMARA-KUN!'' She cursed yet again. **''Lunch, ne?'' **Kurama asked.

'_Kurama? Does she mean Kyuubi? Kurama…' _ Kakashi thought chuckling amused and held up a clock. He sat it on a log and put it on alarm. ''Oh look, he has an alarm after all…'' Naruto joked annoyed.

''This is what I like to call – The Ultimate Test. I have never passed a team before. 27 passed from your class. But out of those 27 students only 9 will obtain the rank of genin. The failure odds are 66%. I got 2 bells here.'' Kakashi said holding up to silver bells.

''Oh look he can count.'' Sakura hissed, while Naruto gaped. ''Banshee is a joker…'' She whispered.

Kakashi sighed and continued. ''These two bells will secure one of you get a ride back to the academy. But who? You will be taking these bells from me, so you have to go all out. Everything is allowed even weapons, yes. And no, I don't die that easily so you can stop doubting me.'' He looked at them. All their faces were … blank. ''Those who don't get a bell will be tied up and you won't get any lunch.'' He finished off hearing two growls and saw a foxy flashy smile on Naruto.

He sighed again. ''Fine then, begin.'' He said waving his hand as the three genins disappeared.

Narutos P.O.V

Okay, so I was hiding in the branches with a perfect look out spot. I just had to get a bell. _'Kurama… Kurama… KYUUBI!' _ I mentally yelled as Kurama finally answered. **''Just use THE kunai and get it over with.'' **Kyuubi said growling at her. _**'I should never have given her my real name.'**_ He thought without even noticing that our minds are STILL linked.

'_Hm, how will he react?' _Naruto thought taking out THE kunai.

Normal P.O.V

There Kakashi stood looking around not even dropping his guard for one second, when he heard something coming in his direction he looked to the objects and heard a loud; **''KUNAI: KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!'' **He looked at the hundreds kunais flying against him he moved quick and quick enough to dodge all of them but still being surrounded. On the ground were hundreds of kunai but only not just with ONE blade there were THREE on each, on the holder was some odd seals, and that was where Kakashi figured it out. _'WHAT, NO WAY!' _He thought widening his eyes.

And with what looked like a yellow flash, only mere seconds and Kakashi saw all the Kunai dispel. Except one. Out of the dark came a blonde haired girl, looking up at her sensei she held out a bell and said; ''I win.'' Giving him a foxy smile, while picking up the kunai.

All three witnesses were choked. Kakashi for having dé JA vu, Sasuke for not even being able to follow the speed and Sakura for her chance of getting a bell was now ruined.

Kakashi blinked a few times still stunned by the vixen… then poofed into a log… ''KAWARIMI?'' Naruto yelled looking in her hand… a stick. Then looked at the hand with the kunai… nothing. Narutos eyes narrowed, no one touched her kunai besides her.

''**Need some power Kit? I'll gladly help for the fun of it.'' **Kurama offered._ 'No, I'll do this myself… left, right, above, behind… down.'' _Naruto thought punching the ground making it rumble then crack and pieces flew everywhere; let's say it was like an earthquake where there is now a ruined training ground... ''Nice hideout sensei.'' Naruto said with still narrowed eyes and an evil smirk. ''Give it back or I won't hesitate to kill you.'' Kakashi lying there on the ground looking half dead. _'Punches almost like Tsunade… I should give it back, but first…' _ Kakashi stopped thinking for a moment and did whatever he did…

'_Hm, interesting.' _Sasuke thought from the leaves. _'What the hell? How can she be so powerful? Now she's going to impress Sasuke-kun… But she likes Kiba! Phew.' _Sakura thought assumingly.

Next thing they knew were Kakashi standing behind Naruto doing the 'tiger' hand sign. ''Never let an enemy get behind you Na-ru-Chaan; Hidden Leafs Ancient Taijutsu Supreme Technique; ONE THOUSAND YEAS OF PAI-'' as he was about to shove two fingers up her ass she turned around glaring at him.

''Did you just try to finger rape me? YOU FUCKING PERVERT!'' She yelled launching a kick at him, only to split a log. What got her happier was the fact she got her kunai back.

'_A-re where is he? I can't sense him.' _She thought.

With Sakura.

'_I have to find Sasuke-kun before sensei finds me.' _Sakura thought running through the forest. She quickly stopped finding her sensei reading a perverted orange book, as she saw that book she sweat dropped but sighed that he didn't notice her.

''Sakura… behind you.'' Kakashi said squatting behind her. Sakura looked around and quickly jumped out in the clearing.

Kakashi doing the hand signs snake and ram whispered;** ''Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu.''**

Leaves began twirling around Sakura. ''Huh, where's sensei?'' She looked around only to find a half dead Sasuke. ''S… Sakura… help me…'' He managed to slip out as Sakura felt tears rolling down her cheeks and screamed the hell out.

'_Hm… Maybe I overdid it a little bit.' _ Kakashi thought.

With Sasuke.

'_That was Sakura.' _ He thought.

With Naruto.

''_Stop calling me a banshee.' She said… LIKE HELL THAT SCREAM COULD KILL US ALL YOU FUCKING BUBBLEGUM HEADED BANSHEE!' _Naruto thought and noting mentally a thousand way to kill Sakura.

With Sasuke.

The wind blew through his hair and leaves were flying past him. ''I'm not like the other two.'' He said calmly not looking at his sensei.

''Of course not… They are girls.'' Kakashi chuckled at his own joke leaning up against a tree reading his perverted book.

''No, I'm not like them more than one may. I don't want friends. I want power.'' Sasuke hissed.

''Ever stopped to wonder WHY you were paired up in teams?'' Kakashi asked eye-smiling at him.

''No.'' He answered throwing a few shuriken, which Kakashi easily dodged. ''Such obvious attacks are useless.'' Kakashi said hearing a robe getting cut. _'A trap…?'_ He thought, dodging some Kunai. Sasuke came at him from behind, in a continued assault with a barrage of kicks, and punches, simply blocked and deflected by Kakashi. And when Sasuke managed to touch one of the bells, Kakashi backed off.

''I've got to admit you're not like the others. Even though if I had underestimated Naruto a little bit more I think she would be able to get a bell. I guess it's in her genes.'' Kakashi said finding his book again.

Forming some seals Sasuke shouted out;** ''Katon: Goukyuu no Jutsu.''** And a huge fireball came out stunning Kakashi… who were now gone… ''Where is he?'' Sasuke said looking around. ''Below you…'' Came a mocking sound from the ground taking a grip on Sasukes ankle.

**''Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu.''** Kakashi said pulling Sasuke into the ground with only his head up.

Running coincidentally by was Sakura who stopped seeing Sasukes head, and screamed. ''SASUKE'S HEADLESS!'' She screamed fainting.

''Useless…'' Sasuke muttered surprised by her reaction.

From the other side came a calm Naruto walking, then she stopped to stare. ''Who were you calling a dobe again?'' She said calmly but inwardly she was going to burst out laughing at any time. **''BWUHAHAHA!'' **Kurama laughed.

''That's it? No laugh?'' Sasuke wondered.

''Nope, picture…'' Naruto replied taking a camera up, then took a picture.

''D-DOBE,'' Sasuke yelled obviously annoyed as hell.

''Relax let me dig you up.'' Naruto offered walking over to dig him up. ''Now Ero-Genin this doesn't mean I'm nice to you, okay?''

''Hn.'' Was his reply.

''That's how I like it.'' Naruto said giggling. _'I wonder how much Kiba will pay for the picture…'_

After the digging was over she pulled him up. Staring at each other, Sasuke finally broke the silence. ''Thank you,'' He muttered looking away. ''Sorry what?'' Naruto asked smirking in victory. ''I said thank you.'' He finally said blushing in embarrassment.

Smiling at him Naruto heard a bell ring which Sasuke heard too. ''What happened to Banshee?'' Naruto asked pointing to Sakura. ''Uselessness…'' Sasuke answered walking over to get Sakura. Throwing her over his shoulder he walked away with Naruto beside him.

A tied up Banshee, a groaning closet pervert, a tired blond closet genius and an open perverted sensei. All in one place, what could go wrong? ''You're a bunch of idiots. You ever stopped to think about your teammates? No, you haven't. You all fail but because I'm nice (A/N: And awesome…) I'll give you another chance. Now eat your lunch and figure out why you were put on a team. BUT, don't feed Sakura.'' Was the sound of Kakashi right before he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Opening their lunch, Naruto looked up to see Sakura half dead from the lack of food. With pity Naruto brought her hand with her bento out to her. ''Eat and look alive please?'' Naruto demanded. ''You look stupid half dead.''

A surprised looking Sakura gaped when Naruto offered her, her lunch. ''I said take it before I change my mind.'' Naruto demanded yet again. ''Dobe, can't you see she's tied up?'' Sasuke said, while Narutos left eyebrow twitched in annoyance. ''Fine then fed her Ero-Genin.'' She smirked in victory.

Suddenly Sakura got a dreamy look on her face while Sasuke and Naruto sweat dropped. ''Good luck Ero-Genin.'' A snickering Naruto said. ''Damn you Naruto…'' Sasuke muttered taking her bento and took some rise in the chopstick and rose up his hand to her mouth, until a loud thunder sounded and in front of them standing a mad Kakashi.

''Holy fuck we're busted.'' Naruto yelled. Sasuke stood up ready to defense.

''Any last word?'' Kakashi asked frightening Naruto and Sakura.

''Uhm… BEHOLD MY SEXY JUT…'' Naruto yelled getting interrupted by Sasuke; ''NOT HERE DOBE!''

''WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO FEED SAKURA, WHEN I CLEARLY SAID NOT TO?'' Kakashi said in a threatening voice. '' Not listening goes with puberty?'' Naruto answered in a form of question.

''Would you stop that? Dobe, you're ruining our serious façade.'' He said annoyed. ''Sorry… Sensei, you said we should figure out why we were a team and we figured it out. We should have worked together in this test. I remember Oji-san talking about his team, and how they almost didn't pass because they didn't know the true meaning but passed them eventually, he passed it down to Jiraya of the sannins then to his student the fourth and then to you.'' Naruto answered putting up her serious façade up again.

''I'm glad you said that, Naruto.'' Kakashi said eye-smiling at them. ''You all pass.''

Narutos mind.

_-Loading…-_

_-Loading…-_

_-99% complete…-_

_-Loading…-_

_-100% complete…-_

Outside Narutos mind.

''WHAAAAT!'' Naruto and Sakura screamed, while Sasuke was gaping.

''You heard me… You pass. You see this test was based on teamwork whilst you knew that you didn't have time to untie Sakura you stood in front of her instead. I once heard a person say; 'those who break the rules of a shinobi is called trash, but those who abandon their friends and comrades are even worse.' You see that stone over there? On that stone is the name of the heroes of this village, aka. People KIA. Killed in Action. My best friends' names are on that stone.'' Kakashi explained looking up to the sky.

''Congratulation you are officially Team 7, or should I say Team Kakashi.'' Kakashi said doing the 'nice guy' pose.

''We should kill him.'' Naruto bluntly said.

''I'm in.'' Sasuke answered still staring at their sensei.

''Count me in too, we need to steal his book first.'' Sakura said joining the conversation.

''Can I read it before we burn it?'' Naruto asked bluntly.

''Who's the pervert now, dobe?'' Sasuke said sarcastically while smirking.

''Grr, shut up ERO-GENIN!''

''Make me.''

''I have blackmail from that time!''

''WHAT!''

''BWUAHAHAHA!''

'_What?' _Sakura thought.

''I should get him back from where he tried to finger rape me…'' Naruto muttered going home.

''Ehm, meeting tomorrow at the bridge for your first mission… 7 AM…'' Kakashi yelled watching the three new genins walking away.

* * *

><p>Me: I'M DONE BABY! WUHU! MY ASS IS SLEEPING AND I CAN'T MOVE… 'That time' is going to be a future omake… You just have to review this is my last chapter if no one reviews after I publish this one. (Oh, and check out my new fic, ''Uzumaki Prodigy'' Naruhina SmartNaruto.<p>

Naruto: I'm strong… Awesome… I'm a girl… humiliating.

Sasuke: Girl Naruto has super strength, Kage Bunshin AND Hiraishin…

Naruto: I'm AWESOME!

Sasuke: Why couldn't you be a girl in the actual manga?

Kakashi: Nee, Sasuke relax he's perfectly fine as a boy in the manga.

Naruto: I want to learn Hiraishin…

Sakura: Super strength is my specialty.

Me: No… Inhuman strength is your specialty.

Sakura: What cha' say? SHANNARO! *Add – Monster punch.*

Me: KYAAAA!

Naruto: Review to see more of me…

Sasuke: And see me surpass everyone and defeat my brother.

Naruto: Brother this, brother that… Brother freak…

Sasuke: You want to fight?

Naruto: Fuck yeah.

Me: Eh… MOVING ON! Reviews remember or no more chapters… Or my new hobby is gone… -.-'?


	5. Chapter 4 - Kill the Drunken Old Fucktar

**Almost a Female Lifestyle**

Me: I don't want you with me! I don't need you! I don't need anybody! With my story — my chapter 4 — the world is mine!

Sasuke: Hulk… Stupid much?

Me: Stick up your ass much?

Sakura: On with the story please?

Naruto: All three shut up and disclaim!

Kakashi: Our lovely Author doesn't own Naruto or its character. If she did I would have 13 kids…

Me: Damn straight, and Naruto would have a Harem in the first episode.

Naruto: … I'm not complaining.

Me: See, I don't have an inner pervert I have an outer pervert.

Sakura: ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -One-sided; SasufemNaru and femNaruKiba. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin'_ _– Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 4 – Kill the Drunken Old Fucktard.<p>

''Banshee…'' A voice growled, ''target is five meters. I'm ready.''

''Ero-Genin, thanks again Dobe… Target 4 meters, I'm ready.''

''You're welcome Ero-Genin. Five meters from target.''

''Use your codename Dobe.'' Ero-Genin demanded.

''NO! Go fuck yourself in your fucking pity Ero-Genin.''

''Come on Dobe.'' Banshee growled.

''Not using it…''

''Scarecrow to Ero-Genin, Banshee and Dobe, you all ready?''

''Hai!'' All three yelled in unison.

''Okay, ATTACK!'' Scarecrow yelled.

Dobe, Banshee and Ero-Genin jumped out to the clearing to get that monster that was running around the forest, the now identified Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke caught the demon identified as a cat… Well Naruto caught it.

''KYAA, STUPID CAT!'' Naruto yelled struggling to hold the cat still. **''USE THE KUNAI! That's not a cat that's MATATABI, the two-tailed demon cat!'' **Kurama yelled panicking over the monster of a cat. _'It only got one fucking tail!' _Naruto argued back. **''The Nibi cloak? Ever heard of it? I've got a Kyuubi cloak, want to try it?'' **_'Is that a fucked up pick up line?' _**''BWUHAHAHAHA!'' **

''Tora is confirmed, ribbon on left ear.'' Sasuke approved in the radio (A/N: Don't remember what it's called.). ''Stupid cat.'' Sakura complained.

''Target is going to die!'' Naruto mumbled and took the Hiraishin kunai up. ''DIE, DEMON CAT! BWUHAHAHA!'' Naruto laughed evilly.

Later in the academy with Iruka and the Hokage.

Naruto was tied up for trying to kill the cat. ''I don't blame her.'' Sasuke said. ''Me neither… that cat is evil.'' Sakura agreed.

''I have my rights to kill that kitty. Kurama thinks it's MATATABI! THE TWO-TAILED DEMON CAT!'' Naruto yelled.

''IT GOT ONE TAIL!'' Sakura screamed as the banshee she was.

''NIBI CLOAK, ITS FIRST STAGE FROM FULL FORM!'' Naruto argued back.

'_Kurama, who the hell is Kurama,' _Sasuke and the old man thought.

'_Hm, isn't the two tailed demon cat named Nibi? Kurama and Matatabi…' _Kakashi snickered at the thought.

''Whatever let's get another mission.'' Sasuke said interrupting everyone's thoughts.

''Hm… now let's see what we have babysitting, dog-walking, weed pulling…'' the old man said before being interrupted by all three genins cry.

''NO!'' All three yelled in unison. ''NO MORE OF THESE MISSIONS! HELL THEY AREN'T EVEN FUCKING MISSION! THE ONLY DANGER THERE HAS BEN SO FAR IS THE FIGHT WITH MATATABI…'' Naruto yelled getting interrupted by Kakashi, ''Tora…''

''Are you saying you want a harder mission?'' Sarutobi asked with a smile on his face.

''FUCK YEAH!'' Naruto yelled.

''Alright… well this is a C-rank mission; you're going to escort and protect a bridge builder to the Wave. Could someone please send Tazuna-san in?'' He said as the door opened up only to reveal a drunken old man.

''These are the ones who are supposed to protect me? My grandson is scarier and he's 8. What's up with Blondie she looks stupid.'' Tazuna commented.

''EXCUSE ME!'' Naruto yelled taking defense stance. ''I'll kill you, you old drunken Fucktard.'' She pulled up THE kunai and was about to throw it when Kakashi hold her back. ''What's the point in killing the person you are supposed to protect Naru-chan?'' Naruto twitched at the nickname, she HATED it. She only liked some people to call her that when she was in a good mood and right now she is in a really bad mood.

''Then I'll kill him and revive him, he called me Blondie that fucked up bastard.'' She yelled. ''Then I kill you for calling me 'Naru-chan' BASTARD!''

Sasuke then smirked. ''Naru-chan.'' Naruto glared at him. ''Naru-chaaaan.'' Sasuke continued teasing her.

''SHUT UP YOU ASSEXUEL FUCKED UP DICKLESS, COCK SUCKING, PERVERTED MALE ORDERED PROTUTIC ASSHOLE!'' Naruto snapped all the insults she could think of under pressure.

Sasuke, Sakura and Tazuna were just gaping like goldfishes, whilst Kakashi, Iruka, Sarutobi and the others in the room was pretty much used to it.

''Sorry…'' Sasuke whispered.

''Better be Ero-Genin.'' Naruto muttered.

''Alright team, meet me and Tazuna-san at the east gates in two hours.'' Kakashi said as the team left.

At the gates, three hours later.

''I KNEW HE WOULD BE FUCKING LATE!'' Naruto yelled as their sensei yet again was late.

''It's you who wanted to keep him!'' Sakura argued.

''WELL FUCK HIM LET'S JUST GO!''

''No, we are waiting.''

''Would you please shut up both of you? Seriously we just have to wait two hours or more...'' Sasuke trailed off, ''okay, forget it. Let's go.'' He finished walking out of the gates.

''Ehm, shouldn't we wait for the Jounin? I think that would be much safer wait for him.'' Tazuna declared.

''Fine we'll wait.'' Sasuke said.

Two and a half hour later.

With a poof of smoke Kakashi was standing with an eye-smile, giving the peace sign. ''Yo!'' He exclaimed now looking at his students.

''Garr, 'Yo' he said MY ASS!'' Naruto yelled pumping a fist up in front of her face.

And with that the team walked away from the gates and went for the Wave country.

The sun was shining, and only a small breeze could be felt. Our favorite blond of course, complained about this. ''THIS HEAT IS FUCKING KILLING ME!'' She yelled.

''Would you stop complaining, it's annoying Naru-chan.'' Sasuke teased.

''Would you stop calling me Naru-chan, I don't want your stupid fan-fuckers on my ass.'' Naruto glared at the last poor Uchiha, with all her might, only to be cut off by a loud shriek of their pink-haired teammate. ''KAKASHI-SENSEI!'' Sakura yelled.

Two Kiri ninjas just stood there, one had shoulder-length, wild dark-brown hair and dark eyes. He wore a rebreather that covered the lower half of his face and a large, clawed, poisonous gauntlet on his left arm which had a chain coming out of it that had the other end attached to his brother's own gauntlet. He wore a camouflage suit with bandages around his waist, dark-colored, knee-length sandals and several pouches around his waist. His Kirigakure forehead protector had two horns on it, ''let's do this Gozu.'' He said.

Gozu had shoulder-length, wild dark-brown hair and dark eyes. He wore a rebreather that covered the lower half of his face and a large, clawed, poisonous gauntlet on his left arm which had a chain coming out of it that had the other end attached to his brother's own gauntlet. He wore a camouflage suit with bandages around his waist, dark-colored, knee-length sandals and a ragged black cape. His Kirigakure forehead protector had a single horn on it, ''Right Meizu.'' Gozu said.

Naruto looked at the two men from Kiris appearance and decided to speak up. ''They look fucking stupid, how could sensei loose to them?'' Naruto bluntly asked.

''Naru-chan, this is the real deal. They are ninjas from Kiri; they look med to high Chunins. Sakura, protect Tazuna-san, Naru-chan and I will fight.'' Sasuke commanded.

''Hai, Sasuke-kun.''

''Sure, pervert.'' Naruto charged with a chakra infected fist. ''DIE YOU KIRI-FUCKERS!'' She slammed the fist into Meizus gauntlet breaking them apart; she kicked low, then sweeping him off his legs. All happened in a flash of yellow.

Just then Sasuke noticed all the tags on the ground, there were several of seals. It was the Hiraishin seals, but without the Kunais. He looked at the other one, Gozu, and narrowed his eyes. But before anyone noticed they were both, tied up against a tree. ''I didn't even get any fun.'' He sighed.

''Sorry Ero-Genin, I guess I went a little over the line there,'' Naruto started. ''but better sooner than later, right?'' She finished.

''I hate you Naru-chan.''

Naruto glared daggers at him. ''Call me that again and I'll kill you without hesitating.''

''Ma, ma… let's just breathe here.'' Kakashi said calming them down…

''Where the hell did you come from?'' Naruto asked.

''You see, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they do things together that symbolize their love…'' Kakashi was cut off my Sakuras shriek. ''KAWARIMI!'' Naruto, Sasuke and Tazuna looked at the place they thought Kakashi was killed at.

''I hate this team.'' Naruto complained.

Half an hour of walking, without talking.

''So…'' Sakura said trying to come up with a conversation, ''have you ever kissed anyone else but Sasuke, Naruto?''

Naruto choked on her own spit, ''EH! What the hell, Banshee. What happened with Ero-Genin and I, was an accident… but yeah, I've kissed others.'' She answered smirking.

''Really, I thought I was your first.'' Sasuke teased.

''My first male kiss. I've kissed a girl once too; I wanted to test if Hinata really was all that innocent. Apparently she is. She fainted when our lips touched.'' Naruto replied.

Narutos P.O.V

~-Flashback-~

_I was in the forest training with Hinata-chan. Damn she can train. She trains too much. It's unbelievable. I only need her in some orange, and she'll be perfect for my first lesbian experiment. ''Oi, Hina… You seem so innocent… why?'' I asked, she took a break from training and looked at me, then finding her feeds rather interesting._

''_I-I don't know. Maybe it's just my personality… why?'' She replied. I walked over to her, with an orange scarf thinking that she is perfect for my first lesbian experiment._

_I put the scarf around her neck then snaked my arms around too, I leaned in and could already feel her freezing up. I gave her a peck on the mouth and she fainted… ''Okay, she is all that innocent.''_

_Later same day, she woke up and I looked at her with a bored expression. ''Ya' know, you should kiss someone back before you faint. That's just rude.'' Hinata blushed extremely at that comment. ''But at least you're my best friend so you don't have to worry about me, spilling out every detail of you being so clumsy at kissing'' I finished grinning big time._

_Hinata was still blushing and I wondered if I had broken her. So, of course as the friend I am which is pretty awesome… I went over to her and slapped her. It wasn't a bitch slap… it was a gentle one, thank you very much. I'm a better person than that._

~-End of Flashback-~

Normal P.O.V

''You've kissed a girl? Why the hell would test if she was all that innocent?'' Sakura asked.

Behind the three Genins was their sensei and client sweat dropping at their conversation. ''A they… talking about kisses?'' Tazuna asked looking at Kakashi with a questionable look. ''I didn't even know you talked with boys about these matters. I got to talk with Kurenai and Asuma now…'' Kakashi replied giggling perverted.

''So, have you ever kissed Kiba?'' Sasuke asked.

Naruto blushed at this, ''Not telling. Plain embarrassing.'' She tried to get the blush to calm down, but it wouldn't listen to her.

''COME ON TELL US!'' Sakura pleaded.

''Fine…'' Naruto whined.

Narutos P.O.V

~-Flashback-~

_After the team replacements day, I went home to get some rest for tomorrows test. My place was dirty… really, really dirty. I need to clean up, man, it sucks being an orphan, not having anybody to clean for you. Those fucked up thoughts were interrupted by a fucker knocking on my door, like it was Osama Bin Laden standing there. ''Coming, coming jeez.'' I yelled. I opened the door and outside that door, Kiba was standing. ''Hey cutie, missed ya'.'' Kiba said, inviting himself and his dog in._

''_What are you doing here Kiba?'' I asked annoyed as hell, I was going to sleep for fucks sake. AND THEN HE JUST COMES BY, RUINING IT ALL, FUCK HIM!_

''_Is that how you greet your guests Naru-chan? You're so cute.'' And would he stop calling me cute? … Did he just call me Naru-chan? OH THAT'S IT, THE BITCH IS GOING DOWN!_

_Maybe I could make him faint… he's already a pervert, I mean come on, last year he groped me… I'M SORRY; I FUCKIN' DIDN'T MEAN TO DEVELOP FAST! But anyway payback is a bitch, and right now I'm that bitch. Have you ever seen a yellow butterfly? Well, I have… Lucky me. Anyway back to the fucking subject. I'm going to seduce that little idiot. It shouldn't be hard, he's dumber than me._

_I watched as he made his way to my bed, jumping in like it was his own. ''What do you want from me Kiba? I'm tired, and need my sleep.'' He looked down on where he was sitting and looked up again, ''who's stopping you?'' He stupidly said. I wanted to scream in his face 'YOU ARE YOU FUCKED UP MORON!' but this was an excellent opportunity to seduce him._

_I laid next to him on the bed, my head on his chest, and an arm around his stomach. I could feel him freeze up, Nyaaa. I'm good when I am good. I sighed loudly into his chest, he shivered at the air. MUHAHAHAHA! I'm good, when I'm good. OH YEAH! ''So, what's your sensei like?'' I asked in my sickly sweet voice, makes me sick every time I use it. Garr. ''S-s-she's s-scary…'' He stuttered. Oh my Kami. Did Kiba just stutter? This just gets better and better._

''_Wait a second, my bandages are killing me.'' I said, walking over to my wardrobe, okay so I wear bandages to make my breasts look smaller, but they kill me every time. ''Holy fuck, you wear bandages? You're breasts are like… bigger than Hinatas.'' I glared at him; nobody talks about Hinata in such a fucking inappropriate way. I took of my bandages they went from my navel and up, I took on my bra and turned around to him and could already see him ogling. ''Stop staring you creep.'' I exclaimed._

''_Sorry, you look adorable, come here Cutie, you said you were going to sleep.'' He just want to grope me, that pervert. But it is a part of my plan of making him faint without me hitting him. So of course I went over to him, laid down next to him again, the same position and the same freeze up. NYAHAHAHA! I'm good. He opened his mouth to say something, I could feel it… his jaw hit my head, the nerve._

_I couldn't hear anything coming out of him, so I looked up with my big blue eyes, I'm really proud of. ''Yes?'' I asked innocently, hah me innocent. THE APOCALYPSE IS HERE. I know I totally just dissed myself, but fuck it, let's hear his answer. ''U-um, I…'' he stuttered, do I really have that effect on boys. I wonder if I could make Ero-Genin faint. TIME OF MY LIFE IF I COULD! I cupped his cheek, making him look at me. Blue meets brown… HE WASN'T EVEN TAKING A GLANCE AT MY BOOBS! Hehe, booooobs. ''U-um I…'' With a quick movement I was suddenly on the bottom and him on top._

_He's mouth came closer… OH THE HORROR! His lips touching mine now, I gasp in surprise… and he slid his tongue in… HE SLID HIS FUCKING TONGUE IN! He pulled back, my eyes as wide as dinner plates, his as close as my front door… eh, that was lame… ''…Ramen.'' He suddenly said, I don't know if he said anymore, but I'm sure he said RAMEN, I'm hungry._

~-End of Flashback-~

Normal P.O.V

''I WAS JUST LAYING THERE, STIFF FROM SHOCK, THAT BASTARD THE NERVES!'' Naruto yelled.

''I think he likes you, Naruto.'' Sakura informed.

''Eh, I don't like talking about boys with you Banshee. You're always stating the obvious.'' Naruto said slightly annoyed, at her surprising sound, Naruto was beautiful, everyone could admit it.

''So you really wear bandages? Why to your navel?'' Sakura asked.

''I hate my stomach. It's curvy. Like an oval.'' Naruto answered as she formed with her hands an oval over her stomach.

Sasuke had enough… ''Kaka-sensei, I need some man-talk.'' He turned to Kakashi and Tazuna and waited up for them. He began walking with the two instead.

''I would be proud to have so many curves.'' Sakura informed.

''Yeah you would think tha-'' Naruto suddenly heard a noise from a bush and pulled out a kunai to throw. Sakura screamed in shock, Sasuke and Kakashi was on their guards and Tazuna was staring in shock. ''Naruto, what the hell?'' Sakura yelled.

Naruto went to investigate but only found a… bunny. ''That's a bunny…''

''No shit Dobe.'' Sasuke commented.

''I'M SOOOOOO SORRY RABBIT.'' Naruto hugged the rabbit tightly. ''BUT WHY ARE YOU WHITE, IT'S SPRINGTIME!''

Kakashis eyes widened. ''EVERYBODY GET DOWN!''

They did as told, when a huge sword came flying towards them. The sword ended on a tree and a man stood there with his back to team 7 and Tazuna. A man whose appearance was… shirtless.

''Momochi Zabuza…'' Kakashi muttered just enough for his students to hear.

''Kakashi of the Sharingan… no wonder the Demon brothers failed.'' Zabuza commented.

Naruto decided to join the conversation; ''damn a hot body.''

* * *

><p>Me: DONE! Sorry if you waited I couldn't find my USB. -.-'!<p>

Naruto: In other words… you're an idiot.

Me: You should talk…

Sasuke: Author got a point.

Naruto: TEME! SHUT UP!

Me: BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Naruto: Sorry.

Me: Anyway… voting time…

Vote 1 – SasufemNaru

Vote 2 – KibafemNaru

My two favorite pairings… vote through reviewing.


	6. Chapter 5 - Fucking Hash Tree

**Almost a Female Lifestyle**

Me: And I shall shed my light over dark evil, for the dark things cannot stand the light… the light of… CHAPTER 5!

Sasuke: I am so close on killing her…

Naruto: It was a freaking Green Lantern quote… AGAIN!

Me: I would have taken Wonder Woman… but that just seemed wrong, I'm not that big of a fan of her. I mean… COME ON, SHE'S A FREAKING PRINCESS FIGHTING CRIMES!

Sasuke: Author doesn't own a damn shit, that's how fucking poor she is.

Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP UCHIHA SASUKE, I'LL KILL YOU!

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -Pairings not decided. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin' – Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 5 – Fucking Hash Tree.<p>

''WHAT HAS HE BEEN EATING?'' a female voice yelled from outside a house, where inside a house a woman and her son was sweat dropping, whilst looking in the direction of the outburst. ''I'm serious he weights a ton!'' The complaining was getting louder and louder for every second.

''So you can ruin the whole training ground, but you can't carry Kaka-sensei?'' A male voice argued, whilst the mother and son inside the house began to worry and walked to the door, but before they got to it, the door was kicked open.

''Shut up Ero-Genin. I'm still mad at you for FUCKING GROPING ME!'' A blond haired girl replied making the boy blush deeply. The man she was dragging with her was tossed to the ground as she stared at the pervert – as the mother and son thought he was after his nickname and the blond girls' outburst – waiting for an answer for that.

''Don't flatter yourself, it was an accident.'' He retorted, ''and why the hell would I grope you on purpose, when we were in the middle a battle?'' The blonde girl snorted and threw a fist in his guts, making him gasp.

''Stupid pervert.'' She muttered.

''Naruto, leave Sasuke-kun alone. Get Kakashi-sensei to a bed, he is exhausted not a doll you can throw where ever you want.'' A bubblegum pink-haired woman demanded as the newly dubbed Naruto took their sensei over her shoulder and looked over to the confused mother and son.

''Where do you keep your guestrooms ma'am.'' She asked politely… almost scary.

Sasukes eyes widened. ''Sakura, are you sure we went back with the right Naruto?'' He muttered looking at Sakura, who only shook her head, 'no'.

''Oh, shut your fucking mouths, I can be polite ya' know.'' There was an awkward silence between the three young Genins…

''The apocalypse is here…'' Sasuke muttered.

Naruto glared daggers at him, before yelling; ''FUCK YOU UCHIHA! THAT'S ONLY WHEN I PLAY FUCKING INNOCENT!'' The mother joined their conversation, deciding that it was probably better that they helped their sensei, instead of argued about who could be polite and who couldn't.

''Excuse me? Hi, I'm Tsunami, daughter of Tazuna. Your sensei can rest in the guestroom, come on I'll show you to it.'' Tsunami said to Naruto who willingly followed her.

Sasukes P.O.V

~-Flashback-~

''…_um, thanks girlie.'' Zabuza responded to Narutos comment about his 'hot body', ''you too.'' That tricked it… I looked up to the shirtless swordsman and scowled. That damn pedophile probably checked her out… what? Don't look at me like that; of course I care about her. That's why I asked her if she kissed Kiba… I wanted to know if I should kick him where it hurts, or just kill him. Now you're looking at me with that face again. Damn morons._

''_Damn pedophile!'' I muttered, so low no one could hear it. Or so I thought, I think I just saw Kakashi-sensei with a perverted glint on his face… damn pervert. Yes I am better than he is, thank you very much._

''_Why thank you Zabuza-san, may I say I like you. Want to be my enemy?'' Naruto replied with a goofy grin on her face. It makes her look so cute. Tell and I'll kill you without hesitating. Wait, she liked him? Do I have to complement her to say that to me…? Damn my life sucks. I know I should focus on killing Itachi, but what's the point in killing him first before I revive my clan? I mean I could get killed, and then there would be no chance for my clans' survival._

''_Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, protect Tazuna-san and stay out of the way. This guy is over your league by… a lot.'' Kakashi-sensei demanded as I heard Naruto groan in irritation._

''_Thanks for the confidence speech, you fucking scarecrow.''_

_We jumped into formation and protected the old man as ordered. Suddenly a thick mist fell, and I went a little closer to Tazuna-san to close the gap to give him a smaller chance of coming in between that gape._

_While I brushed back, so did Naruto and Sakura. My hand ACCIDENTLY…_

Narutos P.O.V

_HELL NO YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE YOU DAMN PERVERT! DON'T COME AROUND AND MAKE UP SOTRIES YOU FUCKED UP ASEXUAL MAN WHORE!_

Sasuke P.O.V

_Thank you… how kind of you… Naruto. But as I said, my hand accidently BRUSHED… okay latched on, something soft. That's when I noticed my hand was in front of Naruto, when I motioned for the two to move back. My hand had grabbed onto something round and soft. Well that was the feeling of it. NO I'M NOT A PERVERT!_

''_Don't worry kid, I would have done the same thing if I was in your situation.'' A voice from behind us said as we all three turned around to counterattack. Behind us stood Zabuza and Kaka-sensei, with a kunai in Zabuzas stomach. I would have thought that there would be blood… but I only saw water. It turned out to be a Mizu Bunshin._

_The same happened to Kaka-sensei, who also turned out to be a Mizu Bunshin… amazing what a Sharingan can do… right? Think about what he could do if he had been an Uchiha. Now that would be awesome. To have a sensei from my own clan. I wonder who Itachis sensei was, hell I wonder where Kaka-sensei got his Sharingan from..._

_Before I knew it, the two of them was fighting a hell of a battle. Until Kakashi-sensei got stuck in a water prison._

~-End of Flashback-~

Normal P.O.V

''I'll go assist Naruto, Sakura you'll stay here with Tazuna-san and the kid.'' Sasuke demanded as Sakura just eagerly nodded with what looked like hearts in her eyes.

Sasuke walked up stairs into a hallway, when he noticed Tazunas daughter, Tsunami. ''Tsunami-san?'' Sasuke called out. She turned to him and smiled, ''I'm Uchiha Sasuke, my team is here to protect your father.''

She nodded at that, and he continued. ''I'm sure Naruto didn't even bother to introduce herself when you two left, her names Uzumaki Naruto, the silver-haired pervert who is currently unconscious name is Hatake Kakashi, our sensei,'' he took a deep breath and continued, ''the pink-haired girl downstairs name is Haruno Sakura, we're Genins from Konoha.'' Tsunami smiled.

''I'm Tsunami, and you've already met my father Tazuna, my son who is currently downstairs is Inari. We're very grateful for what you're doing for us. Thank you Sasuke-kun.'' Tsunami smiled gently and continued, ''your teammate probably needs help I think she could burst any time, she kept complaining about your senseis weight.''

Sasuke chuckled lightly, ''sound like her, alright. Thank you Tsunami-san.'' He walked into the room Naruto and Kakashi was in and smiled at how caring Naruto could be. She was currently putting a wet cloth on his forehead, almost looking peaceful alone… ALMOST!

''Naru-chan?'' Sasukes deep and dark voice made her 'EEP' and jump in surprise.

''You bastard, I bet you sneaked up on me to look at my ass, whilst I was bending over to put on the cloth.'' Naruto accused pointing a guilty finger at him.

''Actually… I'm here to help. I think we proved our teamwork quite a lot against Zabuza.''

''You want to work with me more…'' Sasuke could almost see the stars shining out of her when she said those words.

''Calm down, I want to talk to Kaka-sensei when he wakes up too, so please work the magic…''

''Like I worked the magic when I fucking improvised when I got the pervert out of the water prison?'' Once again Naruto sparkled saying the words.

Narutos P.O.V

~-Flashback-~

_Don't ask why… but the moment Kakashi-sensei got caught in the water prison I accidently began to think. ''Ero-Genin! It's our turn…'' I said as I launched forward with a Chakra infected fist, as the Mizu Bunshin took out that big ass sword. I took out a regular kunai and threw it at the clone, only for the clone to catch and launch back at me._

_Behind me Sasuke prepared a fire Jutsu; how I knew you might ask… mind your own fucking business. Before I even launched at Zabuza, I gave Sasuke… willingly… my special Hiraishin Kunai. IT HURTS, DAMN IT! So I teleported to it and whispered a few words in his ears, as the fireball was fired at the clone, who made a simple water Jutsu. What he didn't notice was my Kunai. THE Kunai… Right behind the fireball that was thrown at the clone, was my kunai._

_As the clone didn't notice it, he just dodged it like it was a simple, regular kunai… THE NERVE OF THAT BASTARD! AND TO THINK I ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE HAD A HOT BODY! As I said… he dodged it and the kunai went to the original, directed to his chest… but he caught it. I transported to the caught kunai, and smirked as I hit him in the chest with a Chakra infected fist._

_And that people, is how I met my future husband… he didn't even get that hurt out of it… he only got sent a bit backwards making him release the water prison… I think it's hot… I think everything is hot, so fuck off._

~-End of Flashback-~

Normal P.O.V

There was an awkward silence between the two Genins, when Sasuke decided to speak up; ''I didn't grope you on…'' He said as Naruto interrupted him; ''Save your breath Ero-Genin. I didn't willingly decide to take care of Kaka-sensei, without a reason.'' How the hell could Sasuke not notice that?

I mean come one. Naruto was only nice when the situation was really extreme, this was just exhaustion… ''What're you planning?'' He hissed as Naruto flashed him a foxy grin.

''I'm going to find out what is hiding under that mask of his.''

''Why do I regret asking? Oh right, the answer will get us both in trouble.'' Sasuke looked at Narutos hand as it was moving towards Kakashis mask. It was moving closer… closer… ''HOLY CRAP!'' He yelled as Naruto jumped when he said so.

''WHAT IS IT!'' She screamed at him.

''He has a boner…'' He informed and pointed at the twitching part of the blanket.

''Oh geez… what is he dreaming about?'' She turned to their senseis face. ''I know what that mask is for now,'' Sasuke looked at her with a questioning look, ''to hide his nosebleeds when he read his fucked up book.''

''You know you're really low.'' Sasuke pointed out and looked at the blonde girl, who was now glaring daggers at him. He just shrugged it off and smirked.

''Well, you have a really weird hairstyle. It looks like a ducks ass.'' She still glared at the boy who was now flushed in anger.

''Dobe, at least my hair isn't in two PIG-tails.'' Naruto gasped dramatically, and stared wide eyed at Sasuke. ''You also… have really b-blue eyes…'' before he realized it, it was too late. He had already said his last sentence, because he was ready to die of embarrassment. ''I… I mean – I saw Inos eyes and… um, they were a pale blue… so I felt like… comparing yours and hers. Yeah… ha…'' _'Smooth Sasuke, smooth… now she'll be all bitchy and bite me or something…' _He thought as he nervously as he breathed a little too fast.

Naruto just stared at him for a brief moment, as she fought down a blush… a strong blush. ''S-Ero-Genin… Which one got prettiest then?'' Naruto inwardly smirked as Sasuke choked on the air. She looked up at him with her sapphire blue huge innocent eyes…

Sasuke felt himself freeze up and he just noticed one thing… they were unusually close. She seemed to notice it too when a hint of pink turned up across her face, that made him smirk the slightest before leaning in closer.

She lifted her face to look directly into his, their lips only an inch away from each other's. ''Naruto… Sasuke…'' Came a singing like voice from below them. Kakashi was finally awake… yippee. ''What're you doing?'' He gave them an eye-smile as they both blushed.

''I'll go tell Tsunami-san that you're awake…'' Naruto muttered as she quickly walked out.

Kakashi sighed, ''At least I have you… ne, Sasuke-kun.'' Kakashi said happily as he looked up at Sasuke, ''so you were about to kiss? You sly dog.'' He giggled perversely.

With Naruto.

Naruto was running down the stairs and into the kitchen, ''um… Tsunami-san, Kakashi-sensei just woke up, Banshee come on.'' Naruto commanded as the three females moved upstairs again.

''How long has he been up?'' Tsunami asked.

''For about… five minutes.'' Naruto replied as she opened the door to the room Kakashi was resting in…

However, the vision they met wasn't the vision they had expected, Sasuke was trying to choke the living daylights out of Kakashi, as said scarecrow struggled to keep himself alive.

''ERO-GENIN YOU IDIOT! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL OUR TICKET TO AWESOMENESS?'' The blond Genin yelled to her fellow ninja, whilst cracking her knuckles threatening.

Sasuke stared at her… did she just pretend nothing had ever happened between them? Yes… yes she did. ''B-But… he was… um…'' He stammered and blushed.

''Sasuke… let go of me.'' Kakashi said in a sing voice.

He let go of his beloved sensei and sat back down, and after a long, long talk that, according to Naruto, took half a year to go through… they figured out that Zabuza was still alive. ''OH YEAH!'' Naruto cheered as everyone looked at her. ''What? Can't I cheer for my future husband? I mean come on, he practically took my punch as if it came from an academy student.'' She grinned.

Sasuke growled lowly. Had she really already forgotten about their… um… what to call it… almost kiss? Whatever she did, it was killing him, badly. _'Damn troublesome – as Shikamaru would call it – woman.' _ He thought and sighed.

''I'll train you and in a week, you'll be stronger.'' Kakashi offered, and Naruto began to sparkle.

In a random forest.

Kakashi stood there with a couple of crutches and an evil smirk under his mask. He was going to work their asses off. ''Okay my cute little students. We're going to teach you guys how to…'' There was a dramatic pause, until he continued, ''climb trees.'' The three Genins face faulted…

''Climb trees? What are you on?'' Naruto commented.

Kakashi sighed, and after a long explanation and a bunch of comments from Naruto… the three Genins were assigned their threes…

''DAMN! What did those trees smoke to get so high?'' Naruto exclaimed looking at the inhumanly high tree.

''Something you didn't.'' Sasuke retorted.

''YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! MY HEIGHT IS PERFECT, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!'' She snapped.

'_Is she PMS'ing?' _Sasuke thought, and almost… ALMOST said it out loud… but decided his life was worthier.

Sasuke just sat there… tightening his bandages, and stared at the blond motor-mouthed girl. _'Naruto…'_ he smiled as she was currently motivating herself, when he heard a sound from above. ''HEY, THIS IS EASY!'' a high pitched voice shrieked. Poor ears… seriously.

Naruto looked up, only to find Sakura sitting on a branch, ''NICE, YOU GO BANSHEE! EVEN THE GEEKS HAVE THEIR DAYS.'' Sasuke smirked at the comment.

''SHUT UP NARUTO, I WAS TALKING TO THE OTHER NOT YOU!'' Sakura once again… shrieked.

Kakashi sighed at his team, ''Good job Sakura. Now you can go back and we'll be here, training.'' He gave her an eye-smile before covering his ears by another shriek from the pink-haired banshee.

''BUT I WANT TO WATCH SASUKE-KUN!''

''Sakura… we're on a mission, go to Tazuna-sans house immediately.'' Kakashi ordered as Sakura got down and left whilst pouting.

Naruto began then to train again. It was easy in her fists but when it was with her feet it didn't really seem like there were any control at all.

Sasuke still had some trouble focusing, when he suddenly remembered… he had to talk to Kakashi. He turned around and walked over to the Jounin, who was staring at him in interest. ''Can I help you Sasuke?'' Kakashi asked amused.

''I have to talk to you… alone… as far away as possible.'' Sasuke muttered glaring at the ground.

''Oki-doki.'' Kakashi giggled like a 14-year old school girl.

When they walked away an okay distance from Naruto, Sasuke muttered something under his breath that Kakashi didn't seem to catch. ''Can you say that just a little bit louder Sasuke?'' His voice still had a tint of amusement. He thought that Sasuke probably were just asking for help in the matter but got surprised when he heard the final words. It was like… it shocked him.

''When do you know… that you are in love with someone?'' Kakashi was going to have fun explaining this one.

* * *

><p>Me: OKAY! I decided to stop here… because I don't know, and need your help. -.-'!<p>

Naruto: *Add – Burst out in Laughter.*

Me: SHUT UP! I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE! Fuck yeah, never even liked someone… .'?

Sasuke: PFFFT!

Me: WHAT'RE YOU DOING YOU FUCKING JERK!

Sasuke: Nothing… *Add – Keeping his Cool Act.*

Me: So anyways… Review and please tell me the syndromes of being in love… I don't want to ask my friends, that is just… fucking embarrassing. They'll misunderstand on purpose. I SWEAR TO THE BIG MAN UP STAIRS, I'M GOING TO KILL THEM SOME DAY!

Naruto: Okay… thank you for reading… hope you liked, please review.


	7. Chapter 6 - Snappy Bitchy Period

**Almost a Female Lifestyle**

Me: He made little boys scream... He made little girls scream... So I made him scream, and scream and scream... with chapter 6…

Naruto: … Spawn?

Me: YES… well he didn't really say it… he wrote it on a corpse of a pedophile… *Add – Toothy Grin.*

Sasuke: You?

Me: I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE! I make little brats cry… not scream… cry.

Kakashi: *Add – Sigh* Author doesn't own a damn shit, not this quote, not these character mentioned in the story… only this plot.

Me: KASHI-KUN *Add – Fan girl squeal…* (I'm a real dork.) Now why I chose not to explain love… the only thing I understood, by you guys' explanation of 'love' was that if you have a funny feeling in the stomach… I formulated that to gas in the stomach… BUT THANKS ANYWAYS – AND KEEP COMING WITH THE REVIEWS, also check out my other fics if you want :3!

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -One-sided; SasufemNaru and femNaruKiba. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin'_ _– Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 6 – Snapping Bitchy Period<p>

''… well, you get a boner every time you think of said loved one.'' Kakashi explained, making Sasuke sweat drop big time. ''But in your case… I think it's just a crush.'' That got him to think.

''Yeah, probably.'' Sasuke walked away from him with just that, as Kakashi stood there smirking under his mask. Sasuke suddenly stopped in track… _'Did I just admit that I have a crush? This is going to be a pain in the ass…'_

He shrugged it off and walked back to Naruto… that was currently trying to get to the top of the tree, but with no such luck. ''Problems, Dobe?'' She fell backwards when she heard his voice, and growled.

''STUPID UCHIHA, ARE YOU ALWAYS SNEAKING UP ON ME, HUH? WELL I GOT A NEWSFLASH FOR YOU, ERO-GENIN! I'M NOT MADE OF AN ASS ONLY! Seriously… I have boobs, ya' know.'' She snapped and then smirked when she saw his blushing face… _'BWUHAHAHA, THAT IDIOT!' _**''Kukuku… you call that boobs?''** Naruto growled at the fox who just laughed in return.

''I'll consider your offer, if you take off those bandages.'' He replied.

''I'll take off these bandages if you take off your pants.'' She still smirked…

''I'll do that, when we're not in a freaking forest.''

''You can curse ya' know. _Freaking_ is not a curse word… it's a kindergarten no-no word. I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO CURSE!'' She proclaimed out of nowhere. ''First of all you have to say; _I'll do that when we're not in a fucked up forest._ Repeat please…'' She waited for him to repeat, but he was lost in thoughts.

'_Wonder what she'll do if I suddenly tell her that those lips can be used to other thinks… Hehe… smirks.' _He actually smirked on the outside.

''Stop that you pervert.''

''Hn? Stop what?'' He smirked at her angry face.

''Fucking asshole, always being such a shit-face… Men don't understand a fuck, all they do is put in, pull out… I would love to see their painful faces when they get a fucking dick up their vagina… men don't have vaginas? Although I'd give anything just to see a man go through childbirth… now that's priceless. They can't handle pain… that's why we do it, and not the other way around.'' She muttered quietly to herself, but he could clearly hear it.

''I get it… let's just train.''

The night was spent like that… training, fighting, cursing… spying on them by a little boy named Inari… _'What's the bother? They'll all get killed in due time.' _He thought as he walked away from the two Genins of team 7 and the two hash trees as Naruto dubbed them.

In Tazunas house next morning…

''Kaka-sensei, I'm worried, they didn't come back last night.'' Sakura said worried.

''Sakura, don't worry about them… they just need to train.'' He replied.

Sakura looked down on her breakfast. She was really worried of course… She rose from her seat, said her thanks for the food, her leaving message and whatsoever and she finally went out of the house. _'Now I just have to find them.'_

The random forest.

Naruto and Sasuke were panting, and glaring at each other… ''Just you wait… I'll win this.'' Naruto took out the kunai attached to her bag… she had gotten a little holster for that kunai from Kakashi… as she got it out she threw it to the top of the tree – Sasuke, who saw this, were not happy – as she transported to the kunai.

''O-Oi! Naruto, you cheater!'' He yelled to her.

''SHUT THE FUCK UP! ALL IS FAIR IN RIVALRY AND WAR!'' She yelled back.

''ALL IS FAIR IN_LOVE _AND WAR!'' He corrected.

''Whatever, you Fucktard.''

Sakura gasped at the sight she was met with, ''Naruto? How did you already get to the top?''

''She's a cheating cheater who cheats, that's how that cheater did.'' Sasuke said brooding.

''I'm a genius… genius who's being a genius, that's how genius I am.'' That didn't sound so intelligent coming from Naruto… but still, what did?

''You guys should get some rest… It's not good for you to do this all night long. Naruto your chakra is weaker than Sasukes, mostly because he's a boy, s you'll drain first.'' Sakura assumed.

'_Hah, I have a hidden supply…' _Naruto smirked, _'that banshee… who does she thinks she is?'_

''NARUTO, GET DOWN NOW!'' Sakura shrieked.

''Hai, hai.'' Naruto muttered as she threw her Hiraishin kunai down again, and teleported to it. ''But…'' This didn't sound good… ''I get to have a pet.''

''You're not having a pet Naruto, idiot.'' She replied.

Naruto growled at Sakura… _'Stupid bitchy banshee, when I want a pet, I get a pet!' _''BANSHEE, DON'T CALL ME AN IDIOT!'' She snapped.

Sasuke sighed at his teammate's antics; gosh he hated to be in a team with just girls… His gaze turned a little down, when he was walking behind his two female teammates, _'Not bad Naruto… not bad.' _He smirked. Guess you could all figure out what he was looking at…

Naruto felt someone watching her, and that _suddenly _reminded her about the baggage walking behind her… ''Enjoying the view, Ero-Genin?'' She heard him choking and coughing on the air, and smirked. _'Idiot.'_

At Tazunas.

''Ah… my cute students are back.'' Kakashi happily gave them an eye-smile.

''Shut the fuck up, scarecrow. AND WHAT'S WITH PEOPLE AND CALLING ME CUTE?'' Naruto yelled out to no one in particularly. Then her gaze shifted to… the food on the table. ''Lady's first!'' She quickly said as she jumped on the food.

They all sweat dropped at her action, but Sasuke was hungry as well… ''What lady?'' He sat down besides Kakashi, as Naruto growled angrily at him.

''You're such a perverted bastard, Ero-Genin.'' Naruto muttered.

''Hn, takes one to know one.'' He smirked.

''Ero-Genin-Teme…'' She glared at him.

''Hn.''

They both stopped their glaring contest, when they heard a choke of sob. They looked at the direction of the sound, and found Inari crying. _'What's his problem?' _Naruto thought as she looked at the boy with a raised eye-brow.

''W-What's the point in this… you're all going to get killed. YOU'LL NEVER WIN AGAINST GATO AND HIS MEN! YOU'LL ALL GET KILLED!'' The kid yelled as he was crying. ''You guys don't know when to give up… you guys don't know the meaning of suffering.''

Naruto glared at the boy in return. ''Shut the fuck up kid. Listen… when you have a damned mountain sized fox inside your belly, that you also share your mind with… then come back and say those exact words.'' She snapped.

Her teammates looked at her in wonder. _'A mountain sized fox? What the hell?' _Sasuke and Sakura thought in unison, as they watched their blond comrade and the eight-year old child argue.

''What are you talking about? There's no such thing as a mountain sized fox. You're all going to die… do you even know how it is to lose somebody close?'' Inari exclaimed as he triggered Sasukes mind to go wild… his bangs were covering his eyes.

''No, I don't… want to know why, kiddo?'' Inari looked up at her, with a questioned look on his face. ''I've never had anyone to loose.'' She smiled at him, as Inari walked away from them. ''Stupid kid, thinking he's the only one in the world who is actually suffering…''

''Inari haven't always been like that… he used to smile so brightly.'' Tazuna announced, making the three Genins and Jounin look at him in wonder. ''That's before his father… the towns hero… died at the hands of Gato. His first victim from this town.'' And a sad story began… touching Genins and Jounin.

''Later fuckers.'' Naruto 'excused' herself, and rose from her seat.

''Naruto, to where are you going?'' Sakura asked, and rose from her seat as well.

''Out to prove that this shit is worth the risk.'' She snapped.

Sasuke looked up at the blond girl. He was currently thinking of Narutos and Inaris argument just a few moments ago. _'Never had anyone to loose… must be… tough?'_ He smiled only slightly, so no one noticed. The front door was slammed shut, when Naruto walked out of the door.

With Naruto

Narutos P.O.V

Stupid kid… KURAMA-KUN, WHY THE HELL WAS YOU SEALED INSIDE ME? **''SHUT UP KIT, I'M TAKING A NAP… and I'm not a mountain sized fox… I'm two mountains high, ya' know.'' **Too bad so sad… you only look like a mountain. **''DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE OVER YOUR BODY?'' **LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY, DICK-HEAD! **''OH IT'S ON!''**

As Kurama was currently irritating me, to actually loose willpower… I was punching a tree without my chakra infected fists. YEAH I CAN YOU NORMAL FISTS TOO, FUCK-FACES! That stupid kid… I've suffered ya' know. When I was five, I had to watch as all the other kids with parents were happy and I WEREN'T! THAT'S SUFFERING! I was… and still am… hated by the villagers… they see me as nothing but the stupid fox. DO THEY EVEN KNOW THAT I HAVE SUPER-STRENGTH? No… they don't. What about Hiraishin? No… still don't. Kage Bunshin? NO, NO AND FUCKING NO! I'VE GOT THREE AWESOME STUFF COMBINED TO ONE SINGLE PERSON –single in more than one way by the way – AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW! I'm awesome and you know it.

So where does that stupid kid get, from calling me a… okay, how to say this… WHERE DOES THAT KID GET FROM SAYING THAT I DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF SUFFERING! Damn shit… damn mission… damn… Sasu… Ero-Genin from being such an ass… I don't know where he came from so don't ask. I MISS KIBA-KUN! Yeah, okay I'm mad at him for actually raping my mouth… but that doesn't mean I hate him. Especially that prank we did on Ero-Genin, just before the second Genin test… WANT TO HEAR IT? Yeah you do…

~-Flashback-~

_It all started when Kiba came over… the day that he… kissed me. The nerve of that bastard…''WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?'' I yelled, when Kiba just said his last words to me, 'ramen'. ''Now I'm hungry you fucking bastard.'' He just laughed at me._

''_I wanted to know what you tasted like. And plus I was going to get the taste of Uchiha out of you.'' He replied, smiling… charmingly… drool… ''So, since I'm your official pranking buddy… want to do a prank on Uchiha?''_

_I smirked. ''What are you planning?''_

''_Well, Uchiha is… what to say… emotionless. I want you to seduce him.'' I choked on my own salvia when he finished that sentence. Seriously, that's his big plan? Seduce him? I do that stuff for a living when I want to get a free dinner. What? I'm not a whore… I'm a seducer… Eh… Hehe…_

''_Fine… I'll do it. BUT JUST TO SEE HIS FACE, WHEN HE FAINTS BY LACK OF BLOOD!'' I laughed evilly, and he joined in on the laughter. ''But you didn't have to kiss me, ya' know.''_

''_I know. You were just being bitchy this morning.''_

''_KEEBLES!''_

''_Don't call me that Naru-chan._

''_Shut the fuck up, you Fucktard, and let's go!'' We finished that meaningless conversation, and walked out the door. ''Should we get Hina-chan in on it too?'' He gave me a weird look. ''What, she's my first lesbian experience… and my best friend.'' I replied, giving him a nasty look._

''_You look hot when you give me that look.''_

''_You said the same thing about me being, sweaty, naked, angry, happy and let's not forget… hungry.'' He once walked in on me when I was going out of the shower… I was so close to shove my Hiraishin kunai up his ass._

''_I'm only stating the truth.''_

''_OI, NARUTO, KIBA.'' A lazy voice called out. We turned our heads, and found Shikamaru, Bimbo and Chouji. GARRGH! I hate Bimbo! She's a damn shit-faced bimbo._

''_Ne, Naruto are you and Kiba going out or something?'' Bimbo teased._

''_EH?'' I blushed heavily, but I still glared at Bimbo. ''Shut the fuck up, Bimbo. We're planning a prank.''_

''_STOP CALLING ME BIMBO, MY NAME IS INO!'' Almost the same, jeez…_

''_Almost the same…'' I said it! NYAHAHA! You want to know what she did afterwards._

''_GARG!'' Yes… she screamed in frustration._

''_So what're you two planning?'' Chouji asked, and I smiled. Chouji was a good guy, kind, loyal and just cute... The girls just don't see him like that. They see him as a fatso. BUT HE IS SO KIND! CHO-CHO, HE'S SO CUTE! I would go out with him, if it was… but I only see him as a friend._

''_We're planning a prank on Uchiha. Naruto here is going to make him faint.'' Keebles answered. ''And if we're lucky… we can get that stick that's 'so far up his ass, that it's messing with his brain'.'' Where have I heard those words before? OH RIGHT, I SAID THOSE EXACT WORDS BEFORE I… kissed Ero-Genin._

''_YEAH! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE HIM REGRET THAT HE RAPED MY MOUTH!'' I exclaimed and pumped a fist to the air… that's also when O remembered that Kiba raped my mouth as well… ''KEEBLES! YOU BASTARD! DON'T YOU DARE THINK THAT I FORGOT THAT YOU RAPED MY MOUTH AS WELL!'' I pointed a guilty finger at him, as my other hand was in a fist._

''_No way, so you ARE going out.'' Bimbo once again teased. I swear I would shove my fist down her throat just to see if she could talk afterwards. ''AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN, PRANKING SASUKE-KUN? I WON'T LET YOU DO SUCH A THING TO SUCH A GREAT GUY!'' she shrieked… I covered my ears in pain. Why did all fan girls have so screeching voices…? I would hate to hear them sing._

''_Keebles, where's Shino and Hina-chan?'' I asked him._

''_They're working on our teamwork.'' He replied._

''_Eh, what about you?''_

''_As I said… they're working on our teamwork.'' He gave me a toothy grin._

_We parted from the three fucktards and went to the training grounds. I predicted Ero-Genin would be there… Don't ask how, I just did. ''He's there…'' I stated… He was currently training with his shurikens. ''And he looks hot all sweaty.'' It was true… say it and I'll kill you all._

''_You think everything looks hot.'' Kiba announced… yeah… I do. ''But get in the game, you look hot, sexy and you can seduce a guy from a mile.'' That just added on my ego… Hehe… Keebles cares about me._

''_Thanks, you look stupid,'' hot… ''idiotic'' sexy as well… ''and can't even get a girl if you tried.'' Take me… I don't care who's watching. _

_He gave me a weird look…_

''_I just meant to encourage you… jeez.'' Oh right… ''Now get out there and do your best, Cutie.'' Oh no he didn't…_

_I did as told; I walked out to Ero-Genin… but not before giving Keebles the bitch-slap… Hehe, he was a red marking on his cheek… BUT ANYWAYS, I walked over to Sasuke. He didn't notice because he was too in to his training. Ero-Genin-Teme… ''Ero-Genin.'' I called out. I could see him jump a little from the shock of me sneaking up on him. Bastard._

''_What do you want?'' He coldly said. I glared for a moment but that disappeared again. I walked closer… ''I said; what do you want?''_

''_What I want?'' I gave him a seductive look, and he just stared at me… bastard. I walked closer to him. By the time I stopped walking, I was already two inches away from his face. ''I'll be asking the questions today, Sasuke-_kun_…'' So my seductive voice came up, and I could see him almost freeze up. I put a hand on his shoulder and turned myself with my front to his back. My face only an inch from his ear as I whispered; ''what do you want?'' I exhaled in his ear, and felt him slightly shivering._

_Kiba looked like he was about to burst out laughing. The nerve of that fucking ass… fucking nice ass… indeed… Blink, blink wink, wink… ''Excuse me?'' He asked, as I smirked._

''_I said… what do you want?'' I turned again, so we were face to face. I wrapped my hands around his neck, and once again… smirked. ''I know what I want.''_

''_Naruto? Are you okay?'' He asked me… and he actually looked worried for me. Cute._

_I pushed him into a tree, not hard, but hard enough to move him. He was now down on the ground after he glided down, in shock that I would actually act like my fucking personality. HA! Stupid Fucktard. But I saw this as an opportunity. I bumped down on his lap… Hehe, I could feel him freeze up. ''What is it… scared of something?'' I asked and he suddenly… fainted?_

_The hell…_

_I'm that good?_

_I took a picture of him 'sleeping', and walked away. Kiba was currently laughing his ass – damn ass – off._

~-End of Flashback-~

And that my friend was the story about how I almost pulled a stick out of Sasukes ass. Key word; almost.

Want to know how I became best friends with Hinata? Yes? Well… too bad so sad, that's for another time.

Normal P.O.V

Next day.

''She didn't come home.'' Sakura said as he stated the obvious. ''Maybe we should look for her, and make sure she didn't ruin the whole country.'' Of course she wouldn't do that… would she?

''I'm not doing it.'' Sasuke bluntly said. Kakashi gave him a look. ''What? She's being a bitch.'' A hard glare from Kakashi was visible… ''She keeps snapping at me.'' Sasuke kept defending himself, as Sakura giggled.

''Maybe it's her time of the month.'' She suggested.

''Fine… I'll look for her.'' Sasuke rose from his seat and walked out to the forest.

With Naruto.

A boy - looking like a girl - was collecting some herbs for medical reasons, when he suddenly saw a sleeping blond. _'Okay…' _He thought. He walked over to the blond, and noticed her Hitai-Ate… Konohagakure?

His hands closed in on her throat… but when he heard her mummer something in her sleep he didn't do it. ''Mm, I love… right here… sealed…'' He decided to just shake her awake.

''Oi, Kunoichi-san… you could catch a cold if you sleep outside like this.'' He kept shaking her.

''H-Huh?'' She muttered. _'Damn… that's some hot chick.'_ She looked like that she was wondering about that thought… _'I'm really going lesbian soon, if I keep eyeing girls.'_ ''Who're you?''

''I am Haku, what about you Kunoichi-san?'' He smiled kindly at her.

''Uzumaki Naruto, at your service.'' She replied.

''Great… I could use some assistance.''

And after what seemed like hours of herb picking… they finished. Naruto sighed heavily as she looked noticing at the 'girl'. ''How come you have an Adams Able?'' She suspiciously asked.

Haku rose, from his seat on the ground and moved over to the other side of the herb things. ''Because I'm a boy.'' The world was crushing under Naruto at that point… ''But don't worry. You're not the only one who's been confusing me with a girl.'' He gave her a smile.

''Thank god.''

''Now… I have to ask. What _are _you doing in the forest.'' He asked.

''Training.'' A blunt answer… yes.

''Hm, why are you training?''

''To become stronger.''

''Why? You already look strong enough.''

''So I can protect my precious… and become Hokage… and get a family… and protect my future family.''

''That's a lot of reasons.''

''Yeah… of course I'm going on one at the time.''

''Oh, sensible. I got something to tell you that would probably help you.''

''What is it?''

''When a person is protecting a precious person, they will become truly strong.''

Narutos mind began to go wild… that was kind of… true?

''Thank you for helping me collecting herbs…''

''You're welcome. Thank you for the advice.''

''You're welcome.''

After Haku disappeared out of sight, a blue blur came into the picture. ''Who was that?'' The blue blur asked.

''Hello to you too, fucking pervert.'' She narrowed her eyes at the person.

''Who was it?''

''Just some boy… really hot too. I would totally date him.'' She flashed Sasuke a foxy grin.

For some reason unknown to… Naruto only, but she didn't know… Sasuke felt a certain anger growing within him.

_'Crap I think I just got my period...' _Naruto lastly thought, as she and Sasuke walked away.

* * *

><p>Me: OH MY GOSH! I'M DONE! Now to a little message… I'm not going to post anything for a while… why? Because my friends are coming to sleep at my place, and it would just be rude to write this in front of them. They'll be at my home for a week or so… so live with ten pages here.<p>

Naruto: I will survive…

Me: THE REVOLUTION... ACK!

Sasuke: SHUT UP!

Kakashi: Hehe… review please…


	8. Chapter 7 - The Fucking Hell Pervert

**Almost a female lifestyle**

Me: All right, you freaks — just hold it! If you really want to tangle with someone — why not try your luck against — chapter 7!

Naruto: … um… that was like, really, really weird…

Sasuke: What the hell was that?

Me: Wolverine comic… the incredible Hulk volume 1… #180?

Sasuke: Freak.

Naruto: Geek.

Me: *Add – Cry…* I don't own these mean characters…

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -One-sided; SasufemNaru and femNaruKiba. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin'_ _– Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 7 – The Fucking Hell Pervert<p>

It's been a week already, and two of our main characters had finally completed the tree exercise. ''That was… damn fucking exhausting.'' Naruto moaned, as she tried to get her bottle of water.

''Take mine with you, Dobe.'' Sasuke groaned.

''Go get your own fucking bottle.'' Naruto took a slurp of the delicious cold water… ''Ah…'' she sighed in happiness over the kaminess of the bottle with water. ''If it helps… you look hot all sweaty Ero-Genin.'' She complimented.

''Eh… didn't help, still thirsty. You look like a nice bottle of water.'' He replied, smirking at her statement.

''Get your own fucking nice bottle of water.'' She childishly stuck out her tongue towards him.

''That tongue… you could use it for so much more, but you pick to use it to irritate me.''

''Yeah… pretty much.'' She went to pick Sasukes bottle up and threw it at him.

''Didn't you just say that I should get my own?''

''Yeah, but I decided I wanted to be nice, because I can.'' She flashed him a foxy like smile.

''Dobe…''

''Ero-Genin…''

''About that… can't you give me a better nickname, seriously. I call you Dobe and Naru-chan; you just call me pervert and Ero-Genin. What happens when I become Chunin?''

''Ero-Chunin.'' The foxy smile widened. ''I guess I can give you a new nickname… SASU-CHAN!'' Sparkles flew out of Naruto as she mentioned his new nickname with so much hope.

''Fuck you, Dobe.''

At Tazunas house.

''Shouldn't they be here by now K…'' Sakura didn't get to finish when she heard two noises from outside.

''I'm telling you 'Sasu-chan' is perfect!'' A female voice said happily.

''And I'm telling you to shut up!'' A male voice replied.

They opened the door, only to reveal Sasuke and Naruto. ''Ne, Sasu-chan… tonight we get to sleep in an actual beds!'' They had spent all week outside in that forest training, and in this house eating. Of course they would be happy to sleep in a bed… and inside.

''Dobe, stop calling me that.'' Sasuke growled.

''Ne, Banshee… don't you think Sasu-chan is so cute when he growls.'' The two girls giggled in unison. It was pissing Sasuke off… enough for him to walk over his sensei only to glare at him.

''Can I help you...'' Kakashi started, ''Sasu-chan?'' He gave Sasuke an eye-smile as the two girls giggled louder.

''I want another team.'' Sasuke hissed. ''Somewhere without girls!''

''Hm… What about I'll switch you with Kiba from team 8? You get to be with the Hyuga girl and Aburame boy. They don't like jokes.'' Kakashi offered.

'_Kiba…?' _Sasukes eyes darkened… _'NO WAY IN HELL! I don't even want to know what he could do Naru-chan, if he became a member of this team.'_ ''NO WAY IN HELL!'' He yelled, glaring at his sensei that was currently giving him the eye-smile again.

''What, afraid he'll do something perverted towards Banshee and I?'' Naruto joked, but when she saw Sasukes face… well, it wiped that grin from her face. ''NO WAY! YOU THINK I'M A FUCKING WHORE? NEWSFLASH FOR YOU FUCKTARD, I'M NO WHORE!'' She snapped.

''T-That's not what I meant…'' Sasuke defended.

''OH YEAH? FUCK YOU!'' She walked upstairs.

''O-OI! WE WEREN'T DONE YET!'' No reply… ''UZUMAKI NARUTO!'' He ran upstairs after her.

Next day occurred and Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were really tired…

''Why do we have to be up at FUCKING THREE AM DAMN IT! Stupid fucked up scarecrow never heard of shutting up when he sleeps.'' Naruto complained.

''Naruto quit complaining, and do something about his snoring! We have to go to the bridge tomorrow.'' Sakura demanded.

''My do I have to do it? Why can't Sasu-chan? He's the prodigy in the group.''

''As much as I love being praised, I have to agree with Sakura on this. Naruto do something!'' Sasuke claimed.

''FINE!''

A loud snoring interrupted the three ninjas in their progress of shutting up their sensei. ''I'll appreciate that you stop talking bad about my snoring habits… go sleep in another room.'' They sweat dropped.

''Why didn't we fucking think of something that damn easy to figure out?'' Naruto asked.

Morning 7 AM.

Narutos P.O.V

''Naruto, wake up. We're going to the bridge.'' That was the first shriek I heard this morning… and the last if that Banshee don't shut up. Stupid sensei and his stupid snoring. I had to share room with Banshee. Sasu-chan is so lucky… he got to have his own room. STUPID ERO-GENIN-TEME!

''I'm up; I'm up… gee, why don't you just fucking jump on me instead? That'll be less painful than that stupid voice of yours.'' YOU JUST GOT BURNED! WUHU! I know… I'm crazy… but I really hate her…

''Get dressed we have to leave soon.'' Did she just shrug it off? I'LL KILL HER!

''Hai, hai.'' I replied as I stripped down to… nothing as I unfolded a towel to get ready to take a bath. I went over to take my clothes with me to the bathroom when…

''Are you go-'' I heard Sasu-chans voice trail off and jumped up.

''ERO-GENIN YOU PERVERT! GET THE FUCK OUT!'' I shouted angrily. Fucking pervert always coming in at the wrong time.

''Sorry…'' He muttered. He closed the door behind him as he was out of the room. STUPID ERO-GENIN AND HIS PERVERTED MIND! A GIRL HAS THE RIGHT OF A PRIVATE LIFE! Stupid pervert.

And as done… I took a shower, got dressed and met the others down stairs. ''Shouldn't one of us stay here if something happened to the kid and Tsunami-san?'' I asked. WHAT? I CAN BE LOGICAL!

''That's why we will leave your Hiraishin kunai here… if anything happens at the bridge, you can Hiraishin over here and see if everything is okay.'' Scarecrow-sensei answered.

''But I only have one. What if I have to go back?''

''Can't you write down the seals?'' Sasu-chan stupidly asked.

''No… I'm not a Fuinjutsu master… yet.'' I smirked. Okay… people I think is hot all sweaty is; Kiba, Sasu-chan, Kaka-sensei and Shino. I know, Shino 'THE HELL', but he is really hot all sweaty. I just thought that I should tell you that…

Kaka-sensei sighed, are you bored sensei? ''Then do a Kage Bunshin…''

''Do it yourself, if you are 'oh so smart' scarecrow.'' I growled.

And once again, he sighed. Stupid scarecrow. ''I meant the kunai, not yourself.'' Oh… I can do that. Yeah. What's the hard part, I do it all the time. I leave the Bunshin here, and take the real with me. YEAH! I'M A GENIUS!

''I HAVE AN IDEA! I'll clone my kunai, put the fake here and take the real with me!'' I cheered! BWUAHAHAHA! LOOK AT THEIR FACES THEY ARE LIKE… TOTALLY DUMBFOUNDED.

''Alright… do it.'' And so I did.

To make a long story short… we walked to the bridge, found the workers knocked down and me celebrating about that we were now standing in front of my future husband. Momochi Zabuza… KYAAAA! He looks even hotter today… Oh my Kami, I'm a fan girl…

''KYAA! ZABUZA-KUN!'' I squealed… Don't judge me… I think I'm in love and… did Sasu-chans glare just harden?

My teammates just turned to me and sweat dropped, as I looked at Zabuza-kun in admiration… I had hearts coming out of my eyes. THE HELL IS GOING ON?

''You can get the Genins, I'll take Hatake Kakashi.'' Zabuza-sama demanded. YES EXACTLY, I WANT TO BE IN THAT BOYS PLACE, I bet he's Zabuzas bitch! Think of the wonders there would be… OH MY KAMI-SAMAAA!

Fuck, I'm a fan-fucker…

''Hn, Naruto you ready?'' I heard the pervert ask.

''Yeah… I'm ready, Ero-Genin.''

Normal P.O.V

Naruto and Sasuke ran to their opponent, but to their surprise he was fast. ''Hn, we didn't go through some stupid exercise, only to be…'' He looked behind him… ''Naruto? Where the hell did she go? Did she just ditch me?'' Sasuke said annoyed.

''Sasuke… she took over to Inari-chan and Tsunami-san to check if they are okay. She'll be back any minute now.'' Kakashi reassured.

And so their fight began.

With Naruto.

'_I hate running away from a fight… but I have to check on the brat and his mother.' _She kept convince herself. _'Maybe I can leave the brat, and save his mother… one more pest down then. Oh fuck it; I'm just going to save the brat too.'_

She teleported to the kunai that they had sat up in two wires from wall to wall in the kitchen. ''IRANI, DON'T!'' A women called from outside. Naruto ran in the direction of the sound and she glared at the two men who had Tsunami tied up.

''OI! FUCK-FACE AND SHIT-FACE! LET TSUNAMI-SAN GO, OR I'LL PERSONALLY KICK YOUR FUCKING ASSES!'' She threatened as the two samurais-wannabes looked at her with a glare and smirk.

''What do you say that we kill the girl?'' One of them said.

''Fine… you do it, I'll kill the kid.'' The other replied.

Naruto jumped to the air and crossed her hands into a seal, **''KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!''** She yelled out as three clones came to sight. All four Narutos attacked the two with a barrage of punches. Of course she won and the two samurais-wannabes were tied up to the docks log. Yes, they were dangling of the water.

''Inari, I need you to take care of these dudes.'' She demanded, as she threw a kunai in front of him. ''Now take care of your mother too, and be the hero your father was.'' She sent him a wink, as he blushed and smiled back.

''Thank you, Naruto-nee-chan!'' He yelled, and Naruto disappeared in a yellow flash.

With team 7 at the bridge.

Naruto just arrived to see the mist, an igloo, as she called it and… nothing else. ''OI!'' She called out.

''NARUTO?'' A female voice called back.

''BANSHEE?''

''GO HELP SASUKE-KUN, HE'S IN THE ICE THING!''

Naruto looked at the igloo and narrowed her eyes. _'Maybe he still has the seal on his back.'_ Naruto had put a seal on Sasukes back without him noticing, before she left the bridge to save Tsunami and Inari. She teleported to the inside of the igloo, and was now standing in front of Sasuke who has wide eyes.

''Naruto?'' He was filled with disbelief that she would be such an idiot to go inside the igloo. ''What the hell are you doing? You could've fought from the outside!''

''Why would I fight from the outside?'' She asked.

''I'll say it slowly,'' he started, ''big ice thingy, dangerous. No-no place.''

''Oh… too bad so sad, I'm already here.''

''Naruto you have to get out!''

''HUH? I'm not leaving you in here.''

''Naruto listen to me! Get out of this place now! Throw your Hiraishin kunai, and get out!''

''WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING LEAVE YOU?''

He grabbed her shoulders, standing face to face with her. ''Naruto… if anything happen to you…'' he trailed off, as he stared at her.

''… wouldn't be able to live with yourself?'' she continued with a smirk that quickly got whipped off, when she saw his face. It was all serious with a hint of pink on his cheeks. ''N-…''

''Shut up and get out.'' He hissed.

A barrage of senbons interfered and Narutos eyes widened at the sight in front of her. Sasuke had used himself as a shell to cover her from the senbons. ''I said…'' he coughed, ''… get out, Naruto.'' He whispered.

''S-Sasuke…'' She was clearly scared of what just happened here.

''GET OUT, I…'' Another cough interrupted him and he fell in to her arms, ''… go…''

''Sasuke… why?''

''I… don't know how things ended this way… but I'm glad you're t-the last person I'm g-going to see…'' His eyes slowly closed, and hers widened.

''Sasuke…?'' No reply. ''SASUKE!'' His name echoed out to the others on the bridge.

With Sakura and Tazuna.

''SASUKE!'' They heard a loud scream.

'_Sasuke-kun…?'_ Sakura thought worried. _'What happened to them?'_ Suddenly a large burst of a weird chakra came to the world. _'W-what is this? This… this chakra… it's so strong!'_

With Kakashi and Zabuza.

Kakashis eyes widened, _'this chakra… is it Zabuza? No… this is… Kyuubi?'_ He thought deeply.

'_Kakashi… what the hell is this kind of chakra? It's not Kakashis… it's too… dark to be his.' _Zabuza thought.

With Naruto, Sasuke and Haku.

''DAMN YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!'' A dark voice yelled. A red chakra was glowing out of Naruto. _'Kurama, power up! I want to make this bastard suffer!'_

''**Kit, relax. This should be enough.''**

''You won't be able to survive this… I hate you…'' Narutos eyes were glowing red, as the Kiri hunter Nin mask fell from the boy. Her eyes widened and she stopped in her own track. ''Y-You are… that boy from the forest…'' She stuttered in surprise.

''I killed your precious friend… yet you can't kill me.'' Haku coolly said.

Naruto looked behind and saw a senbons filled Sasuke lying on the ground of the bridge. She looked back at Haku with a glare and punched him with a non-chakra infected fist. ''DAMN IT-!'' She yelled out, when she punched him.

He gasped blood up. ''What happened to your intensity? You can't kill me with that.'' Haku said. ''I want you to kill me.''

''What…?'' Naruto whispered in disbelief.

''I want you to kill me. I am merely a tool. A broken tool to be specific now.'' He closed his eyes. ''Zabuza-sama saved me… from my loneliness… from a world with no meaning, to a world full of meaning. I owe him everything… but now I'm broken. Please kill me, and save me from my consciousness.''

''I-I… I'm not…'' She stuttered, _'fuck, Hottie wants me to kill him. FUCK THIS STUPID SHIT! But Sasuke… he… likes me, I think… liked me.'_ She took a deep breath and exhaled. ''I want to hear your story.''

Haku looked at her in doubt, but smiled as he began telling his story. At the end of his story, he cried and she looked at him with wide eyes. ''You see… Zabuza-sama gave me a meaning to live. And therefore I ask you to kill me. My meaning in life is gone… it vanished… in one day. Kill me.''

''The fuck… I'm not going to kill you over such a stupid th-'' a chipping sound interfered in Narutos speech, as Hakus eyes widened and he disappeared in a swirl of leaves. ''H-Haku?''

The mist cleared and in front of her stood more than three objects… six of them dogs, three of them humans. Two of the humans were attached in a way. ''No…'' She whispered when she saw Kakashis arm in Hakus heart. He was dead.

It was like time just stood still, until; ''Naruto? Then where's Sasuke-kun?'' Sakura asked a little too happy. In respond, Naruto turned her head, and Sakura got worried.

''KAKASHI, THIS IS NO TIME FOR SIGHTSEEING!'' Zabuza yelled.

As they fought, Tazuna and Sakura ran passed Naruto and over to Sasuke. _'I'm so sorry, Sakura…'_ Naruto thought. Sakuras cry filled the air, and to be honest… it hurt Naruto.

''Oh… you're getting your ass kicked. How disappointing.'' A voice appeared. ''Zabuza…'' It was Gato and his men.

With Sakura, Tazuna and Sasuke.

'_Why is he dead? He didn't have to be dead! Why didn't they ask me for help? Am I just a burden to them? SASUKE-KUN! PLEASE WAKE UP FOR ME!'_ As Sakura kept on thinking about Sasukes awakening, Zabuza was currently fighting Gatos men.

With Naruto, Kakashi, Zabuza, Gato and his men.

'_Zabuza… Oh my Kami…'_ Naruto thought as she saw her self-proclaimed future husband fighting his dying battle. _'You look so… damn good. Now is not the time…'_

To make a long story short… Zabuza died in the battle against Gato, Gato died too and it became a tie. Gatos men were mad and decided to attack them, but were stopped by the rebellion of the Wave. Sasuke came back to life 'mysteriously', and they were now all back at Tazunas place.

Sasuke was resting in the guestroom. He kept worrying about Narutos reaction about his… he couldn't even think of the word anymore. Just as he thought about Naruto, she actually came in. ''Pervert?'' He would have yelled in frustration by now, but he was used to it.

''Naru-chan…'' He whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

''I came here to talk to you, dick-head.''

''I see… why am I a dick-head again?''

''Because you're fucking stupid for taking the blow. Stupid fucked up shit-head.''

''Hm… anything else you wanted to talk about?'' He sounded nervous. That wasn't like him. Naruto sat down beside his bed and began talking:

''You have a crush on me?'' Her tone was too blunt!

''Um… yeah, kind of…''

''Kind of? Is that a yes or no?''

''It's a yes, now just answer it…''

''Like you saving my life is going to make me fall hopelessly in love with you.''

''I was hoping more of a; 'yeah I like ya' too'. But your word choice isn't bad either… that just mean I have a shot.'' He smirked.

''You just love competitions right?''

''Yeah… do I at least get a kiss for saving your life?'' He raised an eyebrow and his smirk only widened at her small blush.

''Fine…'' She sighed in defeat. She bended over him and gave him a kiss on the lips. Both their eyes closed and Sasukes hands made their way to her hips. Before they even noticed their innocent little kiss turned out to be a passionate kiss instead.

They broke apart to breathe and Naruto instantly stood up. ''Who knows, Ero-Genin… maybe I'll come to crushing on you one day.''

''I'm going to court you no matter what you say, so you better start crushing on me.'' He smirked.

''Ero-Genin-Teme.'' She whined.

The next day.

The next day they left Wave to get home. The bridge was named 'The Great Zabuza Bridge', after the man that killed Gato. Their hero.

'_Can't believe my future husband is dead…'_ Naruto brooded.

* * *

><p>Me: I'm done… FINALLY!<p>

Naruto: Yeah so?

Me: I'm happy, fuck-face.

Naruto: Don't care… review yadda, yadda…


	9. Chapter 8 - Onbaa Oversized Shit

**Almost a female lifestyle**

Me: What was it that John Lennon said? 'Chapter 8 is the flower you've got to let grow.' Let it grow already, and quit trying to legislate it!

Naruto: I didn't know you like Wonder Woman…

Me: I don't really that much but… This is a filler episode from the Anime, which I have put together with the meeting with the sand siblings…

Naruto: Why?

Me: Because I was watching some episodes of Naruto, and decided to write about episode 185. **THE LEGENDARY KONOHA ONBAA EXISTED!**

Sasuke: I'm not in that episode…

Me: No… BUT I WROTE YOU IN IT 8DDD! This is… a fan fiction, remember? Anyways… I updated today because of my B-DAY… tomorrow. xD!

Sasuke: Stupid Author doesn't own a damn shit!

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -One-sided; SasufemNaru and femNaruKiba. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin'_ _– Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu/ONBAA!**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 8 – Onbaa Oversized Shit<p>

In darkest shadows was a living legend… a full adult Ombaa… An eagle suddenly came down to where it lived; it took an object… something that looked like a baby Ombaa. **''ONBAA!'' **The full adult Ombaa yelled as the eagle took off with the baby.

**In another location…**

Narutos P.O.V

Uzumaki Naruto, the sadistic girl… me, NYAHAHAHA, was training outside the village. ''HARG!'' My warrior screams ran throughout the forest I was in, when I suddenly heard a sound from above… I threw a kunai upwards. It almost hit the target but the target lost grip of the object in its claws, and it accidently landed on your favorite blond sadist… me.

''EW, DID THAT FUCKING EAGLE SHIT ON ME?'' I yelled out to the world… ''Hm… maybe not.'' I sighed in exhaustions… ''Better get back to Konoha.'' I then ran towards my home…

**In Konoha… **when I was walking down through the village… I didn't really expect that everybody was staring at me. _'What's wrong with these shitheads? Take a picture fuck asses, it'll last longer. Fucking shit-faces thinks they own this village… What? Don't they have a fucking life to return to, HUH? I'LL KILL THEM… Hehe… I so, want to become an I&T worker. Awesome…' _I smirked as she turned a corner.

''NARU-CHAN, CUTIE!'' Kiba yelled out, for me to hear.

''What do you want Fucktard?'' I replied looking annoyed at his face… Fucking bastard, he's always thinking he can get away with calling me Naru-chan AND Cutie… I'LL KILL HIM! And what is Akamaru doing…

He barked at me, and I glared at the poor fucking mutt. ''Kiba, get Akamaru under control will ya'?''

''He says you smell…'' Kiba sniffed to me, and I glared harder, fucking Fucktard. ''Oh yeah… you smell.''

Okay… so I snapped… ''WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING A GIRL KIBA, YOU FUCKING MORON!''

''What did he tell you?'' Oh great… the pink banshee.

''That I smell. Can you believe him Banshee? Not even Ero-Genin would say that to me… although he knows of the consequences… '' I muttered the last part and looked up. When I looked at them, they weren't looking at me… but behind me.

''Ahem… I wouldn't say what? And what the hell is on your back?'' I turned around at the sound of Sas… Ero-Genin.

''ERO-GENIN… What are you doing here? Secretly staring at my butt again? Geez, you pervert.'' When I saw his face was all annoyed I fucking smirked in victory. No one… and I'm telling you… no one could ever win against the great UZUMAKI NARUTO! NYAHAHAHAHA! **''Don't get cocky kit.'' **Stupid Kurama always ruining the fun.

''What is on your back? And I weren't looking at your butt.'' He sighed as he looked at Kiba and Banshee… I think. I turned around, and their faces were gaping… and slightly pale.

''Close your mouths, and what are you talking about?''

''**Onbu…''** I heard a voice from behind. I turned my head only to find a cute little creature sitting on my back…

''KAWAII!'' I yelled with sparkles in my eyes. My comrades just stared dumbfounded on me. What the hell? Never seen me being all sweet? Well fuck you, you fucking assholes.

I could see that Ero-Genin, Banshee, Kiba and Akamaru just stared wide-eyed at the poor thing… IT IS SO ADORABLE! ''Naru-chan… I think we'll have to go to the Hokage for a moment or two…'' OH HELL NO! ERO-GENIN CALLED ME NARU-CHAN AGAIN… He's been doing it ever since he heard that I hate it…

''Okay so… you flip when I call you Naru-chan, but you actually _think_ when Sasuke call you by the name? What has the world come to? Do I have to kiss you again?'' Kiba complained… or happily suggested I don't know… just do it and you might get a respond… Hehe smirks.

And that's what I did… I smirked. Ever since Wave, I've been so much less… happy. MY FUTURE HUSBAND DIED, SASUKE ADMITTED A CRUSH! And for the funniest part… I have forgotten all about the pest on my back… Did I just call the pervert for his name?

''Oi… Naru-chan? Are you thinking about it? Don't answer if you want me to kiss you.'' No responds to Kibas comment. ''ALRIGHT!''

Of course I heard it… I was just too deep in thoughts to care. Now let's see how Ero-Genin will react. ''HELL NO!'' A dark cloud formed around the person who yelled that out… possessive pervert and we're not even together… yet. I mean come on! I could him!

''What's your problem Uchiha?'' Kiba growled in annoyance.

''You! Stay away from her… I'll kill you and every last Inuzuka alive…'' The dark cloud suddenly became killer intent.

''Dude, it's not like I would have done it.'' Wait, what? ''She stinks like hell.'' FUCK YOU KIBA!

''Go fuck yourself Kiba! Well… we have to get to Hokage-Jiji.'' And after a super awesome superhero line break, scene shift… we were at the Hokage tower.

''HOKAGE-JIJI!'' I yelled as I kicked the door open… or off…

''NARUTO, DON'T GO AROUND AND KICK THE DOORS OFF!'' Banshee yelled… stupid banshee and her fucktardness…

''What do you want, Naru-chan?'' Hokage-Jiji asked.

''I WANT ANSWERS!''

''I've already told you… I can't tell you about your parents. Wait till you get older.'' I scowled… it wasn't about my parents… but I'll hold you to your promise Jiji. NYUAHAHAHAHA!

''IT'S NOT ABOUT MY PARENTS! IT'S ABOUT THIS!'' I turned around and heard his pipe fall out from his mouth.

''T-That's… that's an Onbaa…''

''**Onbu.''** The little pest on my back cutely said.

''KYAAA! GET THE PEST OF OFF ME!'' I screamed… I know I said it was cute before… but when you look clearly at it… it's just a pest! I DON'T WANT IT!

''Naru-chan, chill will ya'?'' I glared at Kiba for saying that. HOW WOULD HE FEEL ABOUT THIS?

''Kiba-kun… help little o' me…'' I cutely said. I was close to vomiting over my own words, but decided against it. I looked up at him with those stupidly cute puppy eyes that no one could resist, and pursed my lips in a pouting mode. And it worked…

''I'll help you Naru-chan…'' He proclaimed, and I shined in happiness… until I felt a couple of hands on my boobs… how close were I standing to Kiba? Anyway, I freaked.

''KIBA!'' I yelled out in anger, and he looked confused, until I punched him in the face. ''YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN SASU-CHAN! YOU GROPED ME IN THIS SITUATION?'' He still looked confused, but this time with a pained face.

''I-I… I didn't do anything…'' He stuttered.

I felt a couple of hands again, and looked down. It was the pest… ''Oh… sorry Kiba…'' I said and turned to Hokage-Jiji. ''What the hell is an Onbaa?'' I questioned.

He sighed and coughed. I guessed he was about to give us a lecture… ''A long time ago, I had a Genin team as well,'' really long time ago then. I know that… don't I? ''that Genin team had a boy on it named Jiraya. He decided to go prove to people that the Onbaa legend existed. Let me just find his report…'' He went looking for some paper. ''Ah here it is…'' What a lame report. ''_Onbaa can get up to 3-5 meters high, when newborn they sit on their mothers bags until they can take care of themselves._ Something about wrestling too…'' He sighed. ''Jiraya…''

''So… I have to live with the pest until it can take care of itself?'' I asked, and he nodded in respond. ''GAAARG! I CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN! WHAT ABOUT WHEN I HAVE TO TAKE A BATH? IS THE PEST GOING TO WATCH? What if it's a boy…?'' I snapped.

''Naruto, you'll just have to live with it.'' Banshee said. I'll kill ya', stupid Banshee.

''Um… Naru-chan, I don't think you'll be able to take off your clothes…'' Sasu-chan smirked… Stupid bitch… eh, stupid male dog… what the fuck that's called…

''I bet you would love it, wouldn't you, pervert?'' He nodded in respond, and I glared.

''Cutie, come on… you promised me before your big mission that you would go on a date with me…'' Kiba sulked. Yeah… I did promise him that…

~-Flashback-~

_I was on my way home to pack for Wave, when I suddenly bombed into some stinky dude. I looked up and found none other than Kiba. I glared at him. ''Kiba… watch where you're walking!'' I scolded._

''_CUTIE, where you going?'' He asked._

''_Home to pack for our first C-rank mission!'' I bragged, and flashed him a foxy smile._

''_Cool, we're still stuck on D-ranks…'' He brooded. ''Hey, when you come home, let's go for some ramen together.'' He sounded hesitantly. But I couldn't just stand there and say nothing like a bitch, right?_

''_Are you asking me out on a date?'' I asked._

''_Yeah, pretty much.'' He bluntly answered._

''_Sure, why not. Got to go… meeting sensei in a half an hour…'' and I walked away… WHAT A CUTE LOVE STORY! Fuck you Kiba... I have to waste time on you now._

~-End of Flashback-~

''Right… come on. I'll take care of the leech, Hokage-Jiji.'' I said, and walked out with Kiba. Sakura and Sasuke were told to stay for a moment… I didn't know why, so I just shrugged it off, and got a move on.

''COME ON! I can't wait… I'm really hungry. Akamaru and I have been training all morning together, right Akamaru?'' Akamaru barked in agreement.

''Don't get too excited. I got a parasite on my bag, and now I have to go on a date… You're paying right?''

''With that never-ending stomach of yours… how could I? I'm no rich guy. If you want a rich guy, you'll be with Sasuke. But you know him… he would never date you.'' Stupid Fucktard… Ero-Genin happens to like me.

''He happens to like me, bastard.'' He looked at me in wonder, and I shot him a glare. ''He admitted it in Wave. We were fighting Momochi Zabuza, and his hot slave, Haku. I cried at the end of the match… Zabuza… he died…'' I sobbed. ''I didn't even get to know him… I'm never going to love again…''

''You love him?''

''He was my future husband… he took my chakra punch as an academy punch…''

''That's no reason for loving him… I could do that too ya' know.''

No you couldn't… ''No you couldn't.''

We arrived at Ichiraku's when that was said, and went inside to sit down. ''I'll star with two miso ramen, old man.''

''Three beef, Oji-chan.'' Kiba hotly, said… Damn him and his hotness. We ate our food and I noticed something off… the leech had become awfully quiet. I looked at it and noticed the eyes on it. They were spiraling…? I looked down on my ramen, and noticed it was looking at my narutos.

''Old man, a bowl of narutos please.'' I said happily.

''What are you going to call it? Not something stupid like 'ramen', are you?'' I glared at Kiba.

''**Onbu…''** AWWW! FUCKING CUTE!

''I'll call it Onbu. Fucking cute.'' I smiled.

The days went, and Onbu became bigger and bigger. I was called to the Hokages office to talk to Jiji. ''Naru-chan… you're going to have to get rid of Onbu.'' He demanded. GET RID OF ONBU? ONBUS NO PARASITE… shut up…

''Get rid of Onbu? Have you gone senile, Jiji?'' I angrily hissed.

Hokage-Jiji sighed and shoved me some papers. ''This is a mission. You will be out of the village until you get rid of Onbu, the council's words, not mine.'' I gaped at his statement. ''Naru-chan… I'm sorry…'' Don't you Naru-chan me old man! ''but Onbu has to go. You can bring someone who wants to go with you or something…''

''FUCK YOU OLD MAN!'' I yelled and slammed the door shot. ''You see how angry I am? I forgot to leave the fucking room!'' Then I left the Kami damn room.

As I walked out, I saw Sasu-chan. ''SASU-CHAN!'' He turned to me, and… I think it's a smirk… ''You have to help me… Hokage-Jiji wants me to get rid of Onbu.'' **''Onbu…''**

''Why would I help you?'' He coolly asked.

Damn him… that's just minus point! He'll never get my love that way. ''Because I'll be owing you a favor.'' I smirked when that caught his attention.

''I'll help… but…'' Oh no… ''we will leave the village, until the Onbaa grows up. That way, you'll be with Onbu a while longer.'' HOW THE HELL SHOULD THAT HELP! ''You can't take care of Onbu, forever, right?'' Oh… right.

''Whatever… WAIT! What do you 'we' will leave the village.''

''You and I, us, they, as in a majority…'' Stupid Ero-Genin-Teme…

''Oh… you just want to spent so much time with me, don't you Ero-Genin-Teme.''

''Don't flatter yourself.''

''I'm not… you flattered me when you admitted your crush.''

''Shut up, Dobe.''

''Aw, minus point.''

''What?''

''You're on -6 points now. I wonder how long it will take you to come up on +10 points.''

''I have to get up on +10, for you to like me?''

''Yeah.''

''Challenge accepted, Naru-chan.''

''-7.''

''What?''

''I hate that name…''

''No reason for giving me a minus point.''

''-8.''

''… I'll just shut up now.''

''-7.''

He smiled… YEAH! THE UCHIHA SASUKE… GAVE ME, UZUMAKI NARUTO… A SMILE! How adorable… seriously, he looks adorable when he smiles. I wonder how Hinata-chan would be like with his attitude… OH MY KAMI! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD! I giggled slightly. You got to love my life, sometimes…

''Alright, let's get going.'' I said.

''Hn, shouldn't you be taking a bath first, you…'' he trailed off when he realized what he was saying, I think… ''I mean… let's get going…''

''Idiot.''

''Hn, I like you too.'' Sasu-chan admitted, again! FUCK YOU!

''Let's just get going!'' And so we did.

To make a long story short… Ero-Genin and I walked out of the village, came back again, after we fought some bandits, talked a lot, met Onbus mother, fought Onbus mother… after leaving Onbu to its mother, and after talking a lot once again.

One of our conversations was really awkward too… We were arguing about whether or not to make out… I was in the mood, but he just shrugged me off. And that comes from a guy who supposedly had a crush on me…

''That took too long!'' Naruto complained.

''What… you missed Konoha?''

''I missed Konoha… yeah… I missed Kiba too, he would have been making out with me, if I asked him.'' I fumed.

''I would do it, if it wasn't for the fact that you were drunk!'' I WASN'T DRUNK! I just love to drink when I feel down…

''How could I have been drunk when I'm 12 years?''

''Go to a bar, ruin the place, steal the booze, and voila… a drunk 12 year old.'' He sighed. ''I've been wondering why the hell you began drinking.''

''I'm depressed! And if you will excuse me… I'm going to find Kiba and make out with him!''

''Eh, but you're not drunk now, I could…''

''YOU'RE -11! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!''

''-11? Yesterday I was -7.''

''That was a week ago!'' Suddenly we heard a scream and hurried to the place.

I looked at the victim and noticed something… that was the little brat that…

''OI, leave the kid alone.'' Sasu-chan coolly demanded, he seemed so calm. Damn him.

The brat looked our way, and was thrown to the ground by the clown hold him. His face lightened up when he looked at me. ''NARUTO-CHAN!'' He yelled and I looked at him in fear. YEAAH I FEAR HIM, LIKE REALLY! HE CLAIMED ME HIS… ''THE FUTURE WIFE OF THE FUTURE HOKAGE, ME!''

Sasu-chans face darkened… ''Brat… don't ever say that again…'' A vein popped at the side of his head… gross.

''OH YEAH, WHO ARE YOU TO…'' Konohamaru-brat was interrupted by the clown.

''Oi, someone… are you going to teach this brat a lesson, or am I going to have to do it?'' He asked.

''Who are you, clown?'' I asked, and Ero-Genin smirked.

''CLOWN? THIS IS WAR PAINT! I'LL KILL…'' The clown was interrupted by a sound from the trees.

''Kankuro… shut up. You're representing Suna… you shouldn't threaten the Konoha-nins.'' A red-haired boy calmly said. Oh hot damn… he's hot!

''G-Gaara…'' The newly dubbed Kankuro stammered.

''Damn… Ero-Genin… isn't he hot?'' I whispered, and he gave me a weird look.

''You think I'm gay?'' I was about to ask him but he beat me to it, ''shut up.''

''Kankuro, Temari… let's go.'' The red-haired boy demanded as he left us… well, almost.

''You, what's your name?'' Sasu-chan asked.

''Who, me?'' The girl asked with a tint of pink across her cheeks. I rolled my eyes at her behavior.

''No, the one with the guard.''

''Sabaku no Gaara…'' Gaara turned around to face us. ''I am also interested in who you are.'' He only looked at Sasu-chan… FUCK HIM, AND HERE I THOUGHT HE WAS HOT!

''Uchiha Sasuke.'' Ero-Genin looked at me. ''This is my teammate, Uzumaki Naruto.'' -10, he introduced me… how cute!

''I'll be looking forward to seeing you in the exams.'' Gaara finished…

WAIT! WHAT EXAM?

* * *

><p>Me: Just to not confuse you; I will have Naruto call Sasuke for Sasu-chan <em>and <em>Ero-Genin.

Naruto: YEAH! I'M AWESOME!

Sasuke: I hate it…

Me: I love it, it's fun to write…

Naruto: REVIEW!


	10. Chapter 9 - Kiba vs Sasuke

**Almost a female lifestyle**

Me: Chapter 9? CHAPTER 9? You think this letter on my head stands for chapter 8?

Sasuke: ARGH! WOULD YOU STOP WITH THOSE SUPERHERO QUOTES?

Me: … No?

Sasuke: ARRGH! DIE, AUTHOR DIE!

Naruto: Oh, I love Captain America! But isn't the quote about; ''Surrender? SURRENDER? You think this letter on my head stands for France?"

Me: I don't own a damn thing.

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -One-sided; SasufemNaru and femNaruKiba. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin'_ _– Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 9 – Kiba VS Sasuke<p>

In front the academy stood two… no three Genins, the third just came, and was about to get their fighting nerves ready… IT WAS THE CHUNIN EXAM TIME! Their sensei had just told them about it, and they burned his book, for being so damn forgetful. _'I can't believe Kaka-sensei didn't tell us about the exam… before yesterday! TODAY'S THE FUCKING EXAM!'_ Naruto thought as she silently cursed a few words out.

''Sasu-chan, Banshee! How are you guys, haven't seen ya' for like… yesterday.'' Naruto grinned. _'When our fucked up sensei, told us about the Chunin exam going on… today! Stupid forgetful sensei, I'll kill him after our big exam! YOSH! I'LL GET PROMOTED!'_

''Hey Naru-ch…'' Sasuke trailed off,_ 'Save it, save it, save it… I can't afford more minus points…'_ He inhaled deeply before continuing, ''arming… Naru-charming…?'' He questioned himself. Seeing her annoyed face, made him take a step back and shut up.

_'He was about to call me, Naru-chan. -11 again… but he did call me charming, so… -10.'_ She sighed. ''You guys have any plans, 'cause I'm planning on fuck it all, and be myself.''

''We have to keep low-profile. Sasuke-kun, no flirting with your teammate during the exam. Naruto, no threatening your upper-classmen. And for me, no showing fear.'' Sakura responded.

''Good idea, I like it.'' Naruto retorted.

''Why can't I flirt? It's not like it will be noticed, or anything.'' Sasuke complained.

''No, but it annoys me, and when I'm annoyed I attend to break something, that way we will not be keeping so low a profile, now would we?'' She scolded.

_'Didn't Banshee have a crush on Ero-Genin? Is this conversely day? I have to check it out…'_ Naruto thought. ''Banshee, you look great today.'' She complimented.

Sakura looked weirdly at her, and sighed. ''Thanks… Naruto?''

Sasuke stood there gaping slightly. ''Naruto, it's not conversely day…''

''Huh, it's not? Then you look like a fucking whore, Banshee.'' She corrected.

''ARGH, NARUTO IDIOT!'' Sakura punched her.

''Let's just go in, already. Dobe, Sakura… let's go.'' Sasuke demanded.

''Why does he still call me Dobe? Didn't he have a crush on me?'' She asked Sakura._ 'Of course Banshee wouldn't know… I am the only one… and Ero-Genin-Teme… and Kiba… who knows about this. Hm, did Sasu-chan really flirt with me that much?'_

Sakura growled. ''No he doesn't, he's just blind… and would you stop calling me Banshee?''

''… no.'' Naruto smiled innocently.

''Then I'll call you Shorty.'' Sakura retorted, with an evil grin.

''SHORTY? I'M NOT SHORT!''

''Naruto, are you alright?'' Sasuke asked, with a hint of concern. She looked slightly pale, but also exited and angry. ''And yeah… you are short…

She looked at him with a glare, piercing through his 'I'm-better-than-you'-attitude. ''I'M NOT ALRIGHT! KAKA-SENSEI TOLD US ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY, YESTERDAY! I didn't even get any fucking training done…'' She was cut off by a slap on the back of her head. ''The hell Banshee!''

''Stop complaining, and look professional! You're an embarrassment to this team!'' Sakura growled.

Sasuke sighed. _'They're at it again… They've been fighting since Wave. Girls… I'll never understand them.'_

''Please just let us in.'' A girl with two buns in her head begged the two guards in front of the door.

''HA, you shouldn't even be here. The exam will be ten times harder than this, you should just give up.'' The one with the big nose mocked.

''Who the hell is that prick?'' Naruto hissed. ''I should teach him some manners.'' She took out her favorite little kunai, and aimed it at the poor boy. Until a hand came in the way, and ruined it all.

''Naruto, you shouldn't do that. We have to keep low profile, to protect ourselves.'' Sasuke said.

''You just don't want anything to happen to my pretty face.'' She replied with a glare.

''That too.'' He admitted.

''Thank you for worrying, Sasu-chan, but I'm fine.''

''You sure?''

''I'm sure.''

''Sasuke-kun, Naruto… don't you think this is a Genjutsu, or something?'' Sakura asked.

''Why would it be a Genjutsu?'' Naruto stupidly grinned.

''Because this is only second floor.''

''Hn, then tell them off, Sakura.'' The Uchiha calmly said with a smirk.

''Didn't you just fucking say that we should keep a _low _profile?'' Naruto added a little pressure on _low_, just to see where he was going with the whole thing.

''Sometimes you'll have to keep a high profile, to make sure they don't mess with you.'' He replied.

Narutos P.O.V

Stupid Uchiha bastard, I can take care of myself, and if I don't, Kiba is always there… always. LIKE ALWAYS, YEAH! This is really fucked up. I didn't even notice we were on the second floor… I have to pretend I know what the fuck we're doing.

Sasu-chan and Banshee walked in the front and I in the back… Why did I always have to be in the back? I have the best body; I'm born to show it off. Although… I don't know what's under Sasu-chans close… yet. I'll find out one day… NYAHAHAHAHA! I'll never be normal…

I feel bad for these people. I know that we're probably not the strongest people around, but we are deadly… well, I am…

Sasukes P.O.V

''You should probably get rid of such a crappy Genjutsu, you're not fooling anyone.'' Sakura said, and we looked around. ''Well… you're not fooling us at least.'' She giggled lightly, and I turned to look at a smirking Naruto.

She probably had something up her sleeves… or she's just pretending to know what's going on. Cute. I know what you're thinking, the prideful, emotionless, stoic, great, handsome and so on, Uchiha, had the hots for the Uzumaki chick. She's a challenge, and Inuzuka is my competition.

Inuzuka Kiba… Narutos best guy friend… The one with the biggest shot of becoming her boyfriend. I won't let that happen. I will earn that +10… Is Kiba +10? If he is… I could transform into him, and then turn him into a –huge number… That's a plan.

''Oh, they busted us…'' One of the stupid looking guards said, as the Genjutsu released, and Naruto stepped forward.

''Hell yeah you're busted! Now slowly… walk away and I'll probably let you guys off with just a bruise.'' Damn it, Naruto…

''Oh really… You guys… aren't you guys the rookie of the year team…'' The stupid looking jerk asked.

'_How did they know? Are the other rookies also here? I'll get to kick Kibas ass, once and for all! OH YEAH!' _What…? Shut up. ''Did the other rookies pass by?'' I asked them, and they nodded in respond.

''But let's see how you go against this now…'' The stupid looking one once again said as he kicked out after us. I stepped forward in front of my teammates, and kicked out after him.

Suddenly a flash of green came running and stopped our legs from crashing. When the flash stopped, my food and the stupid looking persons food, was in the hands of a green weirdo, with bowl-cut hair… Was that really a Konoha Genin? He looked stupid.

But caching my kick with his hands… what is this chakra in his arms?

The green weirdo sighed, as his teammates stepped up to him. ''Hey, what happened to the plan? You're the one who said we shouldn't draw attention to ourselves.'' The brown-haired guy with milky-white eyes said. Probably a Hyuga like Hinata.

''Well…'' The green weirdo started as he looked at Naruto with a blush… WHAT THE HELL! IS HE CHECKING HER OUT OR SOMETHING? He walked over to her, and by every step… it pissed me off. ''I am Rock Lee, and what might your name be, sunflower?'' Sunflower… I feel depressed….

''Uzumaki Naruto, the one and only!'' She responded cheerfully. I growled slightly at the vision.

''Let's go out together Naruto-san! I'll protect you 'til I die!'' That Lee-guy exclaimed.

I walked over to them, and put a hand on his shoulder, as I glared intensely at him. ''What are you doing…?'' I dangerously whispered.

''Sasu-chan, don't worry, I wouldn't have said yes. You know I couldn't do that to Kiba and you. Ah, the wonder to have guys fighting over one…'' She sighed dreamily, and I growled at her. ''Aw, Sasu-chan… gone kitty all over me now?'' She laughed.

''Hn.'' Smooth reply Sasuke… smooth reply.

''Smooth reply Sasu-chan.'' I growled at her again.

''You, what's your name?'' The boy with the milky-white eyes asked me.

''It's common courtesy to introduce yourself, before asking.'' I replied, and his eyes narrowed.

''You're a rookie, right? How old are you?'' He asked.

''I don't have to answer that.'' I sighed and turned away from him followed by my two teammates. _'Man, there is a bunch of… monsters here.'_

As we walked down some stairs, we were stopped by the green weirdo. ''HEY, YOU WITH THE ATTITUDE!'' He yelled at us.

''Hey, Sasu-chan, he knows your name.'' Naruto joked, and Sakura snickered slightly. I DON'T GET GIRLS!

''What do you want?'' I asked him.

''I want to fight you!'' He exclaimed, and jumped down from the stand.

''A fight right now?''

''YES!'' He stood up from his position, and pointed at himself. ''My name's Rock Lee! If you want to know the name of your opponent, you have to introduce yourself first, right? What's your name?''

''Uchiha Sasuke.''

''I want to fight you!'' He took his fighting position and continued. ''I want to test my techniques against the offspring of the genius ninja clan… plus…'' He looked over at Naru-chan…

Hell no, hell no, hell no, hell no, hell no, hell no, hell no, hell no, hell no…

''Hell no.'' I muttered, as I glared at him. ''I have no intension of fighting you. But stay away from Naruto, or I might just kill you.''

Lee looked over at me again. ''Could it be… that the great, Uchiha Sasuke… is in love with the lovely Uzumaki Naruto.''

''I feel forgotten.'' I heard Sakura growl out.

''Don't worry Banshee, it just shows that nobody likes you!'' Naruto laughed loudly.

''A laugh of an angel.'' Lee said. ''I want to fight you know, Uchiha Sasuke-kun.''

''Fine.'' I hissed out.

Narutos P.O.V

Five minutes after the fight…

''Stupid idiot, taking a challenge like that! He's our upperclassman! Damn this shit.'' I grumbled.

''Naruto... I get it, I get it. I got my ass kicked, and now I need some help. I have a pain on my cheek, I need you.'' He smirked.

''Fuck you. What happened to no flirting?''

''That wasn't flirting, that was a request!'' He defended, and I snorted.

I punched him on the cheek… hard… ''Jerk.'' Yeah, I was mad at him. The jerk! I don't even feel like making a joke out of it. He walked up some stairs to get to the third floor and found our lovely sensei. Hatake Kakashi, the one and only.

''Ah, I see you all came. Well go inside… I don't want to waste any more time.'' Kaka-sensei said. I glared at him and walked ahead of my teammates, who walked behind me.

''Sasuke-kun!'' A Bimbo shrieked…

Normal P.O.V

Naruto looked at the direction of the sound and found a pale blond-haired girl with pale blue eyes, running towards them and jumping up on Sasukes back, followed by two boys looking as bored as hell. Sakura and Naruto gaped at the girl's behavior. ''INO-PIG! GET OFF OF SASUKE-KUN!'' Sakura scolded.

''Like hell I would, he likes it. Don't you like it _Sa-Su-Ke-Kun?_'' Ino asked slowly as she pinched his cheek.

''Bimbo, can't you see he's in fucking pain?'' Naruto hissed.

''OH KAMI, SASUKE-KUN! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?'' She shrieked.

''YAHOO! We're all here!'' A voice called out, showing Kiba, Shino and Hinata.

''HINATA-CHAN!'' Naruto exclaimed happily, as she jumped in the arms of the poor, poor girl. ''I've missed you so much, have you missed me? I bet you did.'' She squealed.

''Naru-chan, I've missed you too.'' Hinata hugged her back, as they both stood there for a while.

''YAA, why don't ya' just make out, it will be even hotter.'' Kiba said smirking.

''Naruto, what do you see in him as your best guy friend?'' Sasuke asked.

''What was that, Uchiha?'' Kiba growled.

''Oh, nothing… Just me saying that you're an idiot.'' He replied.

''WHAT? I'LL RIP OFF YOUR BALLS!''

''Oh yeah? Spell it.''

''B-A-L-S! BALLS! NOW SPELL DEATH!'' Kiba responded.

''You… you spelled balls wrong…'' Sasuke responded… ''And back off before I'll stick a kunai up your ass!''

''I would have put a kunai up yours, if you didn't have that ten feet pole filling in!''

''I'm sorry I didn't hear you for that noise of you begging for mercy.''

''WHAT? I'M A MAN, NOT YOU!''

''I would never in my wildest dreams beg for mercy…''

''N-NARU-CHAN! What are you doing…?'' A quiet voice came.

''Your look like you're having a bad time in that jacket, take it off, or I will.'' A louder voice demanded.

Kiba and Sasuke looked at the girls, and smirked. ''Aren't they cute together…'' They thought for a moment, when Kiba finished talking.

''That would be really hot.'' Sasuke replied nodding, and Kiba nodded in agreement.

''Hey you guys you should be more quiet.'' A grey-haired dude said as he walked towards us, with a hand on his hip. ''You guys are rookies just out of the academy, right? Screaming like little school girls… Geez. This isn't a picnic.''

''And just who do you think you are?'' Ino asked.

''I'm Kabuto.'' He answered. ''But instead of that, look behind you.'' He motioned with his hand.

''Behind?'' Sakura questioned.

They all looked behind and saw all the Genins taking the exam… scary Genins. They were currently glaring at the poor Genins.

''Those guys behind you are from the Hidden Rain, they have short tempers. Everyone is nervous about the exams, so you should quiet down before you cause a scene.'' He suggested, ''well guess I can't blame you, you're clueless rookies. You remind me of how I used to be.''

''Kabuto-san, right? Is this your second time?'' Sakura asked.

''Nope. This is my seventh time. The exam is held twice a year, so this is my fourth year.'' He replied. ''And because I'm such a nice guy… I'll share some info with such cute rookies.'' He took a bunch of cards out and looked up at them from the floor. ''Any requests?''

Sasuke stepped forward with a straight face and said; ''Sabaku no Gaara of Suna, and Rock Lee of Konoha.''

''Okay, first up is Rock Lee.'' Kabuto started. ''Okay, he's a year older than you guys. Mission history – D-rank – 20 completed, C-rank – 12 completed. His sensei is Gai. His Taijutsu have improved greatly this year, all the other stuff is nothing impressive. Last year he gained attention as a talented new Genin, but he did not participate in the exam. On his team are Hyuga Neji and Tenten.'' He finished.

''Hyuga… Neji… Hey, Hinata, isn't that your cousin or something?'' Naruto asked, and Hinata nodded in reply.

''Next is Sabaku no Gaara. He's yours age, mission status, c-rank 8, b-rank 1… wow a b-rank mission as a Genin. Since he's a newcomer from a foreign country, I don't have so much info on him, but… it seems like he has returned from all the missions unscratched… that's really something.'' Kabuto continued. ''Remember now, from all the villages, they have only elites here. Well, Oto… is more of a minor village so I wouldn't know anything about that. But the rest is big hidden villages.''

Suddenly three Genins attacked Kabuto, one of them launched an arm with a gauntlet on towards Kabuto, but he dodged a good dodge. _'Nice dodge.' _Sasuke thought. Suddenly Kabutos glasses broke, and people around stared in wonder. He had dodged and everything.

'_Oto-nins?'_ Naruto thought as she took out her favorite kunai and threw it in their direction. She teleported to the kunai, and grabbed it, as she put it to the Oto-nins throat. ''Mercy?''

'_A-All I saw was a yellow flash…'_ The poor Oto-nin thought.

* * *

><p>Me: I'll stop here, because I have to go to the doctor tomorrow, and he told me to rest my hands. I just wanted to have this out of the way first.<p>

Naruto: Next chapter… I think you know.

Sasuke: Yeah, review, blah, blah, blah…


	11. Chapter 10 - Badass For the Win

**Almost a female lifestyle**

Me: It's your friendly neighborhood, chapter 10!

Naruto: Eh, what?

Me: I'M OUT OF SUPERHERO QUOTES!

Naruto: So you chose a Spiderman quote? Better yet; 'It's your friendly neighborhood Spiderman'?

Me: *Add – Cry.*

Sasuke: Hn, Author doesn't own anything.

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -One-sided; SasufemNaru and femNaruKiba. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin'_ _– Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 10 – Badass For the Win<p>

Narutos P.O.V

DAMN, THAT WAS BADASS! I'm still in front of the weird Oto-nin, waiting for him to beg for mercy… THAT IS SO BADASS! I'm holding my favorite kunai… CAN YOU SPELL BAD-ASS? I AM SO DAMN AWESOME! I wonder if Sasu-chan is thinking the exact same thing…

Do… I seem like a player?

Nah, it's just my imagination.

A loud poof dragged me out of my thoughts, and as the smoke from the poof cleared, I saw a scarred man… Scars… EKKK, SCARY! Who is that guy? He's fucking scary lookin'! Ever seen 'Halloween'? You know, the one with Michael Myers, and him killing his family when he was ten… Think scary like that.

Oh, and Myers could never die... It was so freaky. So scary… And is it just me, or is that guy actually glaring at me right now? ''FOR ALL YOU MAGGOTS, WHO DECIDED TO PICK A FIGHT… DO THAT LATER, THE FIRST EXAM IS BEGINNING, AND I'M THE EXAMINER, MORINO IBIKI!'' Michael Myers look-a-like shouted.

So there we were… All picking a random number, to find out, where we were going to sit. And as cruel fate is… It actually had a sense of humor. I was sitting between Kiba and Sasuke. ''Hey, guys!'' I smiled, and they waved as I sat down in between them.

''Naru-chan, isn't the weather comfy?'' Kiba randomly asked.

''Um… Sure… Just sad how we have to spend it whilst doing a fucking test.'' I complained, ''why don't we have the test outside, for a difference?''

''Hn, don't worry. After this test, we'll be experiencing some danger outside, probably.'' Sasu-chan nodded.

''And I'll be able to beat the rookie of the year, for the win!'' Kiba proclaimed.

''What was that, mutt?'' Sasu-chan growled.

''Geez, how did _you_ become the rookie of a year. A good ninja should never let anything slip.'' Kiba retorted.

This was going to be fun.

''A good ninja shouldn't reveal his secret intensions. You're after Naruto, aren't you?''

The pervert was being paranoid? That's a new one. So, there I sat, the test was about to start, and I was sitting between two guys, who were currently fighting over some stupid shit. They were cussing, arguing and used words I didn't even understand.

''You're so annoying. I don't get what girls see in you. Naru-chan, you should pick me, over that guy.'' Kiba announced.

''What girls see in me, is what Naruto is going to see in me. And she hates the name Naru-chan. Naruto, you should pick me, only I can bring happiness to your world.'' Sasuke argued.

''She'll never see it! And she only loves the name, when it's coming from my mouth! Have you ever made her blush? I HAVE! OH YEAH! FOR THE WIN!'' Kiba cheered.

''I hate the name, I don't see it, and I fucking hate both of you,'' I joined in.

Both of them looked at me, who had an annoyed expression, in wonder. Of course, it was amusing, but it got old too fast! Okay… So now they were bickering again, on who pissed me off? Stupid boys, and their stupid argument, because of their stupid hormones.

''Please shut up, and let's focus on the exam,'' I demanded. Those jackasses were going to experience some serious cold shoulders from me. FOR THE WIN!

''Do not turn your test's over.'' Ibiki ordered. ''Listen closely to what I'm going to say. There are many important rules to this first test. I'll write it on the board while I explain, but questions will not be allowed so listen carefully.''

We turned to look at Ibiki.

''The first rule. You guys will all start off with ten points. The test is made up of ten questions and each one is worth a point, but… this test uses a subtraction system. Basically if you answer all the questions correctly, you keep your ten points. But say, if you miss three questions… you lose three points and will have seven left.'' Ibiki explained.

'_I'M FUCKING DOOMED!'_

''Rule number two, the test is a team event. Meaning passing is determined by combining each team's total score. So each team will compete to see how many points they can hold on to from the initial team total of thirty.''

'_OUCH… We are seriously doomed!'_

''WAIT A SECOND!'' Banshee, who sat in front of us, had immediately risen from her seat, with a hand up in the air, before she continued, ''I don't understand this initial point system either, but why does it have to be a team test?''

'_THAT BITCH DOESN'T TRUST ME! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!'_

''Shut up, you don't have the right to question me. There is a reason for this, so be quiet and listen. Ok and now for the most important rule. The third rule is that during the exam… anyone caught by the testing officers doing sneaky activities, namely cheating… will have two points subtracted for every offense.'' Ibiki had a sadistic smile planted on his face. ''So there will be someone who will lose all their points during the exam and will be asked to leave.''

''We'll have our eyes on you guys…'' Kotetsu said, as he chuckled.

'_Oh wow… He looks like that guy we saw earlier. Although, he looks like an older version. NO WAY! THEY USED TRANSFORMATION? I'LL FUCKING KILL THEM ALL! I'LL SMASH THEIR FACES IN, SO HARD THAT THEY DIE FROM BRAIN DAMAGES, AND THEN, I'LL BRING THEM BACK TO LIVE, JUST TO CUT THEIR HEADS OFF AND SHOVE IT UP THEIR ARSE!'_

''Realize that the pathetic ones that get caught cheating will be destroying themselves. As shinobis trying to achieve the level of Chunin, be proud ninjas.'' Ibiki explained. ''And the final rule… Those that lose all their initial points during the test and those that don't answer any of the questions correctly… will be failed along with their two teammates…''

'_I sense two people, wanting to kill me.'_

''The exam will last an hour… Ok… BEGIN!''

And with that, I turned my paper and let my jaw drop. _'WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? What the fuck is a cryptogram? Even Kiba looks troubled! And Sasu-chan… Well… FUCK HIM! AFTER THIS I'LL STEAL HIS DAMN BRAIN, AND SHOW HIM THAT I'M THE SMARTEST!'_

Quietly doing my test, a Sand-nin in front of us stood up, probably to ask a question. Stupid kid. ''Um… I'd just like to know one thing…'' The Sand-nin asked… ''how many teams will past this test?'' As said… Stupid kid.

Ibiki chuckled sadistically… ''It's not like knowing will help you… or do you want to be disqualified?''

''Sorry.'' The Sand-nin muttered as he sat down once again, to answer the questions.

I actually like this man! HE IS LIKE AN OLDER ZABUZA-SAMA! Zabuza… Zabuza… I want to cry! Fuck this shit, I need help right now!

First of all, this test is stupid! THOSE FUCKING RULES JUST WANTS ME TO BREAK THEM! THEY ARE SCREAMING FOR ME! I WANT TO… I WANT TO BREAK THEM! Ero-Genins Sharingan is activated… Why the hell are they activated?

Maybe… HE'S CHEATING! YOU LYING BASTARD! AND YOU SERIOUSLY EXPECT ME TO BE WITH YOU! Hm, maybe cheating is a good way through life…? I mean… I am a ninja. I should at least break the rules sometimes. HECK! THERE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ANY RULES!

But how… super punch… clones… flying thunder god… Wait till the last question…

''**You little brat, just stop thinking! Do you know how annoying you are when you think?''**

… A thousand years old demon fox, which coincidently lives in my mind…

That could work.

'_YO, FOXIE! Give me the answers to these questions! First shit, is a cryptogram.'_

''**And why would I help you?''**

'_Because, I'll tell the old man your damn name. And you wouldn't want that, right, Kurama-kun?'_

''**Damn brat! Alright, you know what a cryptogram is, so just fill it out,''** he explained.

Right… I knew that! As I said there quietly, listening to the answers from my best pal, **''don't suck up to me, brat,''** Kurama, I suddenly found a kunai flying past me. My eyes widened in horror, because it cut one of my hairs off.

… That sonofa…

''YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU WERE THIS,'' I took my thumb and index finger, to show them how close I was to getting cut, ''CLOSE TO GET HIT! WHAT IS THIS? DO I HAVE TO BE AWARE OF SOME MOTHERFUCKERS TRYING TO KILL ME DURING THE EXAM?''

''Uzumaki Naruto, sit down and shut up,'' Ibiki demanded. How the hell did he know my name? ''That kunai was clearly meant to be aimed for the now pale ninja behind you.''

''WHAT WAS THAT FOR?'' The boy behind me questioned, too.

''You messed up five times… You _fail._'' Kotetsu explained.

''N-No… No way…'' The boy stuttered.

''The two on his team, get out of here. Right now.'' Kotetsu smirked.

When the room settled down, I began writing again, until after 30 minutes…

''Number 102, stand up. You fail.'' One of the Chunins suddenly said.

''Number 23, you fail!'' Another one said.

''NO!'' Number 23 shouted out in rage.

''43 and 27, you fail.'' This time a Jounin informed them.

A Sand-nin suddenly slammed his hand into the table and stood up. ''DO YOU HAVE PROVE THAT I CHEATED FIVE TIME?'' He shouted. ''ARE YOU GUYS WATCHING ALL…'' He trailed off when one of the testing officers vanished and appeared beating the Sand-nin into the wall.

''Listen, among Chunins we were elites assembled to watch over this exam. We haven't missed anything you've done. You could say this strength is our proof.'' The bandaged Chunin explained, with a rather sadistic voice.

Motherfuckaaaaaaaaaa….

''Excuse me!'' The clown from yester yelled.

''What is it?'' The testing officer asked.

''Bathroom…'' He replied.

And the clown walked out…

''Okay... We will now start the tenth question.'' Ibiki interrupted. ''Now… before we get to it… I'd like to go over the added rules for this question.'' At this point, Kankuro and his doll came back in. ''Perfect timing… Did your doll play beneficial?'' Ibiki asked with a smirk. ''I'll now explain… These are… the rules of desperation… First, for this tenth question… you must choose whether you will take it, or not.''

''CHOOSE?'' Temari yelled. ''WHAT HAPPENS IF WE CHOOSE NOT TO?''

Ibiki closed his eyes, and then opened them in a sadistic manner. ''If you choose not to, your points will be reduced to zero… You _fail_! Along with your two teammates.'' That sadist… I'm glad he had fun before he died… He his heart ripped out… Ouch.

''WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?'' A Genin yelled in question.

''THEN OF COURSE WE WILL DECIDE TO TAKE THE QUESTION!'' Another Genin yelled.

''And now the other rule… If you choose to take it… and answer incorrectly… THAT PERSON WILL LOSE THE RIGHT TO TAKE THE CHUNIN SELECTION EXAM AGAIN!'' Ibiki yelled.

MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

''WHAT KIND OF STUPID RULE IS THAT?'' Kiba yelled, with Akamaru barking in support. ''THERE ARE GUYS HERE WHO HAVE TAKEN THE EXAM BEFORE!''

Ibiki chuckled sadistically, which alarmed the Genins in the room. ''You guys were unlucky… this year it's my rules.'' He replied with a smirk. ''But I am giving you a way out. Those who aren't confident can choose not to take it… and try again next year.'' There was a long silence in the room. ''Now let's begin… the tenth question.''

A heavy silence filled the room, and I was honestly thinking, what the hell I should do. I was scared that I could never become a Chunin, and I was scared to let my comrades down… Which one should it be? Comrades or rank?

If _I_ chose to take it, and answered incorrectly… then they would still be able to take the exam, because I was the one who answered wrongly. But, what if it didn't work like that? What if… What if they would hate me for it…? BUT THEY WOULD FUCKING HATE ME, IF I QUIT IT, TOO!

''I… I WON'T TAKE IT!'' A Konoha-nin exclaimed. ''I'm sorry… Gennai, Inoho…'' He was shaking slightly.

Poor boy…

''Number 50, you fail. 130, 111 also fail!'' The testing officer proclaimed, and the Genin cursed.

''ME TOO!'' A Grass-nin exclaimed.

''AND ME!''

''SORRY GUYS!''

''I QUIT!''

''ME TOO!''

The tension became heavier and heavier for every single one of them, who left. I had to… I just had to do it… I raised my hand, slowly as I was slightly shaking. I then slammed my hand down on the table, as the rest of the Genins that knew me was shocked. ''DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME! I WILL NOT RUN! I'LL TAKE IT! EVEN IF IT MEANS BEING A GENIN FOREVER…! I'LL WILL MYSELF TO BECOMING HOKAGE ANYWAY, SO I DON'T CARE! I'M NOT AFRAID!'' With the newfound determination I felt my teammates smile at me…

''I'll ask you again. Your life is riding on this decision. This is your last chance to quit.'' Ibiki smirked.

''I'll follow my unbending words… That's my way of the ninjas.''

''Good decision…. Now to everyone still remaining… I CONGRATULATE YOU ON PASSING THE FIRST TEST!'' Ibiki shouted.

Silence…

''Wait… What do you mean? We already pass? What about the tenth question?'' Sakura asked, shocked.

''There never was such a thing.'' Ibiki grinned. ''Or you could say those two choices were the tenth question.''

''HEY! THEN WHAT WERE THE NINE FIRST QUESTIONS FOR? THEY WERE POINTLESS THEN!'' Temari shouted.

''They were not pointless…'' Ibiki started. ''They had already served their intended purpose. To test your individual information gathering ability… that purpose. First as the rules explained… Success on this test is based on the whole team doing well this puts pressure on each member not to… mess things up for their teammates.''

''I see, I see… I had a feeling this test was something like that…'' I truthfully said. Okay… I didn't know… BUT, I DID IT AT LEAST!

''Oi, Naruto,'' I turned my head to Sasu-chan and he continued, ''how did you get all these questions right?''

''Uh… I did as told… I 'gathered information' if you know what I mean…'' I wiggled my eyebrows at him, and he smiled amused. ''I saw your Sharingan activate, and knew you would never sink so low as to cheat. So, I also knew that you had a reason.''

''Good that was what I was aiming for…'' he sighed, and turned his attention back to Ibiki.

''But the questions on this test was not the types a mere Genin would answer. Because of that… I'm sure most of the people came to the same conclusion… That to score points, I'll have to cheat. Basically… the premise of this test is to cheat.'' Ibiki explained. ''As cheating targets, we had two or so Chunins who knew all the answers mixed into the crows, to help you guys out.''

Behind me I could hear a couple of Genins speaking out loud, which annoyed me because… ''Man… It sure was tough finding that guy.'' One of the stupid Genins said.

''Yeah I know.'' Another one of the stupid Genins said.

''But those who cheat poorly…'' Ibiki took off his headband, and continued, ''fail of course. Because… at times, information is more important than life… and on mission and the battlefield, people risk their lives to get their hands on it.''

A heavy silence filled the room once again, at the shock of Ibikis head. Horrible screw holes, burns and scars… the after effect of torture. It looked horrible…

''If the enemy or the third party notices you… there is no guarantee that the information will be accurate.'' He put his headband back on, and continued once again. ''I want you to remember this. Important information in your hands… can be a powerful weapon for your comrades and the village. So we had you gather information through cheating. This clearly separated those that did not have the right abilities.''

''But… I don't understand the final question…'' Temari admitted.

Ibiki smiled. ''But… question ten… is the true purpose of this test.''

''What do you mean?'' Sakura asked.

''Let me explain… The tenth question… the take it or not take it decision… Obviously these were painful choices. Those who choose the latter will fail along with their teammates. Those who choose to take it… could lose the chance to take the test again… a true leap of faith.'' Ibiki chuckled slightly.

Eh… YO, MICHAEL MYERS WANNABE, BE MORE SPECIFIC!

''Now about these two choices… Say you guys become Chunins. Your mission is to steal a secret document. The amount of ninjas, their abilities, and etc. is unknown to you. And of course there could be traps set all around you. Now do you accept, or not accept? Because you don't want to die… You don't want your comrades to get hurt… Can you avoid this dangerous mission? The answer is, NO!'' Ibiki yelled.

EKK, scary, scary, scary…

''No matter what the danger… there are missions you can't avoid. The ability to be courageous, and survive any hardship… This is the ability needed to become a Chunin captain. Those who can't put their destinies on the line… who clings to the unknown future of _there's always next year_… and then walk away from their chances… THOSE PIECES OF TRASH WHO CAN ONLY MAKE COWARDLY CHOICES… DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BECOME CHUNINS… THAT'S HOW I FEEL!''

Oh, so that's why they passed…

''Those who choose to take it… answered the tough tenth question correctly. You will be able to survive any troubles you face in the future. You made it through the entrance. The first exam of the Chunin selection exam is now finished. I wish you guys luck.'' Ibiki explained with a smile on his face.

I suddenly felt the air tense, and looked out of the window, which had some sort of ball flying towards us…

* * *

><p>Me: Sorry it took so long!<p>

Naruto: Basically, there were only written about two pages, but she took most of the text from her other story, because she had it all explained there, and was too lazy to write it again.

Sasuke: Basically, she sucks.

Me: SHUT UP! FFFUUUU!

Naruto: Review.


	12. Chapter 11 - Purple and Brat

**Almost a Female Lifestyle**

Me: Chapter 11 powers activate!

Naruto: *Add – Sigh* oh, please do tell, what hero said that?

Me: THE WONDER TWINS! WORLDS LAMEST SUPERHEROES!

Sasuke: You're the lamest person…

Me: I would say you are the lamest fictional character ever, but I am too in love with your looks *-*

Sasuke: Uwaah-sama doesn't own us.

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -One-sided; SasufemNaru and femNaruKiba. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin'_ _– Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 11 – Purple and Brat<p>

The window broke and out came four kunais, each strapped to a corner of a sheet. Two landed on loft and two on the ground. On the sheet was written 'Second examiner, Mitarashi Anko', and in front of the sheet was a woman, wearing a long beige coat.

''YOU GUYS, THIS IS NO TIME FOR CELEBRATING,'' the woman exclaimed. ''I AM THE EXAMINER FOR THE SECOND TEST, MITARASHI ANKO! NOW LET'S GO! FOLLOW ME!''

'_That woman… she reminds me of someone I know…'_ Sasuke thought.

'_This examiner… is Naruto-ish…'_ Sakura thought.

''Bad timing,'' Ibiki said from behind the sheet.

Anko scanned the room for a few seconds, and then looked back at Ibiki with a disapproving look. ''Seventy-eight? IBIKI! YOU LEFT TWENTY-SIX TEAMS? The test was way too easy this time,'' she complained.

''This time… there are a lot of outstanding ones…'' Ibiki replied.

''Bah, that's fine,'' she shrugged. ''I'll at least cut them down to half in the second exam.''

'_Cut us? At least in half?'_ Sakura thought.

''Ah, I'm getting exited,'' Anko laughed. ''I'll explain everything ones we've changed places, follow me.''

And so, the people who passed the test followed Mitarashi Anko to the forest of death, leaving Morino Ibiki alone to collect all the tests. As he was about to take Naruto's test in his hands he noticed something…

'_All these questions… they've been answered correctly by the dead-last of the year… Are you truly a death-last, Uzumaki?' _He thought as he was smirking.

In front of the Forest of Death.

''Damn,'' Naruto commented. 'It's huge… Look, Sasu-chan, those trees must be from another planet, they're enormous!''

''Naruto, that's stupid…'' Sakura retorted. ''They must be from another solar system.''

Sasuke looked at the two girls. ''When did you two become best friends?'' he muttered.

''When I gave you your new nickname, Sasu-chan,'' Naruto smiled.

''I gotta admit, it's a very cute name, Sasu-chan,'' Sakura giggled.

''Both of them… Both of them are calling me Sasu-chan…'' he whispered in horror. ''Shut up, you troublesome women,'' he said in a louder voice.

''Shika-Sasuke!'' Naruto pointed out, and Sakura laughed at it.

''Being bullied by your teammates, Sasuke?'' a voice said from behind them. They all three turned around to see team ten, smirking at the seen in front of them. ''Shika-Sasuke? I'm insulted. That makes us sound like a couple,'' Shikamaru said.

''Like I can control their mouths without violence,'' Sasuke complained.

''Women are troublesome, I'll give you that,'' he sighed.

''Ah, Sakura, Naruto, are you really beginning to be friends?'' Ino asked.

''She's mine, Bimbo,'' Naruto laughed out loud, whilst holding Sakura close to her. ''I don't know how strong our hatred to one another was, but it was solved when I gave Sasu-chan a cute name.''

''Sasu-chan?'' Shikamaru asked amused, as he exchanged glances with Chouji.

Chouji laughed. ''I thought his nickname was Ero-Genin.''

''Keyword, was,'' Naruto pointed out. ''I did some thinking. And since Sasu-chan always brood like a child, who can't convince his mother to buy him candy, I figured he would be a Sasu-chan.''

''You act like a child with ADHD, why the hell can't I call you Naru-chan?'' Sasuke growled.

Suddenly a kunai came their way, cutting a hair from Sasuke's bangs. ''Brat, don't go around flirting with the ladies and go back to your team,'' Anko ordered.

''This is my team,'' he replied.

''EH?! Two girls?! What the hell were they thinking? Uchiha-kun is a growing boy, who just hit puberty with hormones, and he's surrounded by girls?!'' Anko yelled.

''It's not like it's any different from the academy. He was surrounded all the time! 'OH, SASUKE-KUN, LICK MY FINGER, IT TASTES LIKE TOMATOES', 'OH, SASUKE-KUN, I'VE MADE A TOMATO-SHAPED RICEBALLS', 'OH, SASUKE-KUN-'' Naruto was cut off.

''KNOCK IT OFF, PERVERTED WOMAN!'' Sasuke twitched in annoyance.

''What, you like tomatoes.''

''Because they're healthy for a ninja.''

''So is fish, but you puke from the scent alone.''

''That is coming from a girl that only eats ramen,'' he shouted.

''FISH-FLAVORED RAMEN EXISTS!'' She replied.

''WHAT ARE YOU ON?!''

''SUGAR!''

''SUGAR?!''

''FUCK YOU, PERVERT!''

''WHO'S THE PERVERT?!''

''YOU FUCKING SHIT-HEAD, GET YOUR EARS FIXED, I CALLED YOU A PERVERT!''

''I WOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR, IF YOU DIDN'T YELL ME IN THE EAR TWENTY-FOUR/SEVEN!''

''WHO'S YELLING?!''

''YOU, HAVE YOU MADE YOURSELF DEAF?!''

''OKAY, YOU BRATS, KNOCK IT OFF!'' Anko joined in. ''the next word from your two and I'll disqualify your team…''

And that did it. They went silent.

''Now, welcome to the stage of the second test, practice area forty-four. Also known as… the Forest of Death,'' Anko said.

'_I've seen this woman before… But, I don't know where…'_ Naruto thought.

''You'll soon find out why it's called the Forest of Death. NOW SHUT UP ALL FUCK-HEADS, I'LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING!'' She yelled.

'_PURPLE-SENSEI!'_ Naruto's thoughts exclaimed. _'The person who taught me every cuss word I know…'_ Her eyes shone in admiration. ''PURPLE-SENSEI!''

''Purple-sensei… EH?! You're Bratty-chan? The brat who stole my sake…'' Anko realized.

''THAT'S ME! THAT'S ME!'' Naruto laughed.

''Huh, Naruto you know her?'' Sakura asked.

''The woman I look up to, the one who had all men as her bitches, the one and only Purple-sama!'' Naruto grinned widely.

''Yeah, yeah… Good to see you, Bratty-chan, you've come a long way,'' Anko praised.

''YOSH, all thanks to you!'' She said.

''Thanks to that scary woman, troublesome…'' Shikamaru said.

''She was the one who taught me how to use THE kunai…'' Naruto informed.

''You mean the Thunder God technique…?'' Sasuke asked.

''YES, OH THE IMPACT SHE HAD ON ME!''

''Clearly I am awesome, you know,'' Anko bragged. ''BUT, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR OLD MEMORIES! I HAVE TO GET YOU READY FOR THE TEST! I'll explain… But first, there's something I have to pass out.'' In her hands was a bunch of papers. ''You must sign these agreement forms.''

''What?'' Naruto wondered out loud.

''There will be deaths in this exam…'' she casually replied. ''If I don't have you sign these, it will be mine responsibility, tee-he… I'm going to explain this second test, and then you can sign it afterwards. And then each team will sign in at that booth behind me.''

She gave the bunch of papers to Naruto.

''Okay! I will now explain this second test. Simply put… you will attempt the ultimate survival…''

'_Survival… man… this sucks,'_ Shikamaru thought as he passed the papers on to the next after receiving a paper.

''First, I will explain the area in which it will take place.'' She had a scroll out with a map over the area in front of the seventy-eight Genins. ''Around practice area forty-four… are four locked gates. Forest, river and a tower in the middle. From the gates to the tower around ten kilometers. During the survival in here, you will be asked to complete a certain task. Using your many weapons and Jutsus, you will compete in a…'' she closed the rule whilst the suspense hit the Genins.

''In a…?'' Naruto questioned impatiently.

''No rules… scroll battles,'' Anko replied.

''Scroll?'' a Genin questioned.

''Yes… You will fight over these two scrolls, the 'Heaven' and 'Earth' scrolls,'' she said as she held two new scrolls in her hands. ''There are seventy-eight people here, meaning twenty-six teams. Half, thirteen will get the 'Heaven' scroll, and the other half, thirteen will get the 'Earth' scroll. To pass this test, your team must make it to the tower, with both scrolls.''

''Thirteen teams will lose their scrolls… half of them will definitely fail.'' Sakura said.

''However… there is a time limit. This test will last one hundred and two hours. Exactly five days…'' Anko then got interrupted by two loud voices.

''FIVE DAYS!'' Ino yelled.

''WHAT ABOUT FOOD?!'' Chouji exclaimed.

Anko closed her eyes in annoyance, ''you're on your own. The forest is full of food. Just watch out for man-eating beasts, poisonous insects and poisonous plants.'' She warned. ''And thirteen teams passing is not likely. As the days go on the distance to the goal will become farther. And the time to rest will become shorter. And the area is crawling with enemies. You won't get much sleep. So not only will some people fail because of the scrolls, some will also die from the harshness of the course.''

''I'm not going on a diet, woman,'' Naruto complained.

''Still on the food topic? Seriously? Bratty-chan, you need to lose a few pounds all that ramen has made you fat,'' Anko replied.

''Bitch, please, I look good in everything,'' Naruto smirked. ''Whether I'm fat, skinny, having a bad-hair day… My face makes up to all that.''

''What if you get a pimple cocky shit-head?''

''My eyes makes up for that,'' she laughed.

''Team Naruto, hit her,'' Anko ordered.

Sakura hit Naruto at the top of her head. ''Idiot, stop interrupting her, and like hell you look that good.''

''Banshee is jealous,'' Naruto sang.

''Bratty-chan, shut it and let me continue,'' Anko scolded.

''Sorry,'' she muttered.

''Now… I'll talk about what will disqualify you.'' She held out one finger and began; ''First, those who don't make it to the tower, with both scrolls within the time limit.'' She then held out two fingers. ''Second, those who lose a teammate or have a teammate killed.'' She put both hand on her hips and continued; ''as a rule… there is no quitting in the middle. You'll be in the forest for five days. And one more rule… you must not look inside the scrolls until you come to the tower.''

''What happens if you do?'' Naruto asked.

''That'll be a secret for anyone who does.'' She replied in her sickly sweet voice. ''A Chunin will be asked to handle classified information. This is to test your trustworthiness. That is for the explanation. Exchange your three agreements for a scroll, then choose a gate for the start.'' She looked up to them. ''A final word of advice… don't die.

A little time after that, and everyone should be ready to exchange the papers for the scrolls. A person from the booth came out. ''It's about time to exchange for the scrolls…'' he informed.

'_I see… So you can't tell which team gets which scroll, or who on the team is carrying the scroll. It's as Ibiki said. In this test we will risk our lives fighting for information,'_ Sasuke thought. _'Everyone is an enemy. Everyone here is determined. There will be killing.'_

'_Hehe, the meaning of signing those forms… looks like they understand it,'_ Anko thought.

Gate sixteen – Kiba, Shino and Hinata.

''YAHOO! Survival is our specialty. Hinata don't go soft on us.'' Kiba exclaimed.

Gate twenty-seven – Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino.

''Risking our lives… This sucks, but we'll have to do it.'' Shikamaru said. _'Let's go after Naruto, I don't know which techniques she got, but she is sure to be weak.'_

Gate twelve – Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura.

'_I WON'T LOSE! I'LL KICK ANYONE'S ASS WHO GETS NEAR ME!'_ Naruto thought.

Gate twenty – The sound trio.

'_Hehe, it's finally here. The chance to fulfill our mission.' _The one wrapped up in bandages said.

Gate thirty-eight – Kabutos team.

Kabuto stood there just smirking. All three remained quiet.

Gate six – Sand siblings.

'_Of course the other teams… but I'm also afraid of being with him for five days.' _Kankuro thought glancing at Gaara.

Gate fifteen – Mysterious Kusa-nins.

''So first we'll go after the rookies.'' One of them said.

''We're allowed to kill from here. Makes things easier.'' Another one said.

Gate forty-one – Neji, Lee, and Tenten.

'_Gai-sensei, I'll do my best.' _Lee determinedly thought.

With Anko.

''EVERYONE, FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTOR AND GO TO YOUR GATES! THE SECOND EXAM WILL BEGIN IN 30 MINUTES!'' Anko ordered.

Thirty minutes later.

''THE SECOND TEST OF THE CHUNIN EXAMS… NOW BEINGS!'' She yelled as all the Genins smacked their gates open and began.

The Kusa-nins moved fast from gate fifteen. ''THOSE THREE, RIGHT?'' one of them asked.

''Find the brats,'' another answered.

With team seven.

''OKAY! LET'S GO!'' Naruto yelled.

''Oi, shut up,'' Sasuke said.

''Minus twelve,'' she replied.

''WHAT, MINUS TWELVE?!''

''Who should shut up now…'' she smirked. ''You went up a lot when you tried to fight for me against Lee, but also dropped a lot when you argued against me earlier. In other words, you've been a bitch all day.''

''Naruto, you're driving me insane…''

* * *

><p>Me: Kind of short, but this is the best I could do for now…<p>

Naruto: EH?! THIS IS ONLY SEVENTH PAGE!

Me: I'm only one and a half (at least) page short…

Sasuke: I don't care, why did you make us argue with one another?

Me: Because you're both half-assed bastards, now shut up.

Sasuke: Does she even know what half-assed means?

Naruto: No, she doesn't… *Add – Sigh* she probably heard it one too many times and it got stuck in her head. Okay folks, review and support the author, Uwaah-sama, or else she'll loose inspiration.

Me: I see butterflies…


	13. Chapter 12 - Talking Worth Shit

**Almost a Female Lifestyle**

Me: She was dead before your webbing reached her! A fall from that height would kill anyone before they struck chapter 12.

Naruto: And you're back…

Me: I am back, with a Green Goblin quote. ^o^!

Naruto: Loser.

Me: Shut it. SO, this time is quite a special. There'll be no fighting at all, no scene change, full out, team seven on their first day in the forest.

Sasuke: Humor is limited.

Me: NEVER!

Sasuke: Uwaah-sama doesn't own anything.

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -One-sided; SasufemNaru and femNaruKiba. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin'_ _– Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 12 – Talking Worth Shit<p>

"This day has been so boring!" Naruto complained.

"Shut up, Naruto," Sakura muttered.

"But the only fight we've had, was with those stupid Ame-nins," she whined.

Team seven was currently relaxing under the roots of a tree in the Forest of Death. Sasuke was out searching for any sign of enemies, whilst Naruto and Sakura relaxed. Earlier, Naruto had asked if she couldn't just send some shadow clones out, but no… The man of the group told her to save her chakra for another time.

Sakura had actually played actively in their first fight. She had sent those Ame-nins flying two miles, if not, more.

They heard a crack of a branch, and the girls' heads snapped that way. They sighed with relief. It was just Sasuke.

"No hello?" he grumbled.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun," Sakura muttered.

"Hello, Sasu-chan," Naruto laughed at his face, when she had called out his nickname.

He sighed. "The coast is clear, we can relax for a while," he informed, and the girls nodded in respond.

Then suddenly, Naruto got an idea. "LET'S GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER!" she exclaimed.

"That's a great idea!" Sakura agreed. "Then, how about Naruto, you start asking one of us a question, and then that other one has to ask another one a question and so on."

"Lame," Sasuke muttered, receiving a glare from Sakura and Naruto. He sighed in defeat. "Alright, alright."

Naruto grinned widely. "Then, Banshee! What made you fall for Sasu-chan?"

Sakura thought for a moment and then giggled. "You know, a lot of his fans are my friends. They started talking about how awesome, strong and mysterious Sasuke-kun was. And you have to admit that Sasuke-kun is really handsome. Then I started seeing all those points, but I also started seeing even more to him. I started seeing all the things he didn't show in public. I always wondered why he brooded like that all the time, so I just thought that he did it to avoid getting hurt, and that only made him seem more… how to say this, you know, pleasant for some reason," she explained. "And you know, Naruto, he has never looked as happy as he is when he is with you."

"She didn't have to know that," Sasuke muttered.

The girls laughed at that. "Then Sasuke-kun, why is it that you are always brooding?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke looked down for a moment. Just to find the right words. _'I can actually trust these people,'_ he thought. "You know on the first day, I told you that I wanted to kill a certain someone," Sakura nodded and Naruto paled. "That person isn't you, Naruto, don't worry. That person is my brother." Naruto gasped and Sakura's jaw dropped. "The person who wiped out my clan, the only reason I am brooding, is that I don't want to waste any time and I want to get stronger as soon as possible."

"Wait, then why do you waste your time in liking me?" Naruto asked.

"One question at a time, remember?" They glared at his reply, and he sighed. "If I die whilst fighting him, then how am I going to restore my clan?"

"Who're you asking?" Naruto asked.

"You, you asked the question," he retorted.

"Oh, alright. If you became a sperm donor, I'm sure you could pull it off whilst you're death," she laughed. "My turn!"

"It's my turn," Sasuke said.

"No, you just asked me question!" she exclaimed.

Sasuke thought for a moment and then nodded. "True, your turn."

"Banshee, what is Bimbo's weakness?" she asked.

Sakura gaped at her. "That is your question?" Naruto nodded and Sakura sighed. "Alright, I guess it is her body. She has a strong mind, but her body is weak."

"Oh, like you?"

"NARUTO!" Sakura growled loudly.

"Anyways, your turn, Sakura," Sasuke interrupted.

She cleared her throat. "Right, Sasuke-kun, what do you see in Naruto?"

Sasuke thought for a moment or two. "Naruto is strong, serious with training and has a warm heart. She is also the only person in this village that will be able to understand me, since she's been through just as much as I have, maybe even more. She is also the only person who can make me smile, and annoy the hell out of me. I guess that is what I like about her."

"Oh," Sakura managed to choke out, whilst Naruto stayed quiet. "Your turn Sasuke-kun."

He nodded and looked at Naruto. "Do you like Kiba?" he bluntly asked as Naruto's cheek began reddening.

"W-W-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ASKING, PERVERT?" she stuttered. "O-OF C-C-… Okay, maybe I like Kiba… I don't know."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked.

"I mean, I don't know if I like him or not. Sometimes, when he makes a perverted remark, I want to hit him. Then, sometimes when he acts all sweet to me and is the perfect guy, I kind of like him. But there is sometimes where I can't see him as more than a friend at all."

They nodded in understanding.

"Then, Banshee, tell us about your parents," Naruto said.

"My parents, well, they're not ninjas or anything, and they're kind of boring to talk about. I get my pink hair from my father, and my personality from my mother, otherwise I don't see them a lot," she said. "Sasuke-kun, how was your parents?"

He thought for a moment. "My father was tough and he always wanted me to be the best. He wanted me to be like my brother, but he was always disappointed. My mother was gentle, nice and beautiful. I look like my mother, but I have my father's personality," he replied. "Naruto, your parents?"

"I don't know," she bluntly replied. "I never met them and the old man refuses to tell stories about them. But he did say that they died during the Kyuubi attack, when I was born."

They were silent. "Sorry," Sakura and Sasuke muttered.

"For what? I'm not upset," she grinned. "If they died during the Kyuubi attack, I am sure that they were heroes like everybody else, who died."

"But you were just born," Sakura said.

"I know, and I can't help to blame myself for making my mother weak that day. I don't know about my father, but I'm sure that he was out fighting for his village. Grandpa Hokage told me they were very strong ninjas, though," she finished. "NEXT QUESTION! Banshee, why did you become a ninja?"

"Because I wanted to," she answered.

"Eh, no details?"

"Nope, it was pure want of the art."

"Aw, that's boring!" Naruto whined.

"Well, too bad it's my turn! Sasuke-kun, where do you see yourself three years from now?"

"I see myself as a Jounin, maybe already with a kid at that time," he replied.

"That's it?" Naruto asked. "No 'I'M THE GREATEST NINJA IN THE WORLD', only a kid?"

"Is Naruto the mother?" Sakura asked.

"Would I ruin this body? Hell no!" she yelled.

"I have to start restoring my clan, when I turn fifteen or sixteen, maybe I'll even have two kids at that time," he said. "Naruto could be a mother, and I know she is only kidding right now. By watching her at Wave, she loves families. Remember she didn't get home until the very next day?"

Naruto pursed her lips into a thin line. "I-I'm not kidding! There is a reason as to why I wouldn't be a mother so young!"

"And that reason would be?"

"Is that your question, Sasu-chan?" Naruto asked and he nodded in respond. "I have a rather huge burden that I can't share with you. Let's just say that, if I ever had a child that burden would only get stronger. Maybe I will have a child in the future, but not at a young age."

They remained silent like that for a while, until Sakura took out some bread they shared. "Here, eat; we'll have to keep our stomachs full. Anyways, it's your turn, Naruto."

"Right, Banshee, tell us something about you that nobody else knows!" she said.

"Oh, no!" Sakura whined. "Um, I've always wanted to be your friend, Naruto…" she said hesitantly.

Naruto's eyes went wide. "WHAT?! You're kidding! Tell me you're kidding. Woman, are you kidding?"

"Nope, I'm not kidding. Ever since first day of the academy, you've been in my sight. You always had it fun, and you made Hinata-san laugh all the time. And trust me, Hinata-san never laughs."

Sasuke just sat there in shock. "No way," he muttered. "But you hate Naruto…"

"Well, sometimes when you hate someone you actually like them. Right, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura said with an innocent smile plastered on her face.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Shut up."

"So, my turn!" Sakura said cheerfully. "Sasuke-kun, hm, what to ask, what to ask… Oh, what is it like to live alone?"

"Um, it's kind of hard. I always have to cook dinner, clean up and all that stuff, you know? And then there is grocery shopping, which is the most annoying thing in the world. All those housewives there are in that store, they all stare at me like… like I don't know, but it's creepy," he replied.

"I know what you mean, well, actually they glare at me," Naruto said whilst nodding.

Sasuke sighed. "It's my turn, so, Naruto, there were several children that became orphans during the Kyuubi attack, and even before and after, so why does Hokage-sama have a stronger interest in you, than other orphans? I haven't even received that much attention from him."

"Well," she started, "I don't know actually, I just… Maybe I'm just different from other orphans? Maybe it's because I'm the only orphan that causes trouble all the time. Maybe he was close to my family? I don't know."

"**Because of me, ne?" **Kurama said.

'_Exactly because of you, stupid fox,'_ Naruto thought to him.

"**Who are you calling stupid, dead-last?"** he shot back.

'_That enormous fox I have inside of me,'_ she replied. "My turn! Banshee, what do you really like, apart from Sasu-chan?"

Sakura smiled. "Hm, I guess I love to read, cook and fight. I even like them more than him."

"I feel so special," Sasuke muttered as the girls laughed at him.

"Now, it's my turn!" Sakura cheered. "Sasuke-kun, when you awakened your Sharingan, did it hurt?"

He shook his head, slightly, and then stopped to think. "How did you know about my Sharingan being awakened?"

She laughed. "Oh please, it was so obvious. You began training easier than before, and you seemed to read Lee-san's movements for a little time, when you fought."

He sighed in defeat. "I guess only an idiot wouldn't notice, huh?"

Naruto felt like she had just been slapped. _'I didn't notice! You asshole, -12!'_

"Well, it did sting a little at first, but then the pain disappeared and I felt like my sight had just improved by far," he said. "Anyways, my turn. Naruto, at Wave, you mentioned something about a mountain high fox, what did you mean?"

Naruto visibly paled, as her eyebrow twitched. "T-that, that's because I have the spirit of a fox, you know? I'm stubborn and all that, you know?" she laughed. The other members of team seven just pretended to believe her obvious lie. "Well, Banshee, this is an important question… Will you ever get over Sasu-chan?"

Sakura laughed. "Of course I could, but I choose not to right now. If you two ever get together then I'll give up for sure."

"You said if," Sasuke grumbled.

"Naruto obviously hates you, Sasuke-kun," she said as she smiled innocently. "Well, my turn! Sasuke-kun, what's your happiest memory?"

"When I became a Genin," he replied immediately. "You know, after the real Genin test, what about you Naruto?"

Naruto thought for a moment about it. "Hmm, when I was six and got my own apartment. Grandpa Hokage then took me out for dinner with his family, and I felt like a part of it, Banshee, yours?"

"Hm," Sakura mummed. "It may have been the time I started the academy that was good times, really." She smiled. "Now, what about a last round then we'll check the area once again, and make a sleeping schedule?"

"Then, I'm the last to ask or is it Naruto?" Sasuke asked.

"No, we'll go this round, then we'll stop at you, which means, yes you will have the last question," she replied. "But right now, it's my turn! Sasuke-kun, what was the name of your family?"

"My dad's name was Fugaku and my mom's Mikoto, my brother's name is Itachi," he replied. "Naruto, I know you don't know about your parents, so I'll ask about that little kid. The one who is calling you his future wife, who is he?"

Naruto paled. "That freaking shit-head is grandpa Hokage's grandson… Konohamaru-chan. He is the pest itself! I don't know even know why I he claimed me his future wife that freak…"

Sakura laughed at her, as Naruto glared back.

"Anyways, Banshee, what's your parents' name?" she asked.

"My dad's name is Kizashi and my mom's is Mebuki," Sakura replied. "Now, Sasuke-kun, are you aware of the fact that you've kissed Naruto?"

Sasuke's cheeks began warming up at the memory. "Yes, I am aware of that," he said with a cough to hide the blush. "My turn, Naruto, can we call you Naru-chan?"

Sakura's face lit up. "Yeah, pretty please!"

"No way," Naruto firmly replied.

"With ramen on top," Sasuke offered.

Naruto's face softened at the mention of ramen and she bit down on her lip. "A-alright, just not in front of Kiba!"

"Well, that was the last question for today, now, I'll go out as the first to secure the area again, you two will check on our traps, but first we have to arrange a sleeping schedule," Sasuke said as the girls nodded in respond. "I will be the one to be up first then I'll wake Sakura up and she'll wake Naru-chan up. This'll happen every two hours, so we'll be fresh to go tomorrow at nine."

"Wait, you're not going to grope us in our sleeps are you, Sasu-chan?" Naruto asked accusingly.

"Oh Sasuke-kun, you pervert," Sakura said.

Sasuke growled at them. "Shut up, just follow the plan, I'm not going to grope you or anything."

"Uh, somebody lacking in hormones?" Naruto countered with a laugh.

"Naru-chan, shut up," Sasuke growled.

"Aw, Sasu-chan, you know I'm only teasing you, I would never do anything to cause your self-esteem to drop," she said with a smile. "Except, I might take some of your huge-ass ego."

"Naru-chan, let us leave him alone for now, if we don't want him to kill us in our sleeps, hm?" Sakura suggested.

"Right, but I think he would take advantage of us first…"

* * *

><p>Me: Short I know, kind of boring, yeah, too long a wait, I am so sorry, I'll go kill myself now. Next chapter will be longer, but I can't promise anything about the time.<p>

Naruto: You didn't update on my birthday, like you had planned in your head!

Me: I know, but suddenly I had two presentations to do… T_T!

Sasuke: That's not an excuse! That's a pathetic cry for help.

Sakura: No need to cut it short, too! And make such a boring chapter, shame on you!

Me: Alright, alright, I get it!

Kiba: Akamaru, get her!

Akamaru: VUF!


	14. Chapter 13 - Freaking Sneaky Giant

**Almost a Female Lifestyle**

Me: Weapons down, or I will not be responsible for chapter 13!

Naruto: Happy anniversary, Almost a Female Lifestyle!

Sasuke: Hmpf, what he said.

Me: That's right! Today is the day; Almost a Female Lifestyle turns a year! Only thirteen chapters in a year, I'm ashamed…

Naruto: You also had to manage other stories, like Uzumaki Prodigy, what chapter is it up on now?

Me: 18, soon 19 because of the anniversary the 20th.

Sasuke: We have nothing special in this chapter…

Me: Actually, Naru-chan and Sasu-chan will be flirting in this chapter!

Sakura: What about me?

Me: Uh… LOOK A DISTRACTION! I do not own these characters!

* * *

><p>Summary: Naruto is dead-last… But is she really now? Read as she makes her way into the shinobi world with a stupid pink-haired banshee, a brooding emo like closet pervert, an open perverted sensei AND a stupid thinking idiotic fox.- FEMNARU- -One-sided; SasufemNaru and femNaruKiba. –Don't have an inner pervert. –Rated for language.<p>

''Yo'' – Talking

'_Ero-Genin'_ _– Thinking_

''**Kit'' – Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon/Jutsu.**

'_**Bitch' – Thinking for Demon/Summoning/Inner Sakura/Inner Demon.**_

**Warning: May or may not contain spoilers… o_o'! And bad language, sorry still don't have an inner pervert… o_o'!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 13 – Freaking Sneaky Giant<p>

"That way!" Naruto yelled as she pointed to the right.

"Are you stupid?" Sasuke questioned. "If we take that way we'll end up going the right twice, which would mean that we're going in a circle!"

"Are you calling me, Uzumaki Naruto-sama, stupid?" she asked. "I thought you fucking loved me!"

"I like you, not love you, there's a way to go before I'll love you," he said. "Besides, stupid suits you."

"Aw, fucking aw," she said, sarcastically. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?!"

"It makes you cute," he continued. "How about that? Stupid suits you, because it's cute."

"I like that one, thank you Sasu-chan," she said happily. "Well, until now, we haven't had some serious competition, but it's only second day, so we can't be too sure. That's why we need to go right!"

"Why should we go right because of that?" Sakura asked.

"Because, then we will confuse the enemy, who is following our trail, and they will give up because of exhaustion!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Are you stupider than usual?" Sakura growled. "Be serious, we can be attacked anytime now, and Sasu-chan, what did I say before the exam?"

"What have I been saying all this time about that nickname?" he countered.

"If I have to deal with your flirting, then you'll have to deal with the nickname!" she said.

"Then you shouldn't complain."

Sakura sighed in defeat. "Let's just go straight ahead; maybe we can catch someone close to the tower."

"That's a great idea, Banshee," Naruto complimented. "Why didn't I think about that?"

Sasuke shushed them both as he looked around the surroundings, suspicious.

"Looks like we've been found out," a voice in a tree said. "Let's reveal ourselves, shall we?"

"It might be a good idea," another voice agreed. "Besides, we're not their enemy, are we?"

"N-no, but why were we hiding in the first place?" a female voice asked.

Naruto gasped. "HINA-CHAN!" she exclaimed loudly as team eight revealed themselves among the trees. "I'm so glad you're here." She ran towards the Hyuga with her arms spread wide open, as she embraced them in a hug.

"Naru-chan," Hinata muttered. "It's good to see you're all okay." She smiled. **"If she hadn't been, I would've killed the people who hurt her!"**

"Well, we were attacked on the first day, but it was nothing, small business, small business," Naruto said, shrugging. "I see you're okay, too, that's good."

"Sasuke," Kiba greeted, rudely.

"Kiba," Sasuke replied with the same tone.

"Shino," Shino said, with the same tone. "Not like anybody remembered me."

"I feel ya'," Sakura said.

"Well, we have the two scrolls already, so we're on our way to the tower," Kiba boosted. "What about you, Sa-su-ke-kun?"

"We're alive," he replied.

"Oh really, that's so sad!" Kiba laughed loudly, but as he felt something wrapping around his waist, his laugh died. "Naru-chan, are you hugging me?"

"No, I'm reminding you why it's damn good that I'm alive," she replied. "I missed you Kiba-kun!"

"Look Sasuke, she's hugging me!" he said. "Jealous yet?"

"Ugh," Sasuke groaned. "I am not jealous."

"You shouldn't be either," Sakura said. "You two were hugging each other tightly in your sleep; I couldn't wake you up because it was so adorable."

Sasuke smirked as he looked at Kiba. "Jealous yet?"

Naruto blushed in to Kiba's shirt. "What are you saying, Banshee?!" she asked Sakura.

Now it was Kiba's turn to smirk. "Not the slightest, Sasuke."

Naruto turned her attention to Hinata once again. "Hina-chan, you're so beautiful!" she exclaimed as she went off to hug her again. "If I was a boy, I would marry you in a heartbeat!"

Hinata blushed. "Ah, t-thank you, Naru-chan. I'm pretty sure that you'll get married fast, too. Same goes for Sakura-san."

Kiba's eyes widened. "Guys, there are three people heading this way!" he exclaimed.

"Gather," Sasuke ordered as the people gathered around. "Okay, team eight, you can just go ahead and leave, we go this one."

"Wouldn't it be the wisest to keep us around, Sasuke?" Shino asked. "You're not the strongest in this exam, these people could be deadly."

"Point to Shino," Naruto announced. "Hina-chan, activate your byakugan!"

"H-Hai!" Hinata activated her byakugan and looked around until she found the enemy. "Three people as said, from the Grass. One has an amazing amount of chakra, more amazing than Naru-chan's, and that says a lot."

"Wait, how can you see how much chakra the person has?" Sakura asked.

"The chakra is practically overflowing," she replied. "Normally, the amount of chakra can't be determined, since the body reduces just as much chakra as anyone else, and the rest is hidden somewhere deeper, but this guy is covered in chakra. Not on the outside, but on the inside…"

"Amazing," Sakura muttered.

"S-Sasu-chan?" Naruto stuttered. "Why don't I feel safe, even though we're six against three?"

Sasuke thought about it. "I don't know, Naruto. We'll just have to trust each other."

"Okay, who's fucking touching my ass?" she asked.

"No one is touching your ass," Sasuke replied.

Kiba snickered. "Sorry, I thought it would calm you down a little."

"Kiba, you bastard!" Sasuke growled.

"Focus!" Sakura yelled at them.

Hinata took her hand in Naruto's and she looked at her. "Naru-chan," she whispered, "I don't think these people are Genins. They're even stronger than Chunins…"

"Don't worry, Hina-chan," Naruto whispered back. "As long as we have, and I don't like to admit it, Sasu-chan then everything will turn out alright. Hopefully, he'll save us in the end."

Hinata squeezed her hand. "Be careful, alright?"

"Shall do, Hina-chan…"

And as if on cue, as Naruto finished that sentence, a huge gush of wind came from God knows where and hit the six Genins. As they were pushed back, one by one they jumped out of the stream, with an exception of one.

With Naruto.

She groaned as she was on the ground, beside a tree. She didn't make it, when they all jumped out. That was probably because she was really thin. She coughed. "Ouch, I got hit by the tree!" she whined as she stood up from the ground. "What the hell was that, anyways?"

She looked around, trying to spot something familiar, but she couldn't. This was a part of the forest, they haven't entered.

"Where are the others?" she wondered. "Sasu-chan, Hina-chan?!" she tried calling out, but much to her surprise - well not exactly a surprise - nobody answered. "Kiba-kun, Shino-kun, Banshee?!" she tried once again, but as the first result, nobody answered.

She jumped as she felt the ground rumble.

"Earthquake?!"

As she looked around again, behind her she spotted – it wasn't hard to spot – a giant snake. If there were one animal Naruto was afraid of, it had to be snakes.

"A-a snake… Oh Kami," she breathed heavily. "Why me?!"

Her eyes locked with the snakes and she began trembling.

"S-Sasu-chan, where are you?" she stuttered hopelessly. "I'm scared…"

With Sasuke and Kiba.

"Why did you have to land on me?" Sasuke asked, groaning. "That freaking hurts!"

Kiba smirked at him. "If you can survive having that pole up your ass, then you can survive me being thrown into you. Well, unless your pole just got further up and bored a hole in your scull."

"I choose to ignore that statement," he replied as he stood up from the ground, he was lying on. "Where are the others?"

Kiba sniffed in the air. "Sakura and Hinata are together and Shino is alone," he said.

"And Naruto?"

He sniffed in the air once again. "Eh, I can't sense her. Maybe she is covered in mud, or…"

"Or what?" Sasuke asked.

"When a person dies, they lose their scent…"

Kiba didn't have to say anymore, before Sasuke rushed out of wherever they were.

"O-Oi, Sasuke!" Kiba called out, as he followed him with Akamaru. "We don't know where to look!"

"That shouldn't stop us from looking, should it?"

"I know but, it's best to find Hinata first!"

"Why?!"

"She has the byakugan; she could find Naruto even if she is dead or not!"

Sasuke stopped in track. "Where can we find her?"

With Sakura and Hinata.

"Hinata-san, are you alright?" Sakura asked.

"I-I'm fine, Sakura-san," she replied.

"You're bleeding, you're not fine!" Sakura protested as she walked towards her with her first aid kits in a small box. "Come on, I'll stop the bleeding."

Hinata nodded in respond as she took off her jacket, to show the bleeding part of her arm. "I think I fell on some sharp stone…"

"I think so too," she agreed. "The wounds aren't that deep, but there were lots of blood. Nothing dangerous, now that I've treated it."

"Thank you," she said.

"Can you find the others?"

Hinata nodded as she activated her byakugan. "I can see Shino-kun nearby, the same for Sasuke-kun and Kiba-kun. Naru-chan is alone, she's trembling… She's scared…"

As if on cue, out came Sasuke and Kiba and found the two girls. "This is bad, this is bad!" Kiba exclaimed loudly. "I can't sense Naruto at all!"

"Don't worry, she's alive," Sakura assured them. "But Hinata said she looked scared."

"Then we must find her, and fast," Shino – who just showed up – said. "We can't waste any time."

"Wait," Sasuke said. "This is Naruto we're talking about, what's she scared of? Is she facing these guys all alone?"

"N-No," Hinata replied. "It's something that appears to be a snake of some sort. A giant, enormous snake."

"Oh no," Kiba said. "Naruto is terrified of Snakes!"

"She is?" Sasuke and Sakura asked in simultaneously.

Hinata nodded. "We have to find her!" She put on her jacket quickly, but Sasuke stopped them from going anywhere, again.

"We'll have to split up," he said.

"Why?" Kiba asked.

"Because, our enemies could be nearby already," he replied. "Sakura, Hinata you two find Naruto, whilst we find our opponents."

"Shouldn't we have a code of some sort?" Kiba asked.

This time Shino replied: "No, the enemies could be anywhere; we can't form a code under these circumstances."

"Alright then," Sakura said as she stood up from the ground and helped Hinata up. "We'll go find Naruto."

With Naruto.

She was in a corner, away from the snake, trembling with her knees to her chest as she was sitting down. She was on the edge of crying. _'I was always afraid of Purple-sensei's snakes when I was younger, so she stopped showing them to me in the end…'_ she thought.

"**You gotta stop being afraid of those things," **Kurama said. **"I'm more terrifying, but you never show any fear before me!"**

'_You're different, you're sealed into a cage,'_ she thought. _'Like a house pet…'_

"**Damn little brat, you just called me your pet!"**

'_Kurama-kun, I'm scared!'_she whimpered. _'Where are the others, I don't want to be alone!'_

"**Breathe kit, just breathe,"** he said. **"It's okay to be afraid of something, but as a ninja, you'll have to overcome it. You can't show fear to anybody, not even animals."**

'_But, I can't move I'm too scared. I'm like a little bitch on her first day as a slave!'_

"**Great example…"**

"Naruto!" a loud voice yelled, snapping Naruto out of her thoughts and she looked up. Sakura and Hinata were standing there.

"B-Banshee, Hina-chan," she stuttered.

"This isn't like you to be afraid," Sakura teased. "Oh how good it feels to be able to save you!"

"Naru-chan, don't worry, we got this one," Hinata assured her, as she stood in the Hyuga style position.

"I didn't know that the almighty Uzumaki Naruto could actually cry!" Sakura laughed. "Look at your face, and your eyes, they're all watery!"

"S-Shut up!" Naruto yelled, embarrassed. "It's not my fault…"

"Suck it up, it's just a snake," she said. "In reality, they're more afraid of you, than you are of them."

'_Fucking bitch, that thing looks like it wants to eat me!'_ she thought. "You say that again, when you turn into supper for that giant…"

"HAH!" Sakura laughed. "Right now, Sasuke-kun, Kiba and Shino are off looking for the enemy, we can't waste our time standing here and do nothing. The least we can do is to turn this thing into _our_ supper."

"Ew, I hate snake," Naruto said.

"Well, get used to it, you're dealing with this as a ninja, not as a child," she said. "On second thought, just said there and do nothing, I want to show you that I'm just as much of a ninja as you and Sasuke-kun!"

"M-Me too, I'll be useful, too," Hinata agreed.

"Well, let's do this!"

* * *

><p>Me: Thank you for a year already, thanks, really… I feel like I've improved!<p>

Naruto: I'm on a highway to hell! Highway to hell!"

Me: Eh, but… we're done with the chapter… so… you're confusing!

Sasuke: *Add – Sigh* Well, stay tuned for the omake, right below us.

Me: Sorry for bad quality, I wrote this on a whim.

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE-CHAN<strong>

Around a table, for the first time in history, sat all Konoha's rookie nine, male. Sasuke, Shino, Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji, even Akamaru was with them. They were seated at the barbeque shop, where they ate together.

"So, what do you guys think of Naru-chan?" Kiba asked. "I want her mine!"

Sasuke's eye twitched. "Shut the hell up, Kiba!"

"What's your problem? Go back to being the sulky Uchiha, that didn't care for anyone! Naru-chan's mine!"

"You wish, Inuzuka," Sasuke growled. "Like hell you deserve her!"

"Oh and you do?!"

"More than you."

"Oh, but she's not a lesbian, too bad for you," he laughed.

"Excuse me?!" Sasuke growled, once again.

"You're excused," Kiba replied, not even thinking that he would receive a punch for that one, as he flew away.

"There they go again," Shikamaru sighed.

"It's very amusing," Chouji said.

"Agreed," Shino said. "Although, I think Sasuke is better off with Naruto."

"Why?" Shikamaru asked.

"Because," Shino started, "plus and minus is minus, whilst plus and plus is plus. If we say minus is Sasuke and plus is Kiba and Naruto, then if they were to be together, nothing would change, like it would if Sasuke and Naruto got together."

"Why are you talking about me and those two being together?" a voice suddenly said and as they looked over, they saw the Konoha rookie nine, females. "And why are they fighting?"

"They're deciding who should have you, Naruto," Chouji said.

"Eh, really?" she questioned. "Then, the one who buys me the most meat can have me!"

"You're on!" Kiba and Sasuke said, whilst they were hold each other in a stranglehold.

"I'll win, Inuzuka!"

"You wish, Uchiha!"

"Naruto, are you sure that is wise?" Sakura asked.

"Nope, but more meat for me!" Naruto laughed.

**THE END OF OMAKE-CHAN!**


	15. Uwaah was involved in an accident

Hello, this is Uwaah's friend, you can call me Fukui. Um, how to say this… Uwaah is currently hospitalized due to an accident and told me to write this to you people. She can't keep writing in the state she is in right now, but have no fear (as she would say)! Her condition is stable and she'll be up and running in a couple of months!

Sincerely,

Fukui, Uwaah's best friend.


End file.
